As Fools Do
by ShylohJaye
Summary: Kakashi and Rin try to piece back together their lives after Obito dies. It's not that easy when your Sensei has detatched from everything and you feel like giving up. It's in the Aftermath that you find out who matters. implied relationships.
1. Chapter 1

Kakashi was standing at the old bridge that he used to come to with Obito, Rin, and Sensei. He swore that he would never come back after Obito had passed away. This was Obito's place; he had been the one to first suggest that they meet there. This was where Rin wanted to be after Obito's funeral. He had offered to take her home with him that night, telling her she shouldn't be alone in an attempt that he wouldn't have to confess that he was the one who needed the company and comfort. She told him no, she wanted to be with Obito. Hearing that statement was odd at first, but after watching her sit down at the bridge, dangling her bare feet over the water as she laid her head down on the red panel, watching the sun with the most venerable and saddest eyes he'd ever seen her use, set gently in front of her, he began to understand. She said that that day officially marked the end of Obito Uchiha, protector of them all.

He said he'd never come back here again after that day, and after hearing her say those words. Rin was annoyingly optimistic, and hearing his only sunshine in the past few years say something like that changed him. He closed his eyes tight to hold back the tears that had threatened to fall after he remembered what had happened to that idiot, his best friend, and why. He cursed when he felt the warm fluid drain into the bandage covering his still healing left eye. He'd made it bleed again. It was almost as if the eye wanted him to cry, because every time he refused to do so it'd bleed and he'd spend a couple days in the hospital to prevent a serious infection.

These days were the roughest he'd been through since his father died. All he wanted was an escape, and right now he was standing at the spot. Obito's spot, the spot in the middle of Obito's life, his equilibrium- it was the last place Kakashi needed to be. He needed to find Rin, he needed to check on her and make sure she was okay, he hadn't seen her all day. She refused to talk to him, she refused to acknowledge "Kakashi" as even a word anymore. That was fine, because she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily. She'd have to kill him first, because he damn sure wasn't going to let her be in any danger. He'd take care of his eye later, all it was was a torn stitch.

He'd found her downtown at the flower shop, standing outside and looking at the flowers. She didn't seem to notice him standing there until he intentionally cleared his throat out of impatience and pain. She turned around and gave him a small smile, giving him a sad look in her chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh, hey Kakashi." Her body language changed suddenly as she noticed his injury. "Are you bleeding again?" She asked him softly, gently applying pressure to each end of the beginning and ending of the suetcher holding his eye together to determine where the torn stitch was.

"Yeah, the muscle around it keeps tightening. I need some more painkillers."

"Kakashi, you refilled those last month, how could you have blown through them already?"

"It hurts Rin, a lot."

"Killing yourself with painkillers isn't going to help-

"I'm not gonna kill myself." He interrupted.

"On purpose."

He grunted in pain and grimaced as she hit the torn stitch, pressing the bandages into the severely sensitive retina muscle tissue and causing a very sharp sting. As he exhaled slowly to relieve some of the pressure, he heard her mumble something, but he wasn't sure what.

"Congratulations. It's a muscle tear, you need to go get it all re-stitched again." She told him sarcastically, taking her hands away from his face when he caught her wrist.

"Come with me."

"I don't think so."

"Please Rin, I miss you."

"Damn it Kakashi, I said no!"

"Why?" He demanded firmly and fiercely, gripping her arm tighter and bringer her closer to his own body. His revealed eye had a scary look to it. It had a look of guilt- Kakashi never showed remorse for anything, at least not to her. It scared the hell out of her.

"Why not?" He asked again.

She jerked her arm out of his grip and stepped back from him. He wasn't doing so well since she had last seen him, which was only a few days ago. It was evident that what had happened to their team was finally taking it's toll on Kakashi. When she had cried like a baby he just stood and held her, not a single tear had fallen from his eyes. Kakashi was in a lot of ways a better shinobi than she would ever be. He had far more tighter reign on his emotions than she did. He was a much better survivor than she was.

"I can't be around you right now." She told him softly.

"Walk with me to the hospital, we don't have to talk."

She started to talk and then saw a desperate look in his eye, and naturally she folded like she always did.

"Okay."


	2. In the light of Truth

The walk to the clinic of Konoha's hospital was an awkward one. Kakashi didn't make any attempt to make conversation like he had promised. He didn't really care, it was enough to know that she was there with him. The fact that she was still alive and safe was a huge relief that he didn't quite understand. He tried not to think about it too hard, people told him he thought too much anyways. He distracted himself by watching her, it never failed as a distraction. He watched as she shifted uncomfortably as she tried to distract herself from his presence by ringing her hands and popping her knuckles. It was amusing to watch actually.

He was caught off guard when she spoke to him.

"Kakashi?"

"M?"

"You should ask for a different medicine. Tell them the ones you have now aren't working." She suggested.

He didn't respond.

"You hear me?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever." He snapped at her, half from pain and the other half from her being as difficult as she was.

The first time they've talked in a week and with so much to talk about, she wants to talk about his medications.

As they neared the building, he felt a feeling of relief. He had never been happier to see the clinic, but dreaded going in there for fear of him being quarantined to prevent infection again.

He hated the hospital, he couldn't even stand being there anymore which was an incredible achievement because he had an outstanding amount of patience.

Between the hypocritical doctors, the ever present smell of cleaning fluid, the bimbo's that they called assisants, the noise of heart monitors and constant stitching was more than even _his _patience could stand. He contemplated not going, but he was just in too much pain not to.

"I'll talk to you later, Rin." He said as he began to climb the stairs to the front door.

He almost jumped when she grabbed his hand to stop him.

"I'll go with you." She said gently, her brown eyes betraying her worry for him.

It secretly made him feel so much better to not feel so alone. He couldn't help but feel like she needed him as much as he needed her. It was almost as if she would never leave him. Almost like she couldn't if she wanted to. That he was a permenant fixture in her life that could never be replaced.

He hoped that it was something like to that effect. The day they came back with one man down, he found that his promise to Obito would stick forever. He couldn't live without her even if he wanted too. He opened the door for her and followed her in. He walked up to the Out Patient registation counter as one of the nurses that he knew he had seen before from some where.

* * *

"Hello, Kakashi." Her voice was what made it click in his head. She was the nurse that had admitted him before. She was the one that was kind enough to actually numb the eye socket before they began the surgery to keep him from contracting an infection. She was there when he woke up from the surgery, chattering idly with Rin. She was also patient with him when he pulled back everytime she touched it because of the searing pain. Back when they were testing the eye to make sure the nerves were still operational. 

He was in debted to this woman. She was in her fifty's or so, and he practically knew her life story. She told it to him to distract him as best she could from the retna testing. He couldn't remember her name though.

_"Ahh!" Kakashi screamed before taking short labored breaths to try and ease the pain that his eye was causing. He turned away from the woman and slowly brought his hands up to his eye, afraid to touch it, knowing that if he did it would only cause more pain. The older woman just took her hands away from his face and gave him a soft smile. _

_"I know it hurts, Kakashi, but believe it or not, this is a good sign. It means that the nerves are intact with the transplant." She said while she waited for his pain to subside._

_"I'm sorry." He apologized. He knew he was making her job harder. H__e didn't mean to._

_"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault." She told him as he turned around and sat up right. "You ready to try this again?" She asked gently._

_He nodded as they began another two and half hours of painful retna and socket testing that took all of Kakashi's control to keep from crying out of pure agony._

"Hi." He said with a small wave. "I think I tore a stitch." He said motioning to his eye.

"Looks more like a muscle tear there dear," She said taking a better look at it and shaking her head. She smiled at him before she spoke. "Why don't you go ahead and come back here and we'll take a better look."

"Okay." He turned back towards Rin. "Do you wanna come or do you wanna stay back here?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'll go back with you. I wanna talk to Dr. Cohen about your progress."

"You can do that tomorrow at work." He teased before another stroke of pain hit him. "Fuck."

Her eyes softened as she let him lean into her a little so he could focus of alleviating the pain as best he could. "Come on Kakashi, let's get your eye taken care of." She said soothingly.

They were walking down the hall with the still unnamed Medic Assistant towards an examination room with Kakashi holding a hand over his eye, trying very carefully not to touch it. He smiled as he listened to her jabber on like she did when she got nervous about a situation. Rin kept talking to him and telling him that it would be okay and to listen to her and not focus on the pain and that it would all be over soon.

He was in so much pain he didn't even notice a man walking past him and looking at Rin suspiciously.

They got him into the exam room and the Assistant started to remove the old bandages. "Kakashi, you're gonna have to hold still." He was trying, he really was.

"I'll be right back, Kakashi." He heard Rin tell him as she left the room.

* * *

Rin walked back into the waiting room, and saw the man that had purposely caught her attention while she was taking care of Kakashi. She'd seen the tall, dark eyed stranger before. He was a Lord from the Land of Fire, and he had been practically stalking her since they had been home. He had never actually approached her, but he was around in too many instances for it to be normal. 

"Who are you?" She asked after she had cornered him.

"My name is Collin Nakaue. I'm from the Nakaue family."

"Why are you stalking me?"

"You look familiar, to me."

"Leave me alone. I've had enough, and the last thing I need is some body following me around."

"You're Rin Inuzuka, right?"

"Yeah. That's me."

"I've been looking for you."

"What do you mean you've been looking for me?"

"Lord Arashi hasn't told you yet? To end the war between the Leaf and Fire, the Nakaue's have requested a child from a Konoha clan." He explained.

"Why do I matter?"

"They've chosen the Inuzuka Clan, Rin." He continued. "-and Arashi has offered you as the mother."


	3. You're Grown

She stood there as still as if someone had just slapped her across the face. She had never in her life felt so betrayed as she wrapped her head around what this practical stranger was saying. Arashi-Sensei. He would never. Arashi-Sensei would never, never do such a thing to her. He would defend her against people like this. He would never offer her up as the sacrificial lamb for a baby maker for this noble family. He would never take advantage of her like that. Would he?

"Who do you think you are?" She asked, feeling the anger pulse through her veins. "Who the HELL do you think you are?!"

"He hasn't told you yet? I'm sorry. I thought you knew." He said, taking a step back from the angered Medic Nin.

"Lord Arashi is my Sensei. He would never do this to me! He would never offer the Inuzuka Clan!"

"Lady Tsume has also agreed." He told her warily, almost as if he thought she would slap him.

"Leave." She said in a death tone. "Leave this God-damned Hospital."

"Okay. I can see that you need some time. I can respect that. I suggest that, maybe, you see the Hokage. He might be able to explain the situation in a manner that you can accept. Good bye." He said before walking quickly out of the front door.

She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down and tried to push it out of her mind, but couldn't. She decided to go back in there with Kakashi.

She went back to Kakashi's examination room just as all of the old bandages had been taken off. She grimaced when she saw the Sharigan eye. The muscle tear was small, and it would only take a few minutes to restitch. That was a good sign, but it was really swollen and would probably need to be flushed out. The antibiotics would sting like hell. God, Kakashi could not catch a break with this eye.

"What do you think, Rin?" She heard Juleska ask. "Look any better to you?"

"Yeah. It's still swollen though."

"Yeah, I noticed that. I'm gonna have to flush it out." She said as she released Kakashi's eye lid and turned to the counter to get the necessary supplies.

"What's wrong Rin?" Kakashi asked. "You look upset."

"I'm fine Kakashi." She said giving him a small smile. " After we're done here, we have to go to Sensei's office."

"Sensei's? Why?" He asked, trying to focus the Sharigan as it was spinning and targeting various objects without his control.

"Just have to ask him a question." She said, trying to regain her composure.

She didn't want to upset Kakashi more than she had too, especially since he was about to get the hell stung out of him.

"M'kay."

"All right, doll. Now this has got some alcohol content to it. It'll kill the germs that are causing the swelling, but it's gonna sting."

"Do you have it Juleska? You need me to help?" She asked, wanting to be of some use to her practical mentor who had helped her more times than she could count. Being older than her, and more experienced, she had practically taken Rin under her wing. She taught her everything she needed to know.

"Just hold his hands still." She said, pouring some of the solutions onto a gauze to place on his eye.

"Okay." She grabbed Kakashi's hands and tried not to notice him playing subconciously with one of her rings. If it would distract him, then she would let him do it." It's gonna be okay Kakashi."

"Okay."

"Here we go, doll." She said as she placed the medicated gauze over the eye.

Kakashi immediately reacted to it. He pulled back and almost got the bandage off before Juleska was able to tape it down to his skin.

"Jesus!" He shrieked. Rin put all of her weight into holding his hands down as several cuss words were swore by Kakashi.

Rin did everything in her power to hold his hands down. The stiller he was the sooner it would be over.

It was so hard for her to see him in so much pain. He had always pushed her to be the best she could be. He was the one to stand strong in tough situations. He was the one to overcome loss without much attention. He had told her that it was "give it all" or "give it up". He was always the last to consider himself above the mission. He'd always been the last one to collapse after a long day of training. He was always the last one to give up. He was everything she wanted to be.

He was her everything. He was all she had. The only friend she had left in this world. There was no one in the world that understood her like Kakashi did. There was nobody who went to the lengths that Kakashi had. When she grieved over Obito, he stood strong for her and never asked for anything in return.

They were all they had left, especially since Sensei had withdrawn from them. Maybe he felt like this whole horrible situation had been his doing, and therefore didn't deserve to be with Kakashi and Rin. She didn't know what Sensei was going through, but she knew that it had hurt Kakashi.

She felt guilty, because she had almost done the same thing. She almost had the nerve to leave Kakashi. She swore to herself that she would never do it again. She swore that she would never leave him as long as she was alive, especially while he was hurt.

She wished that just that promise would make any signifigant difference. Kakashi was in more pain than he let on. He always was.

She knew from her medical experience that his eye would fully heal by the end of the year. She knew from knowing Kakashi that he would never forgive himself for what had happened. He was leading that mission, and to Kakashi, he was immediately at fault.

The mission leader was in charge of his team as well as the mission. That was the way he thought and there was no way she would be able to change that.

The only thing she could do for him at all was be there if and when he faced his demons. She had never felt so helpless.

"It's okay Kakashi. It's okay. Just try to hold still." She tried to sooth.

"It feels like a damn hornet stung my eye!"

"I know baby." Juleska said, petting his arm. "It'll be over soon"

Kakashi took a deep breath in and squeezed Rin's hand to let her know that he was okay. He didn't want to worry her.

About ten minutes after, Kakashi's pain had subsided enough for him to regain control. Rin brought a hand up to his hair and enterwined it between her fingers, feeling the softness of his silver locks. She loved Kakshi's hair. She never understood it, but she did.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Are you all right?" She asked against his skin as she felt him tremble.

"I'm fine." He told her. "Let's go to Sensei's." He said as he took his arm off of her back to stand up.

"Not until you stop shaking." She said sternly. "After that we should go home You've had enough today."

"Okay." He agreed, in no condition to argue.

* * *

After about twenty minutes, Kakashi was still weak, but insisted that they leave the Hospital and go to the Hokage's office. He reminded her that it would be better to talk to Sensei before they closed or they would have the troubled task of getting him to open the door at home. 

If they caught him at the Hokage's office, he had no choice but to see them.

They walked slowly as Kakashi struggled to stay on his feet. The Sharigan had taken so much of his Chakra that he was already weak, and the treatment at the Hospital had done him no certain favors.

"Kakashi, let me help you."

"No, that's okay. I can handle this."

"You can barely stand. Let me help you."

"I've got it." He said, right before he collasped on the ground.

"Kakashi!"

"I'm okay." He said trying to pick himself up.

She came over and helped him up. He could hear her quiet grunt as she tried to support both hers and his weight while walking.

"I'm sorry, Rin." He said as he tried his best to keep most of his weight off of her, not doing that great of a job. He was just too damn weak.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Kakashi. You're body is adjusting to the Sharingan. You won't always be like this. I promise."

* * *

They finally got to the Hokage's office. It took twenty minutes longer than it should have, but they got there. Rin carefully sat Kakashi down in a chair in the reception room. She took a moment to look him over. She tested his focus and eye movements, finding out that he was okay and just tired. She really needed to get him home, but she _had_ to talk to Arashi-Sensei. 

"I'll only be a minute."

"M'kay."

She walked over to the newly reassigned receptionist and asked her to keep an eye on Kakashi. She had agreed and told Rin that it was okay for her to go in. He hadn't had any visitors all day and apparently canceled the meeting that he had told Rin he would be in all day.

She didn't even bother knocking on the door. She walked right in and saw him doing paperwork for D ranked missions.

"Hello, Sensei." She greeted, doing her very best to keep a level head. She would give him the chance to explain himself. She owed him that.

He looked up at her from his stack of papers. "Rin? I didn't know you were coming by today."

"Me neither. Tell me about Collin Nakaue, Sensei."

He let out a long sigh and motioned to the chairs in front of him. "Have a seat, Rin. We need to talk."

"Okay. I have to make this quick. Kakashi's outside in the reception room. He's pretty drugged up." She said, pulling a chair out and taking a seat.

"So, what has Nakaue told you?"

"He said that to stop whatever's going on between Leaf and Fire, you offered my clan up as the sacrificial lamb and me as the mother." She said, trying to conceal how betrayed and hurt she felt.

"Rin. The Village Hidden in Fire is a very old village. They have a lot of trade opportunities and that could open a lot up to Konoha."

"So that makes it okay?!"

"Just listen. Let me explain. Now, I need you to trust that I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never offer you or the Inuzuka Clan up for "sacrifical lambs". You are a part of this village, and it's my sworn duty to protect all of you. You're going to turn sixteen soon. In your clan that's when you reach adulthood. When Lord Nakaue came to me with this proposal, he'd already cleared it with Tsume."

"I'm scared, Sensei. I don't want to do this!" She said, breaking down in tears as she put her head down on the table.

"I know, Rin. It's okay to be scared." He said, petting her hair.

"She can't make me do this. I won't."

"He really loves you, you know. Lord Nakaue. He's asked Tsume to be your suitor."

"I'm _not _gonna marry him. He'll have to kill me first!"

"Don't worry. Tsume said that Inuzuka women are not forced into arranged marriages."

Rin remembered that it was Tsume that made that rule for the Inuzuka clan. She had been put through an arranged marriage. She went through it without a fight, had two children, and watched him die in a mission two years later after her youngest son, Kiba, was born. She told her that she might have never really loved him as a soul mate, but she didn't feel whole without him. She said that she would never marry again and would never force another Inuzuka to marry a man she didn't truely love.

As Elder of the Clan, it was wrong to force them too.

Rin thought that maybe it was wrong to force them to have children by men they didn't truely love either as she sat there and cried on Arashi-Sensei's desk, feeling completely helpless.

* * *

She stood outside Tsume's house after she had gotten Kakashi back to her house and gotten him asleep. She was frozen for some reason. She didn't want to hear what Tsume had to say about practically selling her off. She wanted a reason. For some reason she didn't want Tsume to tell her. 

Rin looked up to Tsume. She really did. She wanted to believe as Elder of the Inuzuka clan she would do what was best for the Inuzuka clan. She had pracitally raised Rin since she was five, which was when the Inuzuka's began training their children under an Elder. She didn't judge Rin when Rin decided to take a career in medicine. She had been there for her every time Rin needed her to be.

It was hard for her to understand why Tsume would do this to her. She could understand anybody else doing it, but not Tsume.

She gathered her courage and walked into the house where she was practically attacked with love by the Inuzuka dogs. "Hey guys!" She greeted, suddenly remembering wht she loved dogs so much." What are you doin'? Huh?" She said playfully, ruffing up their fur.

She bent down to their level and petted them and thew all four of their toys before she sat off in search of Tsume.

"Rin!" an eight year old Hana greeted, hugging her.

"Hey, Hana. Is your mom home?"

"Yeah, she's putting brother to bed."

"Okay. I'll wait in the kitchen."

" No! Come see the puppies!" Hana said pulling her towards the puppy nursey. "They were born yesterday!"

"Okay. Okay, I'm commin." She said as she smiled at the enthuiastic girl.

She was drug into the room where Tsume raised new puppies. Hana led her over to a blue kiddie pool with a heat lamp hanging over it. She leaned in to see golden retriever puppies that looked like they had been bred with a German Sheppard or something similar. Rin had never seen a cuter litter of puppies, and all of a sudden her day hadn't seemed that bad.

They were adorable, and Rin resisted the urge to pick one up and hold it. If she did, she would never leave the room and she needed to talk to Tsume and get home to Kakashi as soon as she could.

She felt Hana poke her to get her attention. She pointed to one of the puppies. "You see that one?" The puppy she was pointing to was a platnium blonde puppy with brown ears and some brown on it's face. "Mommy's giving that one to brother. But it's a secret. He doesn't know yet."

"All right, young lady, it's time for bed."

"Okay. 'Night Mommy. 'Night Rin."

"Good night Hana." Rin said as the little girl trampled off to bed.

Tsume looked down at Rin still sitting on the ground infront of the puppy pool.

"What are you doing here so late, Rin?" She asked curiously.

"I came to talk to you about Collin Nakaue." She said, standing up and dusting off her jeans.

"Ah." Tsume said with a small nod. "Come in the kitchen. I'll pour you some tea. There's something we have to talk about."


	4. I Should Explain

Tsume sat two mugs of tea down in front of Rin as she took her seat across the table. Tsume watched Rin as she didn't reach out for it immediately. She looked so sad and miserable. Tsume hated this side of Rin. She was a sweet girl who saw the best in other people. She would do anything for anybody and didn't deserve to be emotionally tortured like she had been. Tsume hated not having any other option with agreeing to Rin's surrogacy. Rin was the only female of the right age. The other Inuzuka women were married or still children. She still felt like she had betrayed Rin and the trust that Rin had in her.

She hated that feeling.

In her heart, Tsume knew it went beyond that. It was beyond what she had done. It went beyond everything. It went beyond the deal she had made with the Nakaue's. It went beyond Kakashi's injuries. It went beyond anything that had been happening lately. She had kept it all inside while taking care of Kakashi and what he needed, medically or not. She had gone above and beyond her limits, and it had finally taken it's toll. She missed Obito.

"Rin. What's wrong?"

"I can't do this anymore, Tsume." She said quietly, picking up her tea and taking a sip of it.

"I know that I should have talked to you before I held the meeting with the Nakaue's.-

"Why Tsume? Why me? Why now?"

Tsume sat her tea down and exhaled slowly.

"I'm sure that you've noticed how expensive things have been getting around here." She paused for a minute. "Medical supplies, sheet metal for kunais, food, everything. The Land of Fire can change that for us. Their village is full of raw materials. It'll help Konoha's economy immensely."

"I can understand that. I guess. Why do they want a baby? I can't figure out why they want a baby from us. There's the Uchiha. The Hyuuga's. The Yuhi's. The Aburame's. Why an Inuzuka? Even more, why can't they have their own children from their own village women?"

"The Nakaue family has a history of death during child birth." She told Rin calmly. She also decided that she should explain their fascination with the clan. "They are also highly fascinated by an Inuzuka's natural abilities. You know how strong our children are compared to the other clans. We are a very strong clan, Rin. It's really no surprise that they want an Inuzuka for their village environment. The Inuzuka's have a huge advantage in a battle situation. In fire, it doesn't matter how well you can see or hear- it's about how fast you can move and how fast you can know something on the battle field.. With an Inuzuka's sense of smell..."

"What? What do you mean a history of child birth death?" She asked shocked.

"It's nothing genetic and Collin Nakaue has no children yet, so I chose him for you. It's also a possibility that it's because of the medicine in the Land of Fire. The medicine there is very primitive. They don't even have anesthesia. Of course, you won't leave the village and you'll have the child medically supervised here in Konoha."

"This close to Obito's death and you want me to have some stranger's baby." She said with a sigh before resting her head on the table.

"I just want you to realize that I didn't have a choice. It's our duty to Konoha to make sure it is safe. Without this we could very well be in a depression in the next few years."

"Okay. It's not like I can say "Give me some time to think about it", but I need some time to tell Kakashi and to get used to the idea. He can wait a couple of weeks right?"

"Of course. But Rin, don't think you can keep him waiting forever. The deals done."

"I know. Good night, Tsume." Rin said as she got up from her chair and walked towards the door.

"Sit down." She commanded. "We're not done."

Rin sat back down at the table obediently, looking at Tsume curiously. She rarely ever spoke to Rin like that, especially not after asking something of her. It was rude, even if you were the Elder.

"I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"You don't have any dogs at your apartment so I was wondering if you would mind training a puppy for me."

"Sure. I guess I could use the distraction. Which one?"

"Kiba's puppy. The one Hana showed you. He's small, so he'll need some work." Tsume told her, taking a sip of her tea.

"What are you calling him?"

"Akamaru. His mother's breed turns red under the soldier pill. I have the feeling he will too."

"Akamaru. Sure, I'll raise him, but Tsume, shouldn't Kiba? Hana raised her three."

"Kiba's still too young. He doesn't catch on to things as well as Hana does. I want him to have an older dog to train with. He's taking a different approach than Hana anyways."

Rin didn't have any reason to turn down the request. It was true that she needed the distraction. Kakashi probably could too. She loved dogs anyways. They were literally a part of her family. She didn't have a squad dog, but she didn't need one. She was a Medic Nin. She rarely left Konoha on missions, her place was in the hospital treating fatal injuries. There was no reason to have a dog in the hospital, and cruel to make a dog witness them.

That didn't mean that she couldn't raise one for her younger clan member.

"Okay. Sure. Just let me know when he's ready. I've got to go. I left Kakashi at home by himself." She said getting up and heading for the door.

"Rin."

"Yeah?"

"No matter what happens, you'll be fine. You're strong, and I proud of what you've turned out to be. You're a valued member of the Konoha medical squad. You're the Fourth Hokage's student. You're a strong Kunochi. You've made a good life for yourself. My sister would have been proud of you. Your mother would have been very proud of you."

"Thanks, Tsume. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."


	5. Fate's lullaby

Rin went home to her apartment and fished her keys out of her pocket. She felt like she had been put into a jar and someone had shook the hell out of the jar to start a twister: her head spun just the same with all the clouded emotions and thoughts. Listening to Tsume say things like that had thrown her emotional persona into a mess. Today was already hard enough. She was the only one affected. She was the only one who knew what today was, but that only made it hurt more.

It'd been four months today that Obito died.

She missed him. God, she missed him. She would do anything for a second chance. She would do anything to go back and take back all the mean things she had said to him. She never meant a word of it. Some times she said it because she was frustrated and others it was because he was the only one who would listen. She wanted to play cards: rummy, black jack, things they played to pass the time between missions. She wanted to discuss the latest town gossip or weaknesses and strength in the big scheme of things while they walked around town or trained. She smiled, remembering how much philosophy that they would go through in a single day. She would have never thought it would be Obito to die in a mission, she thought it would have been her. She wished it had been her. It should have been her instead of Obito.

She could talk to him about anything. From work, to training, to every day life. He taught her to be the better person.

She remembered when he had credited her for teaching him to stand strong. She taught him to never back down from something that mattered to him. It really wasn't as big of a deal that he had made it out to be. She was his shoulder to cry on when being a ninja got to be more than he could take. She loved Obito for that. He had feelings, unlike the old Kakashi before everything fell a part.

Some days it felt like she wasn't going to get by with out him there. He was the one person that caught her _each_ and _every_ time she fell. She wanted to look into his dark onyx eyes and feel like she could face the world like she used to.

She forced the tears back into her throat as she opened to door. She'd die for just one more day. Just one more.

She wanted to go to bed and crash, forget this day ever happened, but some how knew that sleep wouldn't come easy for her tonight.

She shut the door quietly and locked it behind her before taking off her leopard print jacket and setting her mailbag purse down on the table. She checked on Kakashi who was still sound asleep in her bed. She had given him a pretty strong sedative so he would sleep tonight. He seriously needed it. His body couldn't even fight off infections any more because he was so exhausted. She decided she'd take advantage of it and go take a shower. She thought that it would make her feel some what better. At the very least it would relax her muscles a little.

She had just gotten in when she heard some one shuffling around the house. She cut the water off so she could hear better and nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a loud knock on the door.

"Rin?" She heard Kakashi's groggy voice ask. "You in there?"

She wrapped up in a towel and opened the door. He had enough sedatives to put boss frog out. It was impossible for him to be up and talking like he was. She tilted his chin up and took a better look at his eyes and saw her answer. His eyes were still partially dilated. He was awake, but not fully conscious. He could go back asleep any minute and fall. She wouldn't be able to get him into the bedroom on her own and she refused to leave him on the floor.

"Kakashi." She said gently. "Come on . Let's get you in bed."

"Where'dchu go?"

"Tsume's. I'm gonna bring Akamaru home in a couple weeks. Get him ready for Kiba."

"That's good. You like dogs." He mumbled.

He stumbled a step and she almost stopped breathing. He could seriously get hurt because he wouldn't be awake to catch himself if he fell. She grabbed his arm to help stabilize him.

"Don't get out of bed again." She said sternly. "You're sedated and you're going to hurt yourself if you fall."

"When are you commin' to bed?"

"When I get finished with my shower."

"M'kay." He agreed tiredly before collapsing on her queen sized bed.

Once she was sure Kakashi was okay, she reached above him on the head rest and flipped the picture of her team face down. She didn't want to see Obito smiling back at her. Not tonight.

She went back into the bathroom to finish her shower. She was so tired. The majority of it was due to the stress that Tsume and Arashi-Sensei were putting on her to do this, some of it was due to her grieving over Obito and worrying about Kakashi. She couldn't deny that she was terrified. She was still terrified. Her hands still shook like they did when she was standing outside of Tsume's house.

She was terrified of telling Kakashi. She knew that he would not take this well.

He had taken his promise to Obito really seriously. The first few weeks, she wasn't even allowed to cross the street by herself. She couldn't go on a separate mission from him. She wasn't allowed to go on anything above a C ranked mission. When she had brought up her bills and her apartment, he said not to worry about it. He told her if she was ever in a crunch for money he would help her out. He had plenty of money from his father's estate. Millions.

She didn't expect to have an money issues. She still had her job at the Hospital, and there were no shortages of injuries.

Rin would never touch that money for the same reasons Kakashi hadn't. It was dirty money. It was supposed to be compensation for something Kakashi's couldn't compensate. His father.

She turned off the shower and got dressed in her favorite pajamas before making sure the door was locked and the lights were out and climbed into bed.

She heard Kakashi's breath slow and relaxed in sleep. His exhaustion wiping him out completely. She climbed into bed next to him and settled beneath the big purple comforter. She was startled when she felt Kakashi's hand creep onto her stomach. He whispered something, almost to quietly for her to hear. "Obito's been gone four months today."

She drew him into her arms as his sobs wracked his body. She tried to comfort him, but every time she spoke he would only cry harder.

"I keep trying to move on, Rin. I really do. I can't. " He wailed as he buried his face deeper into the hollow of her neck. "-I can't."

"I know. It's okay."

After about an hour Kakashi seemed to settle a little bit. She had been drifting to sleep when she felt Kakashi's breath on her skin. He moved a stray hair off of her face. "Rin? Are you asleep?"

"No,"

Her eyes shot open when she felt his lips drag across her neck. "Rin, make it go away." He pleaded through the tears. "Make it stop hurting."

She didn't know what he meant at first, but understood when he felt his knee slip between her thighs as his weight settled on top of her. His lips dragged against her neck again as she felt the hot tears against her skin.

"Kakashi." She mumbled softly, to softly for him to hear.

She thought about it for a minute. He was still under the influence of the sedatives and she should make him stop and just go to sleep.

Then, she felt her hands shaking like they had all night. Kakashi's voice echoed in her head to make it stop hurting. Maybe by doing this, they could both escape.

She brought her hands up to tangle in his hair as she pulled the mask all the way off of his tear stained face. "Okay, Kakashi. Anything to make you feel better."


	6. Cake's Forgiveness

It'd almost been two weeks since Kakashi had been back to Rin's house after running out of there like a scared dog after he realized what he had done. He hadn't seen her since and made a special effort to stay out of her daily routine. He made all of his appointments after Rin's shift was over and he was sure she had left the Hospital. He even asked the receptionist to keep his appointment book on a separate shelf from the appointments that Rin supervised so she wouldn't see when he was coming.

He felt ill all the time, partly from the painkillers and mostly from the guilt. It gnawed at him, chewing a hole through him.

When he was with Rin it had all gone away, the hurt, the fear the pain, all of it. Then afterwards it all flooded over him ten fold. He betrayed Obito by doing this. Obito loved Rin. He would have given her the world if she had given him the chance. Kakashi felt like he had just blind sided anything Obito had asked him to do in complete disregard for anything and it made him feel sick. His head hung sadly with the next thought that had weighed on his mind very heavily over the last few days.

He'd used Rin.

Despite her constant assurances that he had done nothing wrong, he felt like he had used her. He was sedated and feeling sorry for himself and tried to soothe whatever he was going through with sex. He'd done it before and succeeded but Rin was different.

Rin was his friend. The only friend he had left. He felt like the scum of the earth even before he saw the blood.

Rin had been a virgin and he took it away from her just to make himself feel better for a little while. The one thing that was hers to give to a man that she loved he took just because he could. She hadn't said anything to him, but then again he hadn't given her the chance. He started rambling and apologizing profusely before taking off, leaving her holding the sheets over her and undoubtedly humiliated.

He sat down on the bank next to the old red bridge, absently plucking the green blades beneath him as he watched the river flow towards whatever destination it was headed. He'd royally fucked up this time.

He heard someone coming over the bridge and cursed when he saw his intruder. It was Rin.

She was still wearing her uniform which told him she had just gotten off work. It was usual. She usually did her errands before she went home and changed. He noticed her dark hair braided in twin pig tails that laid against her head. He wasn't used to seeing her with braids of any kind. She usually didn't mess with her hair. She only did when their was an occasion or she got bored. She had a mailbag and her purse looped over her shoulder and a puppy in the other arm. The dog was white with brown ears and brown masking its eyes.

"Tsume's. I'm bringing Akamaru home in a couple of weeks."

It was probably the dog she was talking about. He felt his heart beat hasten as she approached him. He stood up as she got closer in respect, looking at her and then down to his feet, still ashamed of his actions.

"You've been avoiding me." She told him, her head cocked to the side.

"I wasn't sure if you want to see me. Not after what I did." He replied lamely, ringing his hands.

"That's ridiculous, Kakashi. Of course I wanted to see you. You're my friend." She said, wrapping her arms around him in a hug after she had sat the puppy and her things down next to her.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized again. He swallowed. "I didn-

He was surprised when Rin's hand connected with the side of his head, opposite of his wounded eye, knocking him slightly off balance.

"Stop apologizing." She demanded. "I swear, if you apologize one more time for something_ I_ wanted to do for you in the first place then I'm not going to give you the cake in my bag."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Yeah, I brought cake. I know you don't much care for sweets, but 'Kashi it's really good."

"No. Not the cake. You wanted to do it for me?"

"Yeah. It wasn't like you raped me. I wanted it too. Sure as hell beat sleeping." She added, smiling at the look in Kakashi's revealed eye. She reached up and pulled his mask off of his face. He held his breath at the serious look on her face. Rin was rarely serious. "Look," She said gently. "You aren't the only one hurting. You weren't the only one who wanted to escape. I wanted it too" She explained.".- I just wanted to help you, Kakashi. It was frustrating seeing you like that."

"You're not mad?" He asked. He felt like he deserved to be stabbed through the chest with a kunai. He felt like he needed to be punished.

"The only thing I'm mad about is you avoiding me." She said gently, releasing his mask so he could put it back on his face. She sat down next to the bank like he had only a few minutes ago. He followed suit. "It's pretty isn't it?" She asked him as she leaned on his shoulder.

"Are you sure you're all right? You're not mad at me?" He asked as he stiffened when he felt her touch.

"If I was mad would I have brought cake?" She asked, sitting up and reaching for her almost forgotten bag. She had stopped by the bakery and bought a huge piece of chocolate mud slide cake. Kakashi had gotten distracted by Akamaru hiding down behind a tall weed, getting ready to pounce on a grass hopper as she reached in and produced the chocolate treasure.

"-Here." She said, nudging him with her elbow to get his attention.

He took the hefty piece of cake from her and Akamaru came over and climbed into her lap. "-Akamaru, I presume?" He asked before he took a bite.

"Yeah, that's 'Kamaru. He just turned three weeks old."

"Only three?"

"Yeah. I've got his bottles and stuff in the bag. Tsume wanted me to go ahead and take him even though he's still a little young. Are you goin' to eat it or not?"

"Oh, yeah." He said, before turning his attention back to the cake and taking a bite of it. His stomach growled in appreciation. It was quite possibly the best cake he had ever had. She was right like always. It was good. He mumbled a thanks before he resumed stuffing his face. He felt his spirit lighten as he heard her giggling in amusement.

He turned back towards the river as she laid her head back down on his shoulder. He swallowed and looked down at her, noticing the daisy chain that was around her neck. "What's that?" He asked, poking it lightly.

"A daisy chain. One of my patients made it for me. It's for good luck." She said, twirling it between her fingers, conveniently forgetting to tell him the luck was for her baby. She cleared her throat. " 'Kashi, we have to talk about something. There's something I need to tell you."

"What?" He asked before he took another bite to show he was paying attention.

"You know about the Nakaue clan, right?"

"Yeah, they're a Fire clan, nobles. They're kind of weird though. They breed with other clans so you never know what Nakaue has what ability. There's really no individual trait to the clan. No real bloodline."

"Yeah. I went to Sensei's office today. He was telling me about the war treaty."

"Since when did he talk to you about his Hokage duties?" Kakashi asked, getting suspicious.

"Since it included me. I've agreed to surrogacy for the Nakaue's." She said, quickly completely forgetting what she had rehearsed to tell him to make that sound any better..

He swallowed thickly and laid the plate down on the grass next to him before looking at her with a certain intent. Almost like an intent to make her take her words back. She absently tightened her grip on Akamaru who had climbed into her lap. She felt her hands start to shake as the fear of Kakashi's reaction came back. She was fairly sure that he didn't know about the death rate among the Nakaue child-bearers. She was also fairly confident it was the medicine there and that as long as she stayed in Konoha she would be fine.

"What?" He asked, his revealed eye fixed on her, giving her the chills.

I've agreed to surrogacy for the Nakaue's. It's a part of the Cold War peace treaty."

"Tell them no." He told her again.

"I can't Kakashi. The deal's already been made." She told him, studying his features for any clue to his reaction.

"They can't take you!" He said rather loudly. His tone was mean, mean enough to cause her to shy away and Akamaru to whimper in fear. "Tell them no!"

"I can't!" She told him, finding her voice. "What? You don't understand that a deal's a deal?! I figured that you would at least understand that!" She yelled, feeling slightly betrayed.

She knew that he would take it badly, but he hadn't even given her the chance to explain.

"What happened?! Did they single you out?! The clan?! What happened, Rin?! What about the Inuzuka clan makes it good enough for the Nakaue's?" He asked, wanting the answer to all five of his questions and not getting it fast enough.

"Yeah! Believe it or not, _my_ clan is really valuable! People respect _my_ clan!" She screamed back.

He'd upset her but didn't pull back from their fight. He hadn't meant the Inuzuka's weren't worth it. They were strong on the battlefield and he wanted an Inuzuka with him rather than against him. He didn't want the Inuzuka bloodline in the Nakaue clan. He didn't want _Rin_ in the Nakaue clan. The idea of her bearing some strange man's child upset him. He didn't want anyone to touch her, especially the Nakaue's. He was supposed to protect her, damn it.

"You're not old enough!" He growled, unwilling to lose the argument.

"I'm of age in _my_ clan!" She said gathering her things and Akamaru."- and I am certainly not a child." She spat before stomping off in the direction of her house, her bags and the puppy in tow.

He sat back down on the bank, picking his cake back up when he spotted the daisy chain. It must have broke off during their argument. He carefully picked up the necklace, twirling it between his fingers. He felt the huge wave of guilt wash over him.

Why had he done that? She had come to him undoubtedly seeking solace and understanding. She wanted the same thing in return that she gave him every time he needed it and he had been selfish enough to deny her that. She went through great lengths to help him through whatever he was going through. Whatever she _was_ handling, she probably couldn't do it all alone. It probably scared the hell out of her. The idea of having a baby for the Nakaue's: having a baby at all. She needed his support and he hadn't given it to her.

What the hell was he thinking?

* * *

He stopped by his apartment after he finished the cake Rin had given him. He got a piece of paper and a pen and scribbled out a note before he headed out for Rin's place. 

He wasn't stupid. He wasn't going to try to get her to let him in. He had no false fallacy that she would let him in her home after that fight. Rin didn't fight without a reason and didn't quickly forget. She was a lot like him.

Right now, he wasn't asking for that. He just want to return the good luck charm to her. She needed it more than he did. It was rightfully hers anyway.

He laid the daisy chain down on her front porch with a neatly folded piece of paper. He knocked on her door and then disappeared within a cloud of smoke.

She opened the door, wiping the tears roughly out of her eyes. Damn Kakashi for this. She realized no one was there and started to shut the door before the daisy chain caught her eye. She picked it up along with the paper. She opened it carefully, not wanting to tear the corners. She recognized the handwriting as Kakashi's.

Rin,

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it.

Come talk to me when you're ready. I promise I'll listen. You know where I am.

Kakashi


	7. You Never Know

Thanks to all my reviewers. You all rock!

* * *

Rin closed the door softly and sat the note and the daisy chain on the table. She had just fed Akamaru and he had dropped off to sleep, so now would be a good time and go make up with Kakashi.

She just wasn't up to facing him right now. She had been feeling sick all day today anyway. It was why she hadn't gotten herself any cake when she had stopped by the bakery to buy Kakashi a piece. It always turned out like this for them lately. Just as soon as they made up they would fight all over again. It had never been this hard to hold it together before. She and Kakashi never fought like this.

She missed the days of her being the peacemaker for Kakashi and Obito. She didn't like to be one of the fighters. She hated it really. She was a medic for a reason.

All of a sudden, a wave of nausea struck her and she bolted for the bathroom. She had just barely made it when her stomach did a one-eighty and she threw up things she didn't even remember eating. She coughed awkwardly and tried to catch her breath right before she felt the need to retch again.

God, this sucked.

Arashi headed towards Rin's house after he had adjourned the bi-monthly Jounin meeting. Kakashi and Rin had both been absent and he was curious as to why. Rin might have forgotten, but Kakashi never forgot to attend meetings.

He worried for both of his students. They had both been through so much in the past few months and he had to admit to himself that he hadn't been there for them. He had holed himself up to deal with his pain and his guilt. He hadn't given much thought to that Kakashi and Rin felt even more guilty and felt even more pain. They watched him die. They were there with him in his last minutes as his team mates and as his friends.

Kakashi was the one who had to pull Rin away so they wouldn't get killed in the rock slide.

They went through all of that and not even twenty-four hours afterwards had been through very forceful interrogations. Rin had broken down in them. Rin was a strong girl, but having to relive the worst experience of her life had made her crumble.

He watched her through the glass, never feeling more helpless as he watched his kunochi student cry with no one there to sooth her.

He vowed that he would never leave either of them to suffer like that again. Kakashi especially, since he had been through the most. He doubted no one had ever been there for the boy when he needed them to be, excluding Rin. He was cautious of others promises and he had every right to be. Every adult Kakashi had ever come to trust had failed or betrayed him completely.

And he could now be added to the list. Kakashi's own Sensei had failed him.

Rin as optimistic as she may be, needed him too. She had been informed of the risks that her "duty to Konoha" included. She could die giving birth to the Nakaue's child if she made it to term at all. She wasn't even sixteen yet and he had signed her willingly away to a foreign stranger in the name of trade. He felt absolutely disgusted with himself about that for days.

She had always been the closest to him. It was hard not to be with her friendly disposition. She didn't have the big plans that Obito and Kakashi did, half the time she didn't know what she was going to be doing tomorrow. She had lost her parents at a very early age and he had come to adopt her as his own daughter. He had been there to attend her Medic Graduation in place of her father when she asked him to.

He had avoided her like the plague since she was the only one of the two who was really well enough to try to hunt him down. He felt like he didn't deserve their company. He felt like he had betrayed them and that they should be just as disgusted as he was with him. He had never put in any thought to that they might need him.

He was going to try and make up for that now. He was going to try and apologize to the both of them. He wanted to be in their lives again. He wanted their relationship to be like it used to be but he would settle for what they gave him.

He knocked on the door of Rin's apartment. She didn't answer. He tried the doorknob to find it was unlocked and took his chances, deciding to go in.

No one was in the first rooms, and then he heard what sounded like gagging coming from Rin's room. He followed the noise and found her in the bathroom, looking rather pale and miserable as she retched yet again.

He was going to head into the bathroom when she hurled a very large object at him. "Go away, Kakashi!" She yelled as best she could, not having seen him and only hearing footsteps.

An uneasy smile found its way to his face. They must be in a fight or something. He took a step forward towards her and rested a hand on her back, trying to be comforting. "I'm not Kakashi, Rin. It's me Arashi-Sensei." He told her gently.

She looked embarrassed that he saw her sick. He smiled at her. "Contrary to popular belief, Rin, Medic's get sick too."

She wished she was sick. She hoped she was sick.

It'd been about a week since she had seen Kakashi last. She was getting ready to leave the Hospital when the Assistant told her that there was someone outside waiting for her. She had originally thought it was Kakashi and went out to see who had come to see her. She was disappointed when she found Collin Nakaue instead of Kakashi.

"Lady Inuzuka said you get off at about this time. I was hoping that maybe you and I could get some dinner and talk some." He said.

"Y'know, I've really got some other things to be doing.- " She tried to explain.

"It's just dinner, Rin. I know that you feel intimidated by me, but I'm really not that bad of a person."

"You don't know me, Mr. Nakaue."

"Oh, please, call me Collin."

"Collin, as I was saying-

"Are you not the least bit interested? Surely we can find something to talk about since we're having a child together and all."

This was the first time she had really taken a good look at him. She bit her lip. He looked so much like Obito, only his skin was two or three shades darker. She wondered why she had never noticed that before. He had the same raven black hair. The same dark, intelligent, eyes though she doubted that they were Sharingan eyes. He was a very attractive man, she had to admit. She still didn't understand what he saw in her. She still wished he had never come in to her life, but he had and it was time to get some answers.

"Okay. Where did you have in mind?"

"Maybe the Diner down the street?"

She smiled. She loved that place. "Okay. Just let me finish closing the clinic."

They had talked some. He told her that he was born of a Clan that had the ability to control Chakra into Electric volts and waves and were very dangerous people. He was born under a treaty that the Nakaue's would let the clan live if they bore a child for them. He had never known his mother and said that he would like to change that for his children. She agreed, saying that it would be fine for them to work out some kind of custody agreement since they were not ever going to get married. He also agreed that the ways that the Nakaue Clan went about getting children were wrong and he had every intention of changing it when he became Head of the Clan. He told her that he thought that she was beautiful. She had blushed unwillingly and thanked him for the compliment.

Before she knew it they were both back at her apartment

The whole time, she felt uncomfortable. She felt like she was sleeping with a stranger. She felt uncomfortable with the way he kissed and the way he touched her. She didn't like the way he talked during it. The entire thing was just felt wrong.

She felt like what they were doing was wrong, but she didn't say anything.

Afterwards, he had dressed and kissed her goodbye before he left. She took a three-hour shower, feeling completely filthy.

Now she sat in front of her Sensei, throwing up like a sick dog, completely embarrassed. He held her hair back away from her face and offered a comforting smile. She had missed him. She had been so caught up in keeping Kakashi together that she hadn't really had a chance to talk to him face to face about the mission. He wouldn't give her the chance. He always dismissed her attempts to make plans with him, saying that he had a meeting or another plan. She didn't blame him. She missed him, but didn't blame him for not wanting to be around them. It had to have been hard.

"Rin, you're not pregnant yet are you?" He asked, gently removing a stray hair from her face, drawing it back into the pony tail he was holding.

"I don't know Sensei," She told him, wiping her mouth on a washcloth he had handed her.

"Feel better?" He asked as she sat up some, flushing the toilet.

"Yeah, some." He helped her up and got her in bed. "Thanks, Sensei. Sorry I couldn't be more company." She apologized.

"Don't be sorry. Is there anything I can get you?" He asked, brushing some hair out of her face.

"No, Sensei, you don't have to." She tried to reason.

"Yes, I do. Do you have any tea? I think some hot tea would help."

"Yeah, it's in the kitchen." She told him.

He brewed them both some hot tea and he visited with her. She talked about her job and Akamaru. They both made a huge point to avoid the Nakaue subject and the mission. She didn't want to talk about either of them. She felt bad enough physically and she didn't want the guilt of knowing that she had guilt tripped her Sensei.

* * *

Kakashi opened the door and Asuma was standing at his front door. He had been good friends with Asuma since they had met in the academy. They were a lot alike. They were honored for things they weren't even responsible for, being children of the Third Hokage and Konoha's White Fang. They both despised it. Asuma had mentioned on more than one occasion that he was going to leave this town and do something actually worth honoring, but Kakashi didn't see Asuma staying out of Konoha for long.

"Hey, man." Asuma greeted through his cigarette.

"Hey." Kakashi said, standing to the side to let him in.

"Just dropping by to see how you were. I just got back from my mission and I am wiped out." He said, taking a seat on the couch.

"How'd it go?" Kakashi asked, shutting the door.

"Fine. We got the job done." Asuma looked around. "Where's Rin at?"

"We had a fight. She's pissed at me right now."

"You guys hada fight?" He asked, rather surprised. In the years he had known both Rin and Kakashi, they never fought.

"Yeah."

"About what? That thing with Nakaue?" He guessed.

"How do you know about that?" Kakashi asked. Did she tell everybody in the village besides him?

He shrugged. "Eh, Kurenai was telling me about it. 'Said that she took him home with her a few nights ago. She better watch her ass or people are gonna start taking her for the town slut or something." He said taking a drag of the cigarette. "I mean, he's an ambassador and everything. I thought that she was smart enough to not fuck him. They could both get in a lot of trouble, y'know."

It was obvious he didn't know the whole story. Kakashi didn't think it was his place to fill Asuma in either. He hadn't gotten his head around the whole thing himself anyway.

He looked over and saw Asuma was rolling a joint. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow. That was new. He didn't know that Asuma had been smoking weed. Asuma sensed Kakashi looking at him and smirked at the look in his revealed eye.

"What? You want one? There's plenty here. I got it on the way back home." He said proudly before lighting the joint. "Y'know. I think you could use this." He said, tossing the sandwich bag of marijuana to him. "Here."

Kakashi didn't say anything as he rolled himself a joint expertly. It hadn't been his first time either.

It was times like this when Kakashi was more than glad Asuma was around. They didn't have much conversation that wasn't needed but were there for the other all the same. Sometimes that was exactly what the other needed was just the company. He lit it and took a long drag before saying something. "You know that the Third would kill you if he knew that you brought drugs in the gates right?" He asked, sarcastically.

"I don't care." Asuma said in his devil-may-care-but-I-sure-as-hell-don't way before taking another drag.


	8. TrainWrecked Life

**Warning: **

**Train wreck chapter, proceed with caution!**

Kakashi had fallen asleep on his couch not long after he had put out his joint. He had forgotten how nice it was to be on a different level from the world and his problems. How he had gone this long, he would never know. It had to have been about a year and a half since the last time he had been high. Asuma had made the right call, it was a good idea. He had fallen asleep feeling wonderfully numb to anything and it was the best gift anyone could have given him.

It was one of the very few times that he hadn't had a nightmare or something similar.

It was the first time in a long time, since his night with Rin, that he had a decent night of sleep.

It ended rather harshly, unfortunately. He had been startled awake by a rather vicious knock on his door.

He jumped up from the couch to answer the door and nearly tripped over Asuma who had apparently fallen asleep on the floor. He still had the remote clutched in his hand and the bag of weed laying above his head.

"Kakashi! Open up!" He heard his intruder yell from the opposite side of the door as he advanced towards it.

He heard Asuma jump awake behind him. He scrambled for his half empty bag of weed and stuff it in his Jounin vest just in case it was an ANBU at the door. ANBU would rat him out to his father, the third Hokage, even though that the Third was technically relieved of his duties.

Kakashi swung the door open after quickly taking the chain lock off the door. He could tell from the turbulent knocks on the door that something was wrong. He knew that someone was sick or dying: or he had an important impossible mission that would wind up with him sick or dying.

Either way, it wasn't good.

He swung the door open and saw an Inuzuka clan member. He stood about two inches taller than Kakashi and he was about his age. Kakashi remembered seeing him at the Thanksgiving celebration last year that Rin had dragged him to. She hadn't wanted him to be alone on Thanksgiving. He was unsettled by the worried look on his face. His fears were about to be confirmed. Something definitely happened to Rin or they wouldn't have sent an Inuzuka.

"You have to come to the Hospital. " He said weakly and with tears in his eyes. You could tell that he was worried sick. He was not giving any hope to Kakashi's mind eye about what was going on.

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, trying to keep his cool, and not doing so well as his throat tightened and his voice slightly cracked.

"It's Rin. Come on you have to hurry. She's in the Hospital." He said motioning towards the hospital, desperate for Kakashi to move.

Asuma knew he wasn't the smartest guy in the world. He didn't need to be to know what was going through Kakashi's mind. He knew that Kakashi was thinking about what happened to his other team mate, and was thinking he was going to lose Rin too. He grimaced, thinking about what would happen if something happened to Rin.

Asuma had watched Kakashi slowly fall apart over the past year.

Rin was the last thing holding him together, if anything happened to her it was over for Kakashi.

Asuma pointed towards the door and the bewildered Inuzuka. "You won't lose her, Kakashi." He reassured. "Go on. Everything'll be okay."

He put his vest on and followed the Inuzuka to the Hospital.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked as they ran to the Hospital at full speed.

"Lord Arashi-, found Rin passed out in her apartment-, that's all I know."

"Great."

* * *

Four hours later, Kakashi was by Rin's bedside. 

He'd arrived ten minutes after the Inuzuka had been sent for him. He'd been with her for four hours so far, but it felt like he had been there for weeks.

She was in the hospital, sound asleep in the room they admitted her to. It was one that was close to the nurse station so someone could hear her if she needed someone, which was a good thing all things considered.

She'd been admitted for the night so they could give her stable fluids for dehydration, but that wasn't the worst of it.

She looked so weak and helpless lying there in the hospital bed. It hurt more seeing her like that than if he had been hospitalized himself. He gently picked her hand up, being very careful of the needle in the back of it as cradled it in his. She wasn't even awake yet, and part of him hoped she wouldn't. It would be easier for her that way.

He slumped down in his chair, resting his elbows on the side of her bed thinking about what had happened. The news that she would receive would kill her. It broke something in Kakashi's heart when he had heard the news. He was so afraid that some one had attacked her, that someone had harmed her, but the real diagnosis wasn't much better.

She lost the baby. She was two weeks pregnant.

He couldn't help but feel like this was his fault. The fight that he provoked probably caused the stress that caused her to lose the baby. The hardest part would be to tell her, not accepting it.

He's already made the decision that he would be the one to do it. He didn't want to tell her, but he would because he was the one she trusted. He was her team mate. Team mates did anything for one another. Even tell them things that would break their hearts. He'd be there for her this time, just like she would be for him. This time, he wouldn't mess up. He'd do right by her for once in the entire time they had known each other.

Things were different now.

He rubbed his eyes, still feeling slightly high from last night as he thought about the words he would use to tell her.

He was mentally bracing himself when he was interrupted. Arashi-Sensei came into the room.

He was in his Hokage robes, like he was here on official business.

He looked at Kakashi with a sad look.

It felt like he was seeing a stranger he once knew but couldn't remember. This was the first time Kakashi ever really remembered seeing his Sensei since the accident six months ago. Kakashi didn't know what to feel. He wanted to be angry. Arashi-Sensei had only come to check on him once when he was admitted to the Hospital. Once.

He didn't come and check on him at all when he was discharged. He didn't bother to see him when he was having trouble with infections. He didn't even check on him when he had missed the Jounin meetings _six_ times.

It was like he didn't care.

Kakashi wanted so desperately to be angry. He felt like he deserved to be, but he wasn't.

"Hello, Kakashi." The older man greeted with the warm smile he'd once taken comfort in.

"Sensei." Kakashi said with a nod of his head.

"How's she doin'?" He asked gently, his eyes softening as he shifted his gaze from Kakashi to Rin.

"Still no change." He said. "I know that this is gonna sound really bad, but I wish she could just stay asleep." He confessed. "This will _kill_ her. How am I supposed to tell her that-?" Kakashi couldn't bring himself to finish.

"You don't, Kakashi." He said, rather vaguely, looking down at the floor.

"What?" He asked, looking at the older man for some kind of explanation.

"I will. I'll do it." He explained.

"No. Sensei-

"I'll do it, Kakashi. **End** of the discussion." He said, his voice very stern and strong- commanding..

"You can't just come in here and command me after abandoning us for _six_ and a half months!" He said, keeping his voice low. "I don't care if you are Hokage."

"You can't just roll a joint any time you feel like it either." He said with a slight smirk, pulling up a chair on the other side of the bed.

Kakashi went silent after that. He didn't have a come back for that one, and his head was starting to hurt. He didn't want to fight and didn't have the energy to go tooth and nail anyway.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry." He apologized. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you and Rin after Obito died. I guess, I just felt like I didn't deserve to be around you guys. I'm your _Sensei_. No matter what you say, what happened to Obito was _my_ fault. It was _my_ fault you were hurt and it's _my_ fault what's happened to Rin." He suddenly cracked a smile, the smile people get when they remember an old time they would die to get back. "When you were placed in my team three years ago it was my place to protect you. That is the _one_ thing a Sensei is supposed to do no matter what. Protect their pupils." He said, swallowing before he continued. "-and sometimes, I think that because I couldn't protect you guys I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to protect this Village." He confessed to his student.

The apology didn't make Kakashi feel any better. It just revealed that his Sensei wasn't invincible like he had once thought. When he was thirteen, Kakashi thought that he had met the closest thing to God that he ever was going to. He was taught by the Ero-Sennin, taught by the Third Hokage. He was at the top of his class at everything. He had an outstanding amount of Chakra and an incredible amount of speed. He was what every shinobi hoped to be.

He'd become one the Hokage one of the greatest Villages ever. He was the greatest man Kakashi ever knew. He was the strongest man Kakashi ever knew.

But here he sat before Kakashi, pouring his heart out.

"I forgive you, Sensei. For everything." He said, swallowing to keep the tears from falling.

"I appreciate that, Kakashi." He said, giving him a soft smile.

"What happened to Rin?" He asked, needing a solid answer. The Medical staff only knew what had happened to her physically_." She lost the baby.", _wasn't a satisfying answer for Kakashi. "You were there, weren't you?"

The Hokage gave a small nod before answering. "Well, we were talking, and-

_He had come back with their hot tea, and sat at the foot of her bed. They talked about the puppy that he had seen asleep in the corner in the living room. He had just thought how much better he felt than before. The tension he had felt on the way over here about the way she would react had been relieved. She was talking about a patient that had made her a daisy chain for luck when she had doubled over in pain,. She dropped her mug of tea on the floor. The glass shattered all over the floor and the tea went everywhere. _

_It almost made him jump, Rin very rarely dropped things. She treated everything like medical supplies, like they were expensive and hard to replace.  
_

_"Rin? Are you okay?" He asked. Her face was distorted with pain. He sat his mug down and touched her arm, trying to get her attention so she would tell him what was wrong._

_"It hurts, Sensei. My stomach..." She told him as she wrapped her arms around it tightly.  
_

_"Okay, it's okay." He soothed. When he glanced down, he saw the blood seeping into the blankets right as Rin let out a cry of pain. "Okay, come on, let's go to the Hospital." He said as he wrapped her in a blanket that hadn't been bled on and picked her up, instantly transporting them to the Hospital._

"Next thing I know, they're telling me that Rin had a miscarriage and she's dehydrated. Asked me to sign the papers to keep her overnight for stable fluids." He told Kakashi, finishing his story.

There was a knock on the door and Tsume Inuzuka stepped in the room. "Lord Hokage, could I speak with you for a minute?" She asked respectfully.

"Of course." He said, getting up. He put a hand on Kakashi's shoulder, causing him to look up at his teacher. "Come and get me if she wakes up while I'm gone."

Kakashi nodded and watched the two leave before turning his attention back towards Rin.

"I'm sure you've heard the news." Arashi started.

"Yes." She replied before exhaling deeply. "How did this happen? Did she know she was pregnant?"

"No." Arashi told her.

"How do you know?" She asked, curiously, folding her arms across her chest.

"Because when I found her she was already sick, and I asked her and she said she didn't know." He explained to her.

"How did I let this happen to her?" She wondered aloud. "Her mother trusted me with her and I actually agreed to someone using her for a surrogate." She shook her head. "What was I thinking?"

"This isn't your fault." He told her, catching her elbow and making her turn around to face him. "This was an accident." He told her sternly, causing her to nod slightly in agreement with the leader of her beloved Village. "We need to consider the possibility that she may not be able to have children." He started. "And if that's true than we're going to have to try something else with the Nakaue's, or go ahead and accept the Cold War."

"I know." Tsume agreed, resting her head in her hands.

As if she knew their conversation was about her, Rin began to stir. The movement under his hand caught Kakashi off guard and he jumped a little.

He looked up and saw her eyes open.

"Kakashi," She said softly with a smile.

"Hey, Rin." He said as calmly as he could. He'd never been happier to see someone awake before until he remembered why she was here. The guilt settled in his gut. He tried to find a way to voice what had happened, but couldn't find the words.

He decided that maybe Arashi-Sensei would be better suited to do this than him. He couldn't tell her what happened, he felt guilty thinking about it and apparently cast in his eye too.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, cocking her head to the side.

"How do you feel?" He asked, changing the subject.

"A little sore." She exhaled slowly. "Actually, a lot sore." She said, bringing a hand up to rest on her stomach, grimacing under just her hands weight. "Why am I in the Hospital?" She asked after looking around the white sterile room. 'Kashi, what happened?" She asked, before looking around the room. "Where's 'Kamaru?"

She truly was an Inuzuka, lying in the hospital with an I.V. in her arm and she was worried about her dog.

"He's still at your house, " Kakashi said. "Lady Inuzuka and Arashi-Sensei are here. I'm gonna go get them."

"Hand me my chart will you? I wanna see it. "She asked him, pointing at the clip board the was stationed in a blue hanging basket on the back of the door.

He shook his head. "No, Rin." He told her hoarsely. "You don't need to see it."

She didn't understand why he wouldn't go ahead and tell her what had happened. He opened the door and peaked his head outside and saw Sensei and Lady Inuzuka talking to the left.

He cleared his throat for their attention. "Rin's awake." He informed.

They rushed in and Lady Inuzuka went straight to Rin's bedside. "Hey, baby." She greeted with a grateful smile. "How do you feel?" She asked cautiously, putting a hand to Rin's forehead and checking her temperature.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." She reassured in a weak voice. "Tsume, would you go to my place and feed 'Kamaru? He needs to be fed. There's an extra key in the potted plant next to the door."

"I'll make sure someone does it, honey. There's something you need to know first." She said before clearing her throat.

"What?" She asked. Her eyes saddening at the look in Tsume's eye. "What's wrong?" She asked again.

"Rin. You lost the baby." She told her in the voice people used for children, gently petting her hair.

"The." She stopped abruptly, realizing what Tsume was talking about. Her shaking fingers came up to cover her mouth, her eyes wielding tears "Oh my god..." She whispered.

Kakashi felt his heart jump in his chest when she suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably. Tsume tried to comfort her, but to no avail. Arashi-Sensei just took a step closer to her, trying to come up with any comforting words. It wasn't working, and having the two most important adults in her life fuss over her wasn't helping her.

Kakashi wormed his way in between the adults and wrapped his arms around her slowly, hugging her tight. She held on to him for dear life like she was afraid he would let go of her. Kakashi exhaled slowly as he tightened his grip on her. Kakashi felt his heart ache in his chest for his team mate. For his friend and for anything else she was to him.

As much of what Kakashi had been through in the past year, he hadn't literally lost a part of himself or a part of someone else.

"It's okay. Rin, It's okay." He tried to soothe.

"No it's not. It's not okay." She said as another sob swelled in her chest. "It's not okay.."

Kakashi tightened his grip on her, bringing her even closer to him if it was possible. He wanted to cry with her. He wouldn't because she needed him to just hold her and not cry even though it killed him to see her like this. So weak and fragile. Everything that she wasn't.

Tsume stood up and kissed her on the head, running her fingers through Rin's hair. "I'm gonna go ahead and go feed Akamaru, honey. I'll be back soon. I love you."

"Thanks." She mumbled against Kakashi's chest. "Love you too."

Arashi-Sensei ran a hand up her arm, rubbing her arm comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Rin." He whispered. He then shifted his gaze to Kakashi before saying he'd go get them something to drink, mainly to leave the two alone for a moment. Kakashi seemed to be the only thing that was able to bring her any real comfort.

Rin's throat was raw and her stomach was cramping like mad. Her head spun with the news. She was pregnant. **Was**. She lost the baby. She lost Collin Nakaue's child. She lost her child. The lesser was the most upsetting part. She erupted into a coughing fit as sorrow threatened to drown her. She just wanted to cry until she couldn't breathe anymore. She could hear Kakashi's heart beating like a wild bird caught in a cage as he tried to comfort her any way possible.

Suddenly, Kakashi shifted above her and she thought he was pulling away. She launched herself at him, pulling him closer than before. "No! Kakashi, please don't leave." She pleaded. "Don' leave."

"I'm not." He whispered. "I'm not going any where. I swear. I promise."

In that exact moment, the two of them were a team again. The team they were before any of this happened. The team that won against any and all odds. The team that couldn't be separated.

For the moment, they were Team Arashi again, and that was something they could both take comfort in.

* * *

A man stopped Arashi in the hall way as he was returning with their drinks. 

"Lord Hokage." He said, putting a hand out to stop the older man.

"Yes?"

He noted how similar he looked to Obito. It was amazing really. He could pass for an Uchiha. He had the same color of raven black hair and the same dark intelligent eyes. He was taller than Obito by at least a foot, but that was because of age. He was tanner than Obito had ever hoped to be. It was then that he spotted his Village head band, tied snugly against his upper arm. He was from the Land of Fire, the only Land of Fire shinobi in Konoha right now where the Nakaue's.

This was Collin Nakaue. The man he and Tsume had sold Rin to.

"Do you know what room Rin is in? The medics won't tell me anything, I'm not family."

"She's a little distraught right now, Mr. Nakaue. She's been through a lot." He told him.

"What happened?" He asked, worriedly.

"She lost the baby." He informed.

"Can I see her?" He asked after a minute, undoubtedly getting his head around the news. He seemed saddened by the news. It brought comfort to Arashi. He wanted this man to feel at least a fraction of what Rin felt.

Arashi thought before he spoke. She had been too upset when he had left for any company, let alone the man by who the child had been fathered. She would upset herself further if she saw him right now and that was the last thing he wanted for his student. To ask this of her would be too much, like it had been her whole life. He would set things right from now on.

He exhaled before answering. "I'm sorry. No. Not right now. You're the last thing she needs."

* * *

Things will start looking up from here, I swear! 

Thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter!


	9. It Hurts to Protect You

**A/N: Thanks to Kiss and Cry, dong-chun-mei, Gblossom21, -Kai Isolated-, and 3karen3 for reviewing the last chappie!**

Rin had finally exhausted herself and fallen back asleep, taking Kakashi along with her. She was cradled against his chest and he had one arm draped over her waist, holding her in place so neither of them would fall off of the Hospital bed. She had her free hand tangled in the hair on the back of his head. Every time Kakashi would shift in his sleep, Rin's hand would tighten and wouldn't relax Kakashi stopped moving. Despite the fact they were crammed together, they both looked comfortable and content.

Arashi-Sensei had come back to this sight after excusing himself to talk to someone on the phone, claiming it was one of the Higher powers in the Village Hidden in the Sand and he had no choice but to take it.

It was really his Genin Team Mate, Aiko.

She had called him on _this _day of all days when they hadn't spoken in years. Four years, to be exact. He didn't have the guts to ignore her, knowing that she was possibly in some kind of trouble. She usually only called when something was horribly wrong, an example of that being when she owed nearly two hundred thousand dollars to one of the 'Kage's and had asked for his help. It was largely why the Village was in debt. That and the ever on going wars against his Village that the Sand seemed to orchestrate without any warning.

She called this time wondering if it was okay with him if she came back to the Village for awhile and if he would hold a meeting with her. There was something she needed to talk to him about personally and that it couldn't be done over the phone.

He hated to admit this to himself, but his heart swelled at just the sound of her voice. She had been the love of his life when they were together. They had been in a serious relationship for about a year and a half after he had crushed on her during their whole career as Gennin and Chuunin. She had a little more of a trust issue than he did, but he would have been foolish enough to wait forever.

He had proposed to her after a little over six months of living together but she declined.

It wasn't long after that when they begin to drift apart, mostly do to her pushing him away and avoiding him like the plague. It wasn't long after that when Jiraiya-Sensei left claiming he was bored with the small town. She left exactly a month after that, leaving him in the Village alone.

He probably owed his Hokage career to her. After she left he focused more and more on his career to escape the lonliness of being the only one left of his team and that was when he practically catapulted to Hokage.

No matter what happened between the two of them, he would never wish bad upon her.

He hoped that just for once she came home just to see him and how he was doing.

"Arashi." He heard the familiar voice of his Sensei call to him softly. He looked over towards the door and saw Jiraiya himself standing in the doorway. "Come out here for a minute. I want to talk to you." He said in a voice barely above a whisper so he wouldn't wake Rin or Kakashi.

Arashi exhaled slowly as he followed Jiraiya out into the hallway. The concerned look on Jiraiya face didn't go unnoticed.

"It's terrible what's happened to the girl." He told Arashi. "She gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. She'll be fine." He said before he swallowed. "Why are you here? It's about Aiko isn't it?"

"The Village has suffered because of that girl, Arashi, and you know it. If she comes asking for money, tell her no." He warned.

"Your answer to that question is that easy?" He asked, looking up at Jiraiya, his cerulean blue eyes tied in confusion. "You never worry about her?" He asked in a cracked voice.

"No." He said strongly with a small shake of his head. " No. I don't. She's a grown woman and she can make her own choices. Those choices shouldn't be paid for by the Village. You know that." He affirmed, knowing that Arashi needed to hear that as much as Jiraiya himself did.

"He would have killed her if I hadn't, Sensei." He reminded him softly.

"You can't keep saving her, Arashi. If you do, you'll end up being the one killed. You're already in a crunch for cash. You've agreed that your Kunoichi have this foreign Shinobi's _child_." He told Arashi like he couldn't believe he'd actually done it. He sounded almost ashamed of him. "That girl would do anything for you, Arashi. But it's another thing entirely to ask so much of her. Especially after-

"Shut up, Jiraiya-Sensei." He growled. "You say these things like I don't already know! I know what I've done to my students. I know that I was never meant to be a Sensei! I know all of that, okay?"

"Okay." Jiraiya told him, softly, resting a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "It's okay. I know how much you've been through. I know that this is hard to hear, but you have to put the needs of the Village above Aiko." He said, knowing that he was getting through to his student, maybe even a little too hard. "Promise me that you will?"

He didn't say anything, but Jiraiya knew what his answer would be anyway. "Be careful, Arashi." He said before walking away as to let his words sink in. He would make the right choice. He had too.

"Sensei?" A tired voice asked behind him.

He turned around quickly to see Kakashi standing behind him. "Kakashi? Are you okay?" He asked, worriedly.

"Who was that?" He asked, looking past Arashi and physically tensing. Kakashi didn't take kindly to strangers, especially when he was in high stress situations.

"Jiraiya. One of the Sannin. He's here to see Tsunade." He lied. He didn't need to worry Kakashi or it might cause damage to his healing eye which looked in need of new bandaging anyway. "Have you had your eyes looked at today?" He questioned.

Kakashi shook his head. "No."

"Take care of it. I'll stay with Rin." He said as he walked back into the room, not wanting to leave Rin alone even for a second. He didn't hear Kakashi come back in so he assumed he was doing as he was told for once. He sat down in the chair beside the bed, watching Rin intently. He had never meant to hurt her. He had never meant to hurt anyone, but his own hand or not, he had physically and mentally scared his beloved students for the rest of their lives. He was swallowed by the guilt that the knowledge created.

Jiraiya was right. He couldn't keep making the Village or his students keep paying for his mistakes. He just didn't know what he was going to do about it. He couldn't even entertain the thought of telling Aiko "no". It was something that he couldn't even imagine, let alone do.

It was at the moment that he began to seriously regret the decision to be Hokage. He wasn't deserving to lead all of these people. Not anymore. He wasn't the man that they elected to be their protector at all.

"Sensei?" He heard a small feminine voice call, breaking him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw Rin's beautiful brown eyes looking at him. They were full of concern. "Go tell them I need some more saline, please?" She asked. "The drip is nearly empty." She observed, looking at the depleted bag on the I.V. pole. "Must be shift change."

"Okay. I'll be right back."

"Where's Kakashi?" She asked abruptly, getting worried by his lack of presence.

He rested his hand on the side of her neck, his fingers curling absently, like he always had when she had needed comforting in the past. "He's getting his eyes taken care of." He reassured. "He'll be back in a minute."

"Will you wait until he's back?" She asked, her eyes fixing on him as she tried to control her breathing so she wouldn't hyperventilate.

"I will never leave you, Rin. I'm always going to take care of you." He said as he kissed her forehead. "Believe me."

Her bottom lip began to quiver as she launched herself into his arms in tears. Her fingers curled at the base of his neck as she sobbed into his shoulder, mumbling her apologies between gasps for air. His grip tightened on the small girl, being careful not to put too much pressure on her abdomen. He rocked her gently. "It's okay, Rin. It's not your fault. This was never your fault." He whispered against her hair. "It was mine."

* * *

Kakashi was sitting in an exam room in the Clinic since it was after hours. He felt so tired and he couldn't wait until Rin was home so his insomnia would disappear. He worried about her now more than ever before. She had never really had anything this scarring happen to her before. She wasn't old enough to remember her mom's death too clearly and it saved her from most of the angst that he had gone through concerning his father. Then again, she could be proud of the way her mother died. Unlike Kakashi, his father committed suicide in front of him when he was eight. 

He had nearly nodded off when a Medic finally came in.

"Hello, Kakashi." She greeted. "Let's have a look at that eye, huh?"

She shined the bright light into his retna like the rest of them did. What was abnormal was when she shrunk back from his eye, scribbling some things down in his chart. "I'll be right back, okay? Don't leave yet."

Kakashi exhaled dramatically. This was just great. A few moments later she came back with another Medic, one Kakashi vaguely remembered seeing in surgery the first time when he had first come back home.

"Kakashi. My name's Tsunade. I need you to look over at the wall on the chart and tell me what color the square on top is." She requested.

Kakashi turned his head to where she was pointing, and recited the color on the very top to be red. She shook her head and informed him that it was orange. He tensed. Something was wrong with his eyes again. It was different this time, because it was in both of his eyes and not just his Sharingan.

She reached into a drawer and pulled out a small hacky sack. "Try to catch this okay?" She told him gently. "One. Two. Three."

Kakashi missed it and it smacked him in the face. He began to get even more worried. He saw it coming. He should have been able to catch it. He caught sharp metal weapons with ease on a regular basis. What was wrong with him? She pulled out a small light and looked into his right eye and then his left.

"Kakashi. I think that you might have some permanent retna nerve damage from the infection." She told him softly.

"Are my eyes deteriorating?"

"Well-

"Are my eyes deteriorating?" He asked again, but firmer.

"Maybe. I haven't run all the tests yet. If it is nerve damage, you could be completely blind by the end of the year." She told him. "It's a rare condition, and I think that we've caught it in time."

"Test them then. I need to know." He told her, seemingly handling the situation.

"Okay."

" You're Tsunade, Right?"

"Yes." She confirmed. "What's the matter?" She asked, seeing the concerned look on his face.

"Isn't Jiraiya supposed to be here with you?"

"No, he left to tell Arashi about his team mate about an hour ago. Rumor has it she's the reason for all of the trouble in Konoha." She said as she left to get the supplies to test Kakashi's eyes, leaving him alone to think.

Why would Arashi-Sensei lie to him about Jiraiya? He wouldn't protect the woman who was to blame for all this, surely. Kakashi wouldn't stand for it. If she was the one who drained Konoha of it's resources than it was her fault what Rin was going through. As a Shinobi of Konoha and as Rin's friend, he wouldn't stand for Arashi-Sensei protecting _her_.

"Okay, 'Kashi." Tsunade said, coming back in. "I need you to look directly into this light." She said as she took a seat in the rolling stool in front of him, turning on a blinding light and putting it up to his eye.


	10. Cease and Dissist

**A/N: Sighs- Sorry for the wait-drops from exhaustion- This chapter might have been a little sped up, but it's here. Thanks too Kiss and Cry, DCM, -Kai Isolated-, and Gblossom21 for reviewing the last chapter! Thanks to my beta, ForLoveorMoney, for making sure it's in proper English.**

* * *

Kakashi had yet _another_ surgery scheduled three weeks from today, which gave him plenty of time to take care of Rin. He didn't have any nerve damage but his optic nerves were inflamed since his retinal blood vessels were constricted. Tsunade, she said her name was, said that he was lucky that they caught it in time or the vessels would have busted, releasing blood into the iris and cornea, and he would have landed himself in the Hospital for at least month **if** he was lucky. Since they had caught it in time, they were going to perform an invasive surgery to unconstrict his blood vessels and with it his field of vision and depth perception would go back to there normal state. Until then, **absolutely** _no_ missions once so ever, as she had put it. She wrote it down in his chart so that the other Medic's would be informed of the situation if he tried to get Medical consent behind her back. She even sent a copy of the file to the Board of Mission Acceptions, the Magistrate, _and_ the Hokage, just incase he got any ideas.

He was totally, utterly, and completely village bound.

It was fine with him for the time being. He wasn't going to leave Rin alone by herself for a while and he wanted to stick around and see what was going to happen with this _Aiko_ situation. He couldn't help but be a little curious about her. Where was she from? How was she connected to Arashi-Sensei?

He walked back towards Rin's room with a brand new bandage for his Sharingan, a reminder about the date of his surgery, and a new pain medication prescription since he was in desperate need of a higher dosage. He wondered if Rin was awake yet. He had done his very best to sneak out of her grip without waking her. She needed all the sleep she could get.

He pushed the door open to see a medic hanging a new I.V bag and Rin wiping the fresh tears from her eyes.

"Rin?" He asked worriedly.

"Hey, Kakashi." She said weakly. " Is that a surgery sheet?" She asked, perking up and worrying about _his _health. He mentally kicked himself for not stashing the papers. He knew good and well she would recognize what they were and that she would worry.

"Yeah. It's nothing." He said, slowly hiding them behind his back.

"Lemme see." She asked, reaching out for them.

"It's a minor surgery on my optic nerve, Rin. It's nothing. They already explained everything to me." He explained while, unfortunately, handing her the papers.

"You've been experiencing color-blindness?" She asked, looking from the paper to him. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't notice." He told her. "It's little though. Like red-orange looks red, small things like that." He lied. The orange he had thought was red had really been a bright and neon orange.

Arashi-Sensei looked at the paper over Rin's shoulder. "Depth perception?" He asked, curiously.

"I couldn't catch a hacky-sack." He explained irritably, more upset with his inability than his Sensei's asking. "You'll be getting some papers that say I'm on mission restriction. Go ahead and sign them, it's better that way." He told him.

"Okay. Thanks for the heads up."

"Ms. Inuzuka," The medic interrupted. "-after this drip is done you have one more and then the treatment will be complete and you can go home in the morning."

"Thanks." Rin said with a sweet smile.

"No problem." She said as she left the room to finish her other patients.

"Kakashi, that's only what she's tested you for. God knows what else is wrong." Rin said, flipping to the next page.

"Rin. It's fine. I'm fine, okay?" He said as he snatched the papers back from her. He folded it and put them in his pocket, indicating the discussion was over.

"Okay." She said, giving in, knowing she had touched a nerve. Kakashi didn't like to be taken care of to the point where it made him feel helpless which she had a constant habit of doing. She wanted to look out for him like he did for her. "Why don't you guys go home and get some sleep? The meds in the I.V. are kicking in and I'm gonna be out soon." She said, yawning.

"I think I'll stick around." Kakashi said, going over to the window and sitting on the large panel. Rin looked at him curiously. "Go ahead and go to sleep. I won't bother you."

"I think I'm going to go ahead and head home. I have an important meeting tomorrow." He said as he leaned over and hugged Rin. "I'll check on you tomorrow."

"Bye Sensei. Love you."

"Love you too, honey."

He turned to Kakashi and smiled. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Kakashi."

"Bye Sensei." He mumbled.

They both watched him walk out of the door and out of sight. Rin turned to Kakashi after she was sure he was gone. She must have sensed him doubting his intentions or felt his fear of their Sensei's impending decisions. "What is it?" She asked him, a little unnerved. "What's wrong?"

"Rin, it's nothing." He tried to reassure.

"What's he done?" She asked, but in a voice a little more stable and secure.

Kakashi was silent for a moment or two, hoping she would just give up. "What's wrong?" She persisted, becoming more and more worried.

"Do you know who Aiko is?" He asked. She knew quite a bit more about the people around them than he did. She might have the answers that he needed.

"Aiko?" She asked, her head cocked to the side unbelievingly. It was apparently the last question she expected him to ask. "That's his Genin team mate. They worked together for years. They were close." She explained. Why do you ask?"

"She's caused a lot of trouble, Rin. A _lot_ of trouble." He told her. "That's his important meeting tomorrow. It's with her."

"What kind of trouble?" She asked.

"I don't know. People say she's the reason for all of the trouble in Konoha. The Cold War, the Nakaue's, everything."

"That can't be right." She said softly, shifted her gaze from the bed to Kakashi. " 'Kashi. I've met her before. She's a good person." She told him, ringing her hands in thought. "Sensei wouldn't let someone hurt the Village like that. Not if it was in his control to stop it." She convinced herself before looking at him again. "He wouldn't Kakashi. No matter what. You and I both know that." She said, strongly.

"Okay." He said, giving in. It was clear that she wouldn't believe that their Sensei could wrong the village. He didn't even want to discuss it with her in the first place and berated himself for letting her talking him into it. "Just let me take care of it." He said softly, laying the blankets on top of her so he could hide his hands from her view. He finished the last few hand signs for a sleeping-jutsu. "You get some sleep."

"'Kashi.." She tried to interject. She felt her eyelids practically snap shut as his sleeping-jutsu washed over her. He shushed her gently, petting her, reassuring her.

"It'll be okay, Rin. I'll take care of us." He whispered, kissing her forehead as she fell asleep.

* * *

The next day, Kakashi took Rin home to her apartment. She was still very sore and he had supported her physically for most of the walk since she refused to let him carry her. He had insisted that she stay over at his apartment while she recooperated but she refused that too. She said that she would be fine and the soreness would wear off in a few days. It wasn't her physical needs that worried him. She had been through something very traumatic and he worried that she would try to strengthen herself the same way he did by pretending that it didn't happen. Rin's mind didn't work like his did. She couldn't just forget it happened or heal from telling herself it wasn't a big deal. It didn't even work that way for him some of the time. Besides, this was a big deal: even he knew that.

He got her settled in her room and then went to the kitchen to start breakfast. He was a fairly decent cook and she hadn't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday. He hadn't had the chance to satisfy the "munchies", as Asuma so called them, from smoking last night so he was starving as well. He fished the pancake mix from the cabinet along with a few bowls. He went to the refrigerator and retrieved the bacon, sausage and eggs. He turned the stove on and started his attempt at cooking.

Rin could smell the food that Kakashi was cooking and her stomach growled in appreciation. He was trying so hard to take care of her. She worried about his eyes. It was both of them this time. That meant so many things.

She heard a knock at the door followed by Kakashi hollering that he would get it. It was probably Kurenai. She had plans with her today to go look at some dresses for the upcoming Hokage festival.

Kakashi swung the door open with a spatula in his hand. He saw a man that wasn't too much older than he was. Kakashi saw the Fire headband and felt his senses go into defense. Collin Nakaue.

"Hi." He said nervously. "Is Rin here?" He asked, looking past Kakashi.

"Yes." Kakashi said stoically, not moving aside so he could enter the apartment.

"Can I see her?" He asked nervously.

"No."

"I'm-

"- Collin Nakaue." Kakashi finished abruptly. "I know. You can not see Rin right now. She just got home and she needs some space away from _you_." Kakashi told him, making no attempt to make it sound friendly. He did like this guy. He had put Rin through all of this and he could kill her if she conceived his baby. He would not make friends with a man that had the intention of killing the only person he had in the world. He would not be friendly towards the man that had the intention of killing the one person that his team mate's _dying_ wish was that she be protected. He refused too.

"I know what happened. I just want to see if she's okay." He said sympathetically.

"She's fine." Kakashi told him before shutting the door.

"I care about her too. " He said from the other side. "You're not the only one, Kakashi."

Kakashi angrily swung the door open. "Let me correct you." He seethed. "You care about the girl that's agreed to have your fucking baby. I care about my friend." He said before slamming the door.

Nakaue caught the door, keeping it from slamming. "She told me about your other team mate. "He said. "I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose someone like that. I know that she's all you've got left and I respect how protective you are of her. All I want is to see her-

"-No." Kakashi interrupted. "Does no one in your country understand that "no" means "no"?" He asked sarcastically. "Thanks for your sympathy. Thanks for understanding- but you can't see her. Not now."

"Okay." He said, giving in and backing away from the door so Kakashi could shut it. "I'll come back later."

Kakashi shut the door, paying special attention to not slam it as to alerting Rin. He stomped back into the kitchen to finish cooking. He put the finishing touches on breakfast and then got a tray out so he could carry it all back into the bedroom for Rin.

Rin watched Kakashi walk in with a tray full of the greasiest foods that she had seen in a while. The smell of it made her stomach growl, aching for some substance. Kakashi fixed her a plate consisting of pancakes drowned in syrup, sausage, bacon, eggs and half of an apple and handed it to her carefully.

She took a bite before remembering someone at the door earlier. "Who 'as at the door?" She asked around the food in her mouth.

"Asuma." He quickly lied. "Wanted me to go help him with somethin'. I told him maybe later."

"You can go after you get done eating." Rin told him. "He usually only comes in person if it's important."

"Just wanted me to help him pick out some clothes for the festival." He said, knowing that Asuma would eventually ask so it wasn't a _complete_ lie. "Wants to impress Kurenai."

"Kurenai?"

"Girl he's crushin' on." He began to explain.

"-Kurenai's my neighbor." Rin interrupted. "That's cute." She said with a small smile. "My neighbor and your friend."

"Yeah. Thank God that these walls are thick." Kakashi said jokingly.

* * *

Arashi felt his heart race as he took a seat behind his oversized desk that was stacked with paperwork that needed to be signed. He was in his Hokage attire, waiting for Aiko to appear for the meeting that she had requested. He noticed the single, thick chart planted in the middle of his desk. He picked it up, reading the words _Hatake, Kakashi_ on the file in big bold letters. He flipped it open nervously. He might as well have a look at Kakashi's file while he waited for Aiko. She was always late for everything. 

He flipped to the first page, discovering it was surgery notes from when they first returned.

Patient is male, approximately 15 years old. Patient was admitted immediately after returning from field mission in Land of Rocks. Patient was taken into operation approximately 3:30 A.M, immediately after arrival and examination.

Major injuries consist of: 3 centimeter, 2 inch deep kunai wound on the right leg, a. 6 centimeter, 1 and 1/2 inch deep kunai wound on the left arm, possible pulmonary artery damage and possible nerve damage. Several kunai and shuriken wounds on the abdomen, several inches deep, known internal bleeding, possible organ damage. 12 centimeter, 3 inch deep incision wound from field surgery. Suspicion of retnal damage and possible infection from field surgery and transfer. Follow up has yet to be scheduled with an optometrist.

Minor injuries consist of several abrasions and small cuts as charted.

Special Notes: Mission was a success, but patient is unaware. Patient is incoherent and has mentioned fallen team mate several times and requests to see surviving Kunoichi. PTSD is suspected. Kunoichi is also team Medic and says the field surgery was successful. Patient was in severe pain before sedation- registering a nine on pain chart.

Follow ups will be scheduled after operation.

He closed the folder after pulling out the paper that needed to be signed to place Kakashi on mission restriction. He signed the papers and rubbed at his eyes furiously to keep the tears away. He couldn't read the rest. He couldn't handle it. He had important business today. He couldn't cry over what he had done, no matter how much he wished to. He heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." He answered.

His assistant, Iva, appeared as the door sung open. "Lord Hokage. Aiko Hirosha is here to see you."

"Bring her in." He said, resting back in his chair as she appeared. His heart jumped when he saw her- she had done well for herself. She was still as beautiful as he remembered.

"Hello, Arashi." She greeted nervously.

"Hey, Aiko." He said with a warm smile. He stood up and hugged her before kissing each cheek in greeting. "You look great." He complimented.

"Thanks." She said with a genuine smile as she took a seat. She waited for Arashi to settle behind his desk.

"You made it. Hokage, huh?" She said.

"Yep. What'cha think?" He asked, coyly.

"You look good." She said with a nod. "The jobs done you a lot of favors."

"I don't know about that, now. I have grown up a lot because of this job though."

"That's good." She said as she shifted her gaze from his uncomfortably. "Listen, Arashi. I've come to talk to you about something important."

"Okay. I'm listening." He said, becoming serious about the situation. "I should warn you." He began. "I can't give you anymore money." He said sternly as he laid back in his chair.

"I didn't come to ask for money." She told him as she rubbed the back of her neck. "I wanted to come home."

"I want you to come home." He said, genuinely. "I worried about you for a very long time. I still do."

"I'm sorry, Arashi. I never meant to hurt you."

"Never mind. What did you request this meeting for? I'm very busy." He told her, not wanting to discuss their personal business in his office. The building had ears and he didn't want anything unfortunate to find Kakashi or Rin's ears.

"My brother's gone missing-Arashi." She told him. "I think that he might try and release the Nine-Tails Fox."

"The Nine-Tails?" He asked unbelievingly. "How does he even know of the Nine-Tails? Only the 'Kage's are privileged with the information as to where the seven demons are hidden and contained."

"He knows-because I told him." She said as the tears leaked from her eyes. "You told me by accident when we were still together and I told him two weeks ago when he asked. I'm so sorry, Arashi." She said before she rested her head in her hands as she sobbed.

"You told a convicted "S" ranked Shinobi where a dangerous, murdering demon is?" He asked, unbelievingly. "A demon that could and will crush Konoha like a toothpick?!"

"He's my brother-" She said. "I trusted him."

"You are a trained Kunoichi, Aiko!" He yelled, losing control of his temper. "-Of Village, and now you've given dangerous information that could kill us all to Ishmael!" He said, slamming his fist on the table, very nearly causing a dent. The ANBU officers heard the commotion and rushed in as they were trained to do to avoid assassination attempts when there weren't ANBU stationed in the meeting room.

"Lord Hokage? Is everything okay?" The masked Captain asked.

"Arrest Ms. Hirosha." He demanded softly. He exhaled, a sad look appearing on his face as the sense of betrayal grabbed a hold of his heart. "She's not to be released in any circumstance without the direct approval of the Hokage." He told the arresting officers. "- and assemble your finest recovery team." He told the masked captain of ANBU as he watched the arresting officers shackle the sobbing woman. "Meet here A-SAP to discuss the mission. It's "S" ranked and very top secret. Tell no one."

"I'm sorry, Arashi." She repeated as they lead her out of the room.

A "Yessir" was said by the Captain as he vanished from the room to assemble his team and Arashi was left alone. He hit the wall next to him with the side of his hand, feeling frustrated with his own stupidity. He only hoped that they caught Ishmael Hirosha before he reached the Nine-Tails Fox' captive place. If he released the monster, it would immediately kill the Hirosha man and then head for the Village. He wasn't sure if they had the resources to defend against such an attack right now. He couldn't believe this was happening. He should have never let Aiko out of his contact. He should have had her followed. He should have never spared Ishmael from execution.

He let the one woman he could never say "no" to put his Village in grave peril. If he had never stopped the execution they would never be in this situation. If he had never told her where there Nine-Tails lie they would never be in this situation. If he had done anything different, they wouldn't be in this situation.

This was all his fault.

He called Iva in. He gave her the direct order to go ahead and assemble all of the necessary recovery efforts for war. It would consist of clearing the majority of the Hospital for wounded Shinobi. Active Duty Shinobi would be given the necessary orders to prepare incase the recovery team failed. The civilians, mostly consisting of women, children, the old, and retired Shinobi, to be directed into Sanctuaries, safe from harm. After she helped him organize everything, he sent her off to make the calls.

He made two very important calls, one to Rin and Kakashi- the other to his pregnant wife.

The best he could figure, the time it would take to cover the distance between Ishmael's last known location and where the Nine-Tails was hidden would be around a five day trip. That gave the Recovery team five days to track and "take care of" Ishmael.

If they failed and the Nine-Tails was released- a devastating war would begin. A war he was not sure that they could win. It would be a war that they fought to the end. It would be a war in which Arashi kept their odds to himself. He was the only one that needed to know what could happen- he would not drown his people's will to survive with only mere numbers- and he wouldn't try to.


	11. One and Only Chance

"I understand, Sensei. Yes sir." Kakashi answered, watching Rin out of the corner of his eye. Arashi-Sensei was explaining the situation to him. He had been requested to the ANBU Headquarters for an emergency meeting. The whole Village was on Red-Alert. He said that he wasn't allowed on field missions but there were things that they could still use him for as far as things on the home front. He couldn't exactly discuss all of the details over the phone, but war efforts and relief were already in place. That worried Kakashi. Sensei usually only put the efforts out when he seriously thought they were going to undergo an attack of a very serious nature otherwise he would have only called for the Hospital assistance.

He needed to report directly to Headquarters A-SAP. He was told, directly ordered, that he needed to find someone to sit with Rin while he was gone and that she was not to leave the house. She was by no means to work. Not even in a Village emergency.

He hung up the phone and turned to Rin. She was biting her nails, watching him nervously.

"What's going on?" She asked him.

"I've got to go to an ANBU meeting." He said calmly. "Do you think that Kurenai's home?" He asked her, putting his Jounin vest on.

"I think so." She told him quietly. "Kakashi, you're on mission restriction. You can't go on any missions."

"The whole Village is on Red-Alert, Rin. I have to go." He told her. He didn't want to have to play twenty questions to get out of the door. They were in a serious crisis here.

"Do you think we'll be attacked?" She asked nervously.

"I don't know, Rin." He told her. ""I'm gonna go see if Kurenai's home. If she's not I'll call Lady Inuzuka and she can send someone over." He kissed her forehead. "I'll be back soon." He promised.

"Be careful, Kakashi." She said, finding her voice as a Kunoichi.

Kakashi nodded before leaving the apartment and going next door. He knocked loudly on the eggshell white door, hoping someone was home. The sooner he found someone to sit with Rin the sooner he could leave and get to the Headquarters. He worried that he was already late. He heard small, gentle footsteps approaching from the other side and breathed a sigh of relief as the door opened.

A pretty, dark haired, red eyed, Chuunin girl answered the door. "Can I help you?" She asked with a slight attitude.

"Are you Kurenai? Kurenai Yuhi?" He asked. He had never officially met Kurenai before. He had only seen her out with Asuma or around the Village doing various things. He wanted to be sure he had the right girl.

"Yes. You are?" She asked suspiciously.

"Kakashi Hatake. I need you to stay with Rin for a while. She can't be left alone and I have important business to attend." He said with authority. He didn't have the time to explain past that. Just because he was on mission restriction didn't make him any less of a Jounin. By law of the Village she had to obey the command he gave her in times of crisis without him being her mission leader. He could order her to if needed.

"O-Okay." She answered. "Is she okay?" She asked him. "I heard what happened."

"She's okay." He said, his eyes softening at the thought of his team mate's pain. "I just don't want her to be alone."

Kakashi took off for the ANBU Headquarters after he made sure that Kurenai made it into the apartment. He couldn't wait until the meeting. He wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know what had happened for the Village to be placed on Red-Alert. He wanted to know if it had anything to do with Aiko. Where they really anticipating an attack? Were the Sand Ninja back? Did the Nakaue's finally give up on the deal?

He walked into the building and signed the roster in the front office. He walked into the official room where the meeting would be held in about five minutes and found a seat next to Asuma. He probably already had the information. He had about five ANBU Black-Op's that leaked him information on the basis that he didn't give names. They still respected him for the fact that they he was the Third Hokage's son.

"What's going on?" He asked quietly.

"I have no idea." Asuma answered before lighting a cigarette. "They wouldn't tell me anything."

Kakashi knew from that sentence that things were worse than he thought.

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Kurenai walked into Rin's open apartment and locked the door, securing the chain, as Kakashi had told her to. She called Rin's name, trying to figure out where she had gone. She was a little nervous. She'd seen all of the shops locked up and all of the Black Op's on the streets. The Village was on lock down if not Red-Alert. She hadn't been a Chuunin long, but she expected to be called into service soon if her suspicions were true. She wished that Asuma would answer his phone. He would have an idea of what was happening if he didn't know the whole story.  
"Hey, Kurenai." Rin greeted.

"Hey, Rin." She said, noticing that Rin needed the assistance of the back of the recliner to stand. "Let's go sit down." She suggested. "Do you need anything?"

"No. I'm fine." She told her. "I'm okay." She said as she took a seat in the recliner.

Kurenai tried to think of any possible way to start a conversation but came up empty. She didn't want to touch any nerves about the recent events and she was nervous about the situation at hand. She turned the T.V. on and turned it to the news, hoping that maybe the Hokage had released some news to the press.

She was in no such luck, unfortunately. The only thing that the news had were some shots of Black-Op's patrolling the streets.

"As you can see behind me, there are multiple Black-Ops on the street. Nervousness is setting in on the citizens of Konoha as the time when the Hokage's speech to explain all of this approaches. Whatever is going on..it's not good." The news anchor reported. Rin turned off the T.V.

"It never is." She grumbled.

Rin began to repeat some of the rules of being a Kunoichi that she knew by heart in her head. It helped her cope sometimes. She was already angry with herself for being too damn weak to even go to work at the Hospital. She was angry at Collin Nakaue for getting her pregnant. She was angry at herself for the miscarriage. She was angry all together. It was her job to be there for her Village when she was needed. Her expertise was being wasted.

A Kunoichi must always be able to tell emotion from reality. She must always blend in with the women's culture that she is impersonating or risk exposing her entire team. She must always compensate for her team mates as they compensate for her or face dire consequences.

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It felt like ages before Arashi-Sensei had finally entered the room. He came in official dress and with a serious look on his face. Kakashi felt his heart beat quicken a few paces before it came back under control. He knew by the look and by the intensity of the room that whatever had happened was horrible if not completely devastating. Something was wrong.  
"I've called you all here today to discuss something very serious." Lord Hokage started somberly. "Yesterday, at approximately eleven hundred hours a very dangerous, convicted, Leaf-Shinobi was witnessed leaving to release a murderous and extremely dangerous creature. Ishmael Hirosha is on the loose with the intention of releasing the Nine-Tails' Fox. Not only one of the very formidable tail demons, but one with a nasty vengeance on Konoha. Some of you younger Shinobi have never heard of these creatures before but rest assured they will be the most dangerous things you've ever faced." He continued. "This is very top secret information- it is not to be shared with anyone outside of this room." He warned. "Under any circumstances. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir." Was said clearly in unison throughout the crowd of ANBU Jounin.

"I've assigned you into groups. Some of you will be going on a mission to try and locate Mr. Hirosha and he is to be executed on site. You will have a space of four days to eliminate the threat. When he is executed, his body is to be returned to Konoha, no excuses. Those shinobi on the mission will have their names called and given the route to follow after the meeting is adjourned. The rest of you will be assigned to various tasks such as crowd control and support until this is all over. Is everything clear?"

"Yes sir." Was said again.

He had a general idea about who would get called where and into what team. He also knew that he probably never see some of them again. He silently began to detach himself from the situation, knowing better than to take any other action. He put himself into auto-pilot until it was over. He didn't expect that to hear that. Not in the slightest. He didn't expect the threat of the Nine Tails attacking. They would never be able to prepare for that. They were already at a critical disadvantage that would cost them dearly and the worst hadn't happened yet. It was enough to run his blood cold. He wasn't the only one who the damage. The price. Still, everyone sat quietly, despite their pre-existing knowledge of what the Nine Tails could unleash. They had a chance to stop Hirosha. They had to or they risked the entire Village. For now they had a chance to save Konoha. He slowly began to repeat the six-hundred and twenty Shinobi rules in his head that he had memorized throughout his missions.

A Shinobi can never show his emotions. No matter how bad he's hurting.

"Group one's going out to the field." He started. "Asuma Sarutobi."

He didn't even breathe as Asuma stood from his chair and walked over and stood against the wall without a word. "Hayate Gekkou." An unfamiliar man stood from his seat at the end of the table and stood against the wall next to Asuma, giving off a congested cough. "Ryou Inuzuka." An older Inuzuka male stood from the opposite side of the table and stood on the opposite side of Asuma. "Shibi Aburame." The Head of the Aburame clan stood and walked to stand in line. "-and Hizashi Hyuuga."

Lord Hokage stood in front of the men that he had assembled. "The five of you are top-rated in tracking. You're Konoha's finest. Live up to your reputation or face dire consequences of the Nine-Tails Fox demon." He commanded strongly. "It's up to you gentlemen. Go home and take the things you need for the mission and assemble in front of the building. You leave in ten minutes."

"Yes sir." They complied before vanishing into thin air.

He then turned back to the table of remaining Jounin, flipping to another page on the clip board.

"The next team is going to fall behind the first group in the field. The next will assist in crowd control. The next will assist at the Hospital. The last will take care of the Sanctuary and ensure civilian safety if the first two teams fail." He informed.

"So it begins." Kakashi thought.


	12. When You Failed

Fear.

Fear was the first thing that came back to Kakashi's mind as he sat in the emergency room of the Hospital. The emergency room bustled as medics were trying to save lives and stop the huge amounts of blood pouring from many of his comrades.

Every moan or groan, every time metal clicked together, every time somebody coughed because of internal damage, every noise made threatened to trip him out of reality.

Well, what he thought was reality.

There was no reality anymore; they were at war with one of the Tail Demons.

His whole body shook, but not from cold. He felt like he actually about to overheat. He shook from fear. He had never seen something that could destroy so much with so little effort.

The Nine-Tails Fox.

Its coat was an orange-like red, something that resembled the fires of hell almost. Its eyes shone through with a feral, killing, intent. It screamed the name of his Sensei, demanding that his rival as well as the man who had imprisoned him, the Hokage of the Leaf Village, show himself. Until he came, the demon would just keep killing.

Arashi-Sensei hadn't come before Kakashi was critically injured by the flying debris that flew throughout the battle field, via the chakra of the Nina-Tails, and a field medic had shipped him out to the Hospital since the damage done was greater than he could repair with the medic's low chakra. He felt the sharp sting in his side where the shurikens had been and the deep gashes that had poured blood and were still bleeding the vital red substance into dirty bandages.

His Sharingan eye spun and searched the room without his control. He hadn't perfected it yet and it was still damaged, but he had used it anyway. Now he couldn't seem to get it to relax or stop draining his already critically low chakra.

He knew things were bad. He could feel it. He tried to even his breathing so he wouldn't hyperventilate as the echoes of the noises of the battle that was still raging just outside of the Village's borders rang in his head.

The Village would pay dearly for Hirosha's mistake. Very dearly.

"Kakashi?" A familiar feminine voice asked from his left. He turned his head to see Rin standing next to the curtain that separated him from the rest of the room. His curiosity about her welfare sprang into overdrive as he noticed how tired she looked. She wasn't supposed to be on her feet at all.

"Rin?" He asked, fully turning towards her and drawing her close, sensing her pain.

She loved to help people, but mass death, like war created, always upsetted her even though she would never admit it.

"I'm worried." She said in a muffled voice against his unharmed shoulder. "No one knows where Arashi-Sensei is and the demon's getting closer and closer by the minute."

"It's gonna be okay." He reassured instinctively. "You need to be underground." He whispered.

"They need all the medics they can get." She told him apprehensively. "Things are pretty bad."

"Rin!" Tsundae's voice screeched. "You'll have time with him later. I need everyone out here- ." She told her, pointing the room full of wounded.

"Yes, ma'am. Right away." She said as she pulled out of Kakashi's arms. She looked him up and down, looking for any wounds that were going to bleed him to death and after not finding any, kissed him on the cheek and left to fulfill Tsunadae's orders.

* * *

Anxiety. 

Anxiety was what came back to the commanding leader of the ANBU from that night.

"Hold this ground until the Hokage arrives!" The commanding leader of ANBU called out to his subordinates. He tried to ignore the flying debris that caused more harm than any direct confrontation so far. He tried to ignore the anger filled screams that demanded the Hokage. He was ordered to hold this ground, if the beast proceeded any further, then it would have direct contact with the Village and its civilians. That was unacceptable.

The Hokage was what the beast wanted. The Hokage would have the knowledge and skill to defeat the Nine Tails and save the lives of his subordinates and all of the other shinobi here.

He just wasn't here. He was the only ninja on Active duty that wasn't present.

His heart beat against his chest like a wild bird caught in a cage as the beat took another massive step forward, thrashing its wild red tails.

He had to arrive soon. They couldn't hold this ground any longer.

Shame.

Shame came back to Arashi as he proceeded down to the prison building, trying to block out the loud noises of the battle that raged on outside the Village walls. He'd received word that Aiko had gone into_ labor_.

At first, he was convinced they had the wrong woman. He'd seen Aiko only moments before and she had no physical signs of being pregnant.

They had the wrong woman, because Aiko would never attempt to keep something so important from him. She would never. It hurt him to think that she would have moved on from him, having children with another man, even though he had done the same thing and was expecting a child of his own with his wife. Maybe she knew that and hadn't wanted to impose or create any guilt for him. It hadn't been so long ago that he had seen Aiko last.

If she had disguised her pregnancy at their meeting with some type of jutsu and they canceled it at the jail-house when they booked her, what was he supposed to say to her? He had nothing.

They had the wrong woman.

The ground shook with the rage of the Nine-Tails Fox as he knocked on the door of the prison. The few ANBU still guarding the prison saw him and immediately let him in.

"Yes, Lord Hokage?" They asked at attention.

"Aiko Hirosha, take me to her." He commanded.

"Yes sir." He responded, looking at a chart and confirming Aiko's cell number.

When they arrived underground to where the cells were kept, he sensed the familiar feel of death. His heart grew heavier with the realization that it might be Aiko. No matter what she had done, she was still his friend. She was still important to him. She was still one of his precious people. He just prayed he didn't have to lose her to this. He'd lost her to everything else- but he wouldn't lose her to this war.

His fears were confirmed when the approached the cell she was being held in. There were two medics; they looked young, not even out of medical school yet, preparing her body for burial. He couldn't help but notice how Aiko was pale. Her beautiful olive tan skin was now icily white. Even her honey colored hair was paler. Pale with death.

His heart was crushed.

He swallowed thickly, trying to keep from falling apart in front of the company here. With a war going on, he didn't have time.

"What about the child?" He asked, his voice etched with a shady tone.

"She gave birth to a boy." One of the medic's pronounced. "-called him Naruto."

"She saw him then?"

"Yes sir."

"Take me to him. To the child." He commanded one of the medic's.

She looked at him with a certain fear, but said nothing as she exited the cell and lead him down the hall to where the child lay. His heart grew heavier as he heard the cooing from the makeshift crib that had been created for the baby. He saw a blonde headed infant, flailing his arms around and wiggling, getting used to the outside world. He walked over to the crib and gently lifted the baby from its crib and holding it close against him. It was then he had gotten a better look at its features. Blonde hair, brilliant cerulean eyes, beautiful, even toned honey-colored skin. Things he would not have received from his brown eyed, dark haired mother.

"Medic." He beckoned the young woman. "I want a paternity test taken."

"Yes sir." She said, getting the cotton swabs and swabbing the inside of the baby's mouth and labeling the strip she placed it in "Naruto". "Who would you like the second against?"

"Me." He told her, opening his mouth slightly for her to swab the inside of his cheek.

She gave him an awkward look but did as he asked. "What would you like me to label this as, sir?"

"Put it under "Aiko's team member"." He told her as he placed the infant back in the crib. "- submit the findings to the Third Hokage. I have to go."

"Yessir."


	13. Forget what you've known

**A/N: Happy Post-Thanksgiving! **

**I'd like to thank those who reviewed the last chapter. Awesome you all are!**

* * *

It had been three days since the attack on Konoha by the Nine Tails Fox.

To say the least, they hadn't faired well. The Leaf Village was in practical ruins. There were extra security along every inch of what was left of the Village gates to make sure that no foreign villages got any ideas about attacking them while they were already hurt.

The mortality rates and names had gone out yesterday. The news had devastated every single person in Konoha. Kakashi doubted any one would attack the Leaf Village now. Not with the grief they were currently experiencing. It was pretty much an inhuman act to attack a Village who had lost as much as they had. They estimated that one in every two shinobi had died, along with their Hokage and leading officers. No, an attack right now would be like slaughtering lambs.

The Leaf Village was in a state of crippling grief. Rin still hadn't stopped crying, not even three days later. He had cried several times himself, but he made sure that it was at times where Rin wouldn't see him. She needed him more than ever and he owed it to her to be there. Arashi-Sensei was dead. The man who could never die was gone. Kakashi felt both burdened and vurnable with that knowledge. Arashi-Sensei was important to every single being in Konoha and even more so to him and Rin. He had taught them everything they knew and more than they would have ever learned by themselves. He had taken care of them when they had been resilient toward him since they had already been miserably abandoned. He'd bought them things on their birthday and made sure that they went to the medic's when they came back from missions and other things like that. Little things that were insignificant that he would do in the places of their parents felt like tons of weight that tried to constrict any will to survive out of him. He was in a sense, everything they had left. It hurt to lose him.

Hundreds of people seemed to fill into the memorial building. Kakashi sat in the front row along with Rin and Arashi-Sensei's wife, Jiriya and a few of Arashi's cousins. He wished now that he had volunteered for the gates. Kakashi noticed both familiar clans and those unfamiliar as they took their seats for the ceremony. They had come to pay their respects to the greatest leader that any of the Villages had seen since the founding leaders. Kakashi had come to pay respects to the man he had looked up to and idolized since he was eight. He came to pay respects to the last man he would ever be willing to take direction from. He'd come to say goodbye to the closest thing he would ever have to a father.

Arashi- Sensei.

He looked over Rin and noticed how stoic Arashi's wife was. She wasn't crying but her face was full of grief and despair. His heart sunk in his chest as he remembered how much the woman had meant to his Sensei. They hadn't been married very long, maybe a year and a half. He remembered how imminent his Sensei was about keeping her out of his shinobi affairs. As a result of that, Kakashi hadn't gotten a chance to really get to know her. He regretted that decision now because he was sure that she could use a friend. She was pregnant and now alone. He reached to touch her shoulder with the arm he had laced around Rin. She turned to see him and gave him a small, faint smile.

"It's okay." She said tonelessly.

In all reality, Kakashi didn't see how it would ever be okay after today.

* * *

The former Third Hokage walked down the hall of the Hokage building, all to familiar with it's structure. A meeting had been called immediately after the services to discuss reconstruction plans. Sarutobi knew that they wanted to discuss more than mere reconstruction. They wanted to discuss the child that Arashi had sealed the demon in and the mystery that surrounded it.. An infant. 

No one knew what would become of the child. There was nothing to reference in this case. No one had ever sealed another being inside of a human before. There were many frightening questions. Could the demon overshadow the child and come back again? Would all of their sacrifice mean nothing? Would the child take on characteristics of the demon? Why had Arashi-Sensei chosen to contain the demon instead of destroying it? He had the knowledge to do both.

Why had he chosen that child? The child of his former Gennin team mate, Aiko. She had died in prison and he had chosen to condemn the child further. Once the news was released about what exactly had happened in that battle and to the demon, the child would never be treated like those its own age. It seemed like a cruel act.

He opened the doors and took a seat at the head of the Magistrate table where it's representatives were already seated. They greeted him respectively as he sat down. He started to begin to ask what they intended to start with when one of the replacement Hokage aids tapped him on the shoulder with a scroll. It was labeled with a medical stamp and his name written in bold letters.

"A student came and dropped this off." The aid whispered to where no one else could hear him. "She said it was for your eyes only."

"Excuse me." He asked the Magistrate.

He unrolled the scroll and read the news that was important enough to interrupt a meeting with the Magistrate.

_**PATERNITY TEST:**_

_Aiko Hirosha infant, Naruto:_

POSITIVE

_Aiko Hirosha team mate:_

Sarutobi thought for a minute, knowing exactly what this test meant. Arashi had fathered the infant that he had condemned to the fate of being the container. He had obviously suspected it since he ordered the paternity test. It just opened up a whole new category of questions. He had to arrange a meeting with Jiriya and Arashi's wife as soon as possible.


	14. My Heart Breaks For You

Rin woke up to the sound of someone knocking loudly on the front door. She groaned as she sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking to her right for her alarm clock. '12:45' read in bright green letters. She sighed, she didn't feel like getting out of bed. She didn't feel like doing much of anything. In fact, she felt the same way she had for the past month and a half since Arashi-Sensei died.

Complete hopelessness.

When the knocking persisted, she rolled over and shook the man next to her awake.

"Kakashi. Go answer the door please." She mumbled.

He didn't say anything as he climbed out of bed clumsily. He climbed into a pair of boxers that laid in the floor to conceal his naked body before he left the bedroom to do as she requested. Normally, he would have put up a fight, but under the circumstances he hadn't argued with her at all. He hadn't really said much in the past couple of weeks. It wasn't like she could complain. She hadn't made any extraordinary attempt to socialize either. Even the people who came to see her on a basic routine had been sent away. It wasn't like their was much to say that hadn't already been said. The weeks that followed Arashi-Sensei's funeral had been used for nothing other than grieving for the man she had been so close to.

The only person allowed inside of her apartment or around her was Kakashi. Partly because he refused to leave and partly because she didn't want him to. If it were possible to be handling the situation worse than she was, Kakashi had it covered.

As much as she hated to admit it, Kakashi was doing the same thing he did when they lost Obito. He didn't talk. His presence itself felt angry. He wouldn't look at anybody, almost as if his eyes were glued to the ground when he walked. He forgot things easily and always seemed to be in a daze. He had been given a mandatory three week grievance relief, directly from the Hokage's office after he failed his field test. It was the only option. He could hardly maintain even the most basic of jutsu. If that weren't bad enough, his ability to function was even less. She literally had to remind him to eat and there were nights he wouldn't sleep.

She had woken up on more than one occasion to find him on her front porch, sitting on the edge of the front steps. He would normally be smoking a cigarette or folding and re-folding random pieces of papers he had found in the house, anything to keep his hands busy. She'd seen it a million times at the Hospital. Ninja who'd lost someone they loved or adored had a tic that kept their hands busy. Those who didn't were twice as likely to do themselves harm. Kakashi always did it, even before Obito died.

Something he had started doing after they lost him was staring at the stars. He wouldn't look at one particular pattern, just everything as a whole. She hated seeing Kakashi this way, but she had been granted one of the few things she'd asked for as a Genin when she'd met him. She finally knew why he felt the way he did. She finally knew what made Kakashi Hatake act the way he did.

And she could honestly say it was one of the most painful things she had ever experienced.

Kakashi finally managed to get his eyes open as he opened the front door.

He groaned as he saw the man standing in front of it. He had expected Kurenai, Asuma, and maybe even Lady Inuzuka. He couldn't believe that Collin Nakaue had shown up at Rin's front door. He was, at the very least, the last man Kakashi wanted to see.

"Oh." He said, seeming surprised to see Kakashi. "Hello, Kakashi." He mumbled. "Is Rin home?"

"She's asleep, Nakaue." He told the Lord, making no attempt to hide his annoyance.

"Really?" He asked, clearly trying to ignore Kakashi's half naked figure.

Kakashi could have stabbed himself. He should have at least thrown a shirt on too. He opened the door the rest of the way so Nakaue could see the rest of the living room and the couch that Kakashi had supposedly been sleeping on. He was glad that he hadn't bothered trying to fold the blanket back up or anything, it made it more believable that he had "actually" been sleeping on Rin's couch.

"Satisfied?" Kakashi asked, clearly annoyed.

"Can you just give Rin this, please?" He asked, holding out an envelope for Kakashi to take.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever." He muttered, taking it from him and closing the door.

He sighed and walked back into the bedroom and laid back down in bed. He had nothing else to do. He'd practically been taken off of Active Duty between his medical issues and the field test. He had never been more embarrassed by his shinobi skills like he had that day. An Academy graduate could have done better than he had.

Rin had done her best to convince him that it had been an effect of the stress they both were feeling that was to blame and not his skills. He thought differently, but he wasn't going to tell her that. She prided herself on making him feel better and he wouldn't ruin it for her. It was one of the few things she still did that brought her any source of achievement.

He held out the envelope to Rin. "Here." He said softly.

She looked over at him and took the envelope from his hand. She noticed the handwriting as she took the letter from the inside of it.

_Rin,_

_If you're reading this, it means I was unsuccessful in getting you to answer your own door for once. I just wanted to check on you and see how you were doing. I was sorry to hear about your Sensei. I would never wish that on anyone. I just hoped that I could possibly get you to come have lunch with me today. If not, I understand._

_Collin,_

She folded it back inside of its envelope and placed it gently on the side table next to her. She stood from bed and gently wrapped a robe around her and headed off into the adjoining bathroom to get in the shower.

"Where are you going?" Kakashi asked, sitting up and watching her.

"To get in the shower. I have to go to work." She explained. "Are you gonna be okay while I'm gone? Do you need anything while I'm out?"

"I'll be fine, Rin." He told her. "I'm not completely helpless." He reassured.

"Okay." She said before she closed the door.

* * *

The Third Hokage sat at a table with the remaining General's of Konoha. He felt burdened by the fact that of the five there had been, only two sat before him now. They were there to give him damage reports, along with the final casualty report. He probably wouldn't look at the lesser. He wasn't sure he could handle it at his age. It was likely to give him a heart attack, and he still had a meeting with Arashi's wife, Jiriya and Tsunadae to attend. 

The biggest problem was what was going to happen to the infant that the demon was sealed into. Naruto.

"Sir, if you don't mind, could you tell me who the Fourth has chosen for the Fifth Hokage?" The leading General asked.

"He didn't, Syro." He told him. "-but the Magistrate has proposed that I be reinstated."

"I think that would be the wisest course of action. We need a leader immediately..We don't have the time or the means to elect a new Hokage. I think it would be easier on the people of the town as well. I'm not sure they would be into the idea of a new Hokage. There is still a lot of grief for the Fourth."

"There's no reason why they shouldn't grieve, Syro." He told the General. "Arashi was a good man and an even better leader."

"Yes sir."

* * *

An hour later, Tsunadae appeared at his office door. She looked around the office, undoubtedly in search of Jiriya. He smiled. She had never felt secure when she was the only other person in the room, not even when she was a little girl. He couldn't believe how much time had passed since she was his student. 

"Have a seat, Tsunadae." He told her kindly. "Jirirya should be here soon."

She smiled as she took her seat. "What's this about?" She asked the older man. "I haven't been asked to a meeting in years."

"You know the orphan baby that I've placed in your care at the Hospital?" He asked.

"Naruto? Yes." She answered. "He's doing well for such a traumatic birth."

"That's good to hear. Now, there's something you need to know." He told her. "Naruto is Arashi's son."

She looked at him in shock. "That's the reason for the strange symbol." She muttered, almost too low for him to hear.

"What symbol?"

"Naruto had a symbol on his stomach, right next to where his umbilical cord was cut."

"I see." He told her. "Wh-

They were interrupted when Jirirya walked in with a younger woman. She was about two inches taller than Rin. She was brunette with blue eyes and lily white skin. She wore a sad face, one that he normally saw in widows. She was heavily pregnant, to the point Sarutobi thought about canceling the meeting. This was really the first time Sarutobi had seen Arashi's wife up close. Arashi had always made an extraordinary attempt to keep his family life secret from his work as Hokage. He was always afraid the people he loved would be used against him.

"Just have a seat over here, Isolde." Jiriya whispered to her comfortingly.

Tsunadae greeted her as Jiriya took his seat. "What is it, old man?"

"I've asked you all here today for a consultation." He started. "Tsuandae, would you please?"

"Of course." She started. "Approximately two weeks ago, Aiko Hirosha came to the Village to meet with the Fourth Hokage."

Jiriya groaned inwardly. He knew where this was going. The brat in the Hospital that Tsunadae was taking care of was Aiko's child. He just so happened to look like the spitting image of Arashi. Against his better judgement, he knew deep in his heart that Arashi had fathered that child. He just wished that the circumstances were different and that Isolde didn't have to find out this way.

"She was apprehended for aiding and embedding a known 'S' rank criminal when she went into labor. Three medics appeared on the scene, but it was too late. Due to complications, probably from lack of prenatal care, Aiko died approximately ten minutes after her baby was born."

"That's so sad." Isolde said.

"The Fourth Hokage had requested to be notified if there were any attempts to escape or medical problems- so after the baby was delivered, we sent for him right away. He reported immediately. He asked to see the baby where he requested a paternity test."

"A paternity test?" Isolde questioned. "What do you mean?"

"Isolde, it came back positive to Arashi's DNA." She told her softly. "The Fourth is the baby's father."

Isolde just sat in silence for a minute before she burst into tears. Jirirya quickly took her into his arms and rocked her slowly, whispering to her soothingly. He looked at Tsunadae, almost as if to question her decision to tell her.

"I know that this isn't easy." Sarutobi picked up. "- but a decision needs to be reached about this situation. The baby is-

"The container of the Nine-Tails Fox." Jirirya finished. "Arashi always had a knack for making things worse for himself."

"The Nine-Tails doesn't seem to be interfering with any aspects of Naruto's health." Tsunadae said. "He's a perfectly healthy baby."

"I suggest putting him in the system." Jirirya spoke first. "No one needs to know that he's Arashi's child, or the container."

"I've spoken to his students." Sarutobi told him. "He's told Kakashi that the container should be reguarded as a hero."

"That'll never happen!" Jirirya told the old man. "He'll be taken as the death of Arashi! They'll treat him like_ he's_ the demon.. It's far better for him to just be left anonymous."

"We must respect Arashi's wishes, Jirirya." Sarutobi said calmly.

"He's right, Jirirya." Isolde finally spoke. "Arashi loved this Village more than anything. If they have even a fraction of the love he had for them, then they'll accept and do what he has requested."


	15. Life as a Liar

Kakashi woke up about an hour later after Rin had left for work. He couldn't stay asleep for very long since Arashi-Sensei had died. He kept having nightmares, not that he would ever let Rin know that. He was so careful to make sure that she was asleep before he let his ownself drift off to sleep. He didn't want to worry her more than he already had. She was still sick from her miscarriage even though she tried to hide it. Rin had never been good at hiding anything, sicknesses included. He would come home from somewhere and he would find her doubled over with abdominal pain. She'd make up stupid excuses like her back hurt and she was trying to pop it.

He found it odd that he had begun to think of Rin's apartment as home. He didn't even know why.

He decided that since she was at work today that he would drop by and bring her something for lunch. It would give him an excuse to check up on her. After that he would probably go and see if Asuma was up to anything. He could use the company. While always the loner, he had some things he needed to get off of his chest and he knew that Asuma would always be willing to listen.

He walked into Rin's adjoining bathroom and ran a shower. As much as it disturbed him, Kakashi couldn't help but think about Rin and Lord Nakaue for some reason. His instincts told him that something was going to happen soon, concerning Nakaue. It would happen whether he liked it or not. Rin had a bad habit of keeping certain things from Kakashi when she knew he didn't like something or was against it. The direct result of that was when the situation went sour, if there was anything Kakashi could have done to help her, it was normally way too late.

Rin wouldn't lie to him about something that life altering. Especially with all that had happened recently. They were all the other had now.

* * *

Rin knocked on the door of the Inn that Collin Nakaue was staying at. She had already gotten past the security by flashing her Medic's pass. She didn't feel comfortable identifying herself as the woman Lord Nakaue intended to have a child with so she told them that she was his personal medic. Saying she was going to be the mother of his child had felt wrong inside her own head and so it would definitely sound wrong out loud. She considering going home and just forget that she was ever here, but knew that it wasn't an option. 

The door swung open to reveal the tall, ebony-eyed Lord. He looked surprised to see her. "Hey, Rin." He greeted.

She smiled softly, physically unable to look him in the eye. "Hey." She mumbled. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." He told her, standing to the side to allow her in.

He watched her sit her bag down along with her stethoscope. "House visit?" He asked.

"Sort of." She mumbled. "I got your letter." She told him, holding up the envelope for him to see. "I came to talk to you."

"Sure." He told her.

"I just wanted to thank you for being so patient about this whole thing." She started. "I know that you must be busy and the last thing you really needed was some little medic girl stalling the process." She told him.

"Rin, you don't have to thank me." He interrupted. "I know that it couldn't have been easy for you to accept. When I went into this deal, I thought you were older. By the time they told me your real age, they also told me that you were the only woman in the Inuzuka clan really capable of having, y'know, children." He explained.

Tears gathered in Rin's eyes as she thought about the past year. She couldn't believe that so much had happened. In less than a year, she had lost both Arashi-Sensei and Obito, both of which she had loved dearly. It might have been her reason for coming to Collin's house the way she had. His presence was hauntingly close to Obito's. He had the same dark eyes that seemed to stare through her and through any secrets as well. Some where deep inside, she just wanted to feel secure again, like she had when she was with Obito.

He held his arms out for her as she walked into them, grateful for any source of comfort. Even if that comfort came in the arms of the man she'd convinced herself was the enemy. She'd gone through every obstacle to avoid him since her miscarriage. She didn't want to see the man who'd installed false hopes in her and now she was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms.

"Don't cry, Rin." He soothed. "You'll get through this."

_"Protect her, for me, Kakashi." His weak voice gasped. "You'll get through this."_ She heard Obito's voice as if it were a breeze. It did nothing to help her already weakened emotional state.

He mercifully caught her as her knees buckled out from under her. He gently lowered her to the bedroom floor as she pressed her forehead into his shoulder, desperate for her tears to stop.

* * *

Kakashi bought lunch for both him and Rin at one of her favorite restaurants and headed for the Hospital. She would be getting off for lunch soon. He was hoping that he would catch her before she left to go back to her apartment. She would get scared if she got back and he wasn't there. 

He walked up to the receptionist desk.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes. I need Medic Inuzuka." He told her.

The receptionist looked at him oddly. "Um, Rin's on leave." She told Kakashi slowly. "She's not due back until a month from now." She said, double checking her statement on the computer in front of her.

"Are you sure?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. Lady Tsunade's orders." She told Kakashi, showing him the computer screen.

Kakashi thanked the receptionist and left the Hospital, feeling oddly stoic. He couldn't believe that Rin had lied to him about where she was going. He had a million questions that ran through his head and he knew that half of them would never have their answer. What did she expect him to do if he knew the truth? In his left hand, he still clutched the food that he had bought for them. He angrily threw it into a nearby trash-can. He suddenly wasn't so hungry anymore.


	16. Till Death Do Us Part

Kakashi walked back to the apartment, not knowing what else to do with himself. He thought about walking around town, but decided against it. It hadn't been long enough, the Villagers weren't ready to move on and he wasn't ready to be felt sorry for yet. It never failed, just as soon as Kakashi grew attached to someone like Arashi-Sensei, they martyred themselves. Arashi was dead and the Village was still in a state of deep, crippling grief- much like Kakashi himself.

He couldn't handle plastering yet another fake smile and thanking some well-meaning citizen for their condolences. He didn't need the condolences. He didn't need the sympathetic looks. He didn't need people to ask Rin if he was okay when they were together in town when they thought he couldn't hear them. All he needed was Rin Inuzuka. She was the only thing he truly _needed_.

He didn't need the extra attention, or extra of anything. He didn't need it- he didn't want it. He wasn't the Hokage. It wasn't his job and if he had any word for it, he would never be. The "Hokage" was just a title- it had made Arashi no more or less human than before he had received it. It was a responsibility, and one that Arashi-Sensei had never taken lightly. To Kakashi, it was just a word. A title. A title that had gotten everybody killed. He would never have sacrificed himself like Arashi had. He would never make the people who loved him deal with that mess. The knowledge of knowing that the answer to the hardest question of all was simple- made it damn hard to sleep at night or even function.

What was worth your own existence?

His father had first answered that. It had been the first major traumatic incident in Kakashi's life.

Konoha's White Fang, the most distinguished ANBU member- the best at everything Kakashi had seen him try-, his life meant nothing to him. He martyred himself because of a bad rumor- a bad mission. The only family Kakashi had left in the world had taken his own life over his reputation among the Village. White Fang never considered what that meant for Kakashi. He never once thought about his only son or the legacy that he would leave him. Not once.

Kakashi fought with himself over that for years afterward, to an extent he still did, and probably always would.

He'd had no idea whether or not to defend what his father had done. He didn't understand. The entire universe was hazy for what seemed like years. He didn't know how to adjust to truly being alone. He had no idea where he would go or who he would stay with. He had turned eight years old three weeks before White Fang's heinous act, he wasn't old enough to do for himself even though he was closer by the day.

He was just so angry with White Fang. He was so selfish. He did nothing unless it somehow benefited him. How could a person even be expected to defend a man like that?

However difficult, Kakashi did so blindly. He defended White Fang until it nearly destroyed him from the inside out- until Arashi-Sensei had finally managed to teach him to let it go. No matter how much he hated the man that had slayed himself in front of his son- he would always love his father. He would never admit that to anybody. Not even Arashi- the only man on the planet he felt he could trust with the vulnerability that accompanied the painful subject. He never told Arashi anything about his feelings. Ninjas weren't even supposed to have them.

Arashi-Sensei always looked for a way to make a better situation out of a bad one. He could turn any mission around- make anything seem less important. They were just some of the things Kakashi admired about his Sensei. Small things that had long been lost in the shadow of being the Hokage. They were things the Villagers had long forgotten.

He would trade anything to be able to forget Arashi's presence. It would make it so much easier for him to let Arashi go. As he was still learning from Obito's death, if he were ever going to survive it- he would have to let him go. Just as he had done his father.

He was curious as to what would become of Arashi and Isolde's child. He wondered just exactly how she planned to raise such an important descendant in this Village to lead a normal life. It seemed impossible to Kakashi. He would never attempt it.

Somehow, with so much to worry about, nothing seemed to matter. It was all over-shadowed by the images of Rin and Collin Nakaue that his mind created. Rin had lied to him. She had lead him along all this time and made him believe the fallacy that she loved him. It tore him to pieces as his heart shattered. He could die by the fact that the only person he had left in the world would betray him so easily; with so little conscience.

* * *

Jiriya exhaled deeply as he sat on the edge of what used be Arashi and Isolde's bed in the Hokage mannor. He sat silently as he watched her throw clothes into a large black suitcase. Understandably upset over her new discovery of her husband's infedility, she was going to stay with some relatives in another country until she delivered. She made several good points as to why it was a necessary action, but he still wasn't sure. He couldn't protect her if she left Konoha. If something were to happen to her or Arashi's baby Jiriya would never forgive himself. Arashi had sacrificed himself in mind of a safe Village- he couldn't believe that she was going to deny his child the right to enjoy it.

He knew Isolde well enough to know that once she left- that's how it would stay. She would never return to the place that she had adopted as her home. She would never come back to the place her husband had died. She probably would never even speak of it again. Not to their baby- not to anybody.

"Are you sure?" He asked simply for at least the hundredth time.

"Jirirya-Sensei." She sighed. "How can you ask me to stay?" She asked, heart-break evident in her voice.

He tensed at hearing his name put into the regard of Sensei. It wasn't unusual for her to call him that, she always had. It was how Arashi had introduced him to her and it was the way she felt most comfortable addressing him. He just didn't like hearing that term. He loathed it actually. He didn't feel like he had deserved the recognition. He had miserably failed all three of his students on multiple occasions, all up unitl their deaths. Arashi and Aiko had even died within two days of each other. He couldn't believe that before he was fifty-he had buried all three of his pupils. The most precious thing he had ever received was gone forever.

He clenched his fists tightly as he gritted his teeth in an effort to ebb the tears that threatened to fall. He hoped that with time the pain of failure lessened- but for now it was unbearable. He couldn't forget their faces-as children or adults.

"I want to look out for you, Isolde." He told her gently, not moving from his spot on the edge of the bed.

"I'm old enough to look out for myself." She told him as if she had been his student. "I'll be fine."

He had decided it was better to back off of the subject. He had pestered her about it since she'd told him.

"What do you want done with Arashi's things?" He asked, pointing to the boxes in the corner that he had helped her pack a week ago. He had packed the majority of it himself- it had gotten to be more than she could handle.

"What matters of it, give to his son." She told him, obviously giving great thought about the decision. "The rest of it can go to the next Hokage and whatever is left can just be thrown out."

"You're talking about Naruto?" He asked her. "He doesn't need these things- especially once he's been adopted as someone else's son."

"Trust me. He'll want to know where he comes from. I want him to know the more intimate Arashi- not the show he put on for the Village."

"I'm tellin' you, Isolde. The Fourth is never going to let anyone know that he's Arashi's child. It's just not becoming."


	17. Betrayed

Rin woke up in an unfamiliar bed. She sat up slowly, taking a few breaths to calm her wild adrenaline rush. She looked around the hotel room, noticing that it was well lived in for such a blank and unpersonalized place. She wondered why she was here and where Kakashi was- if they were taken hostage.She didn't know where she was, not until she looked to her left and saw a sleeping Lord Nakaue. She hung her head in embarrassment as she realized just how exactly she had wound up here. She groaned at her stupidity. She hadn't even gotten over what had happened to Arashi-Sensei, let alone her own miscarriage.

She sighed in sadness, knowing that if Kakashi ever found out the full truth, well, she didn't even want to think about it.

"Be careful running out of here." A soft voice grumbled.

She looked over to where it had come from, and saw that "he" was awake.

"This wasn't safe. I just had a-

"Miscarriage?" He asked. "Your Sensei told me at the hospital. It's was, what, not even three weeks ago?"

"I never wanted you to know." She told him. "I'm sorry."

"Rin, it wasn't mine, was it?" He asked softly. "Tell me the truth. I think you should tell somebody the truth." He told her honestly.

Rin could have cried from the sincerity in his voice. It didn't take much to know that he was talking about Kakashi. She had put so much effort into making sure that she didn't put any kind of pressure on Kakashi that she had wound up completely distant from him. It hurt more than all of the physical pain that she had gone through lately to realize that. She and Kakashi used to be so close and now it she felt like she didn't even know him. It was just like when they first met, when he was the distant one. It hurt so bad to know that now it was her that kept the distance. It was her that was lying to him. It was her that pushed him away. She remembered how difficult it had been. Kakashi just didn't know how to relate to people of any sort, and it was even worse with people his own age. It was so difficult to just let him come to her in his own time. Now, she had thrown it away-all away. She'd done it for absolutely no good reason.

"It was Kakashi's." She cried. "I-I just couldn't tell him. He couldn't handle it-

He wrapped his arms around her, knowing that the last year was the most traumatic she'd ever gone through. He would do just about anything to make her feel like this wasn't her fault. He'd do anything for her to make her feel better. He'd do anything for her anyway. He was in love with her. "It's okay, Rin. I know that you had your reasons."

"No reason was good enough for what I've done. I just wanted to help him. I'm a Medic, I just wanted what was best for his health."

"Which is better than what anyone else has done for him." He interrupted sternly. "You can tell from his disposition, the guy has been alone for his whole life."

"Not his whole life." Rin amended, wiping her eyes. "He's always had me since he met me. We're a team."

"Oh." Nakaue said, undoubtedly feeling a little unsettled by her statement. Rin climbed out from his embrace and finished putting her clothes back on.

"I can't replace Kakashi. He's my best friend." She told him. "He's my-my everything, and I'm not willing to let him go. Not when I can help it." She said as she headed for the door.

"I see."

"I'm sorry, Collin. I am. You know I am." She said with a heavy heart. "It's just-

"He's where your heart is?" He asked.

She nodded. "I'll have a child for you, like I'm required to, but I'm not in love with you. Someone else has my heart."

* * *

Kakashi took a slow drag of the cigarette that Asuma had handed him. Kakashi hated feeling like this. Feeling like he had no place to go and no one to talk to made it feel like the world was caving in on him even more than normal, so he turned to his closest Chuunin friend. Asuma hadn't been busy, so it seemed fitting that he be the person Kakashi told about Rin's complete betrayal of his trust. Asuma was normally reluctant to share his carton of cigarettes, knowing that his father had made a deal with the market keeper to ration out his cigarettes so he only got four boxes a month. He normally only handed them out to women he was trying to seduce and if people where willing to pay for it, but he made an exception once Kakashi started telling him of his most recent troubles. Asuma of all people knew what it was like to be lied to by people he trusted. His whole family was surrounded by secrets- things they couldn't share with friends because it was a reasonable security leak. Kakashi thought that it had to be tough.

"Are you sure that she's with that guy?" Asuma asked. "It just doesn't seem like Rin."

"He brought her a letter two days before Arashi died." Kakashi told him heatedly. "I don't know what it said, but she's not at work. She's not due to report back for another month." Kakashi relived miserably. "I hate this. I can't believe that she did this."

"A letter, huh?" Asuma asked. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. I don't care." Kakashi dismissed. "Rin lied to me. And, I'm willing to bet she's with Nakaue." He said tapping the ash from his cancer stick.

"Kakashi, you have to understand that she's in that messed up deal to have his baby." Asuma tried to reason. "She's probably trying to get that over with, so things will go back to normal once and for all."

"She could just tell me that." Kakashi mumbled.

Asuma smiled and shook his head. "No man, not really." He said light heartily. "You'd talk her out of it, which is why she didn't tell you."

"I can't handle her lying to me, about anything." Kakashi confessed. "With Arashi dead, she's all I've got."

"I'm sorry, bro." Asuma sympathized, imagining the pain of losing his Sensei, knowing it would be unbearable. "You know I'm here, if you need anythin-

"I know." He interrupted, taking a slow clean breath. "-but what I need right now, is her."

Asuma shook his head, a small smile appearing on his lips. "She never left you man. Rin's just trying to live up to everything Arashi set for her, even the unfortunate."

He exhaled and squeezed his eyes shut, never feeling such a complete loss of control. He felt like the universe had taken back its control and set out to destroy him. First by killing Obito, then having Arashi-Sensei martyr himself while Kakashi was on the field. The world knew that the last thing he could take was feeling like he couldn't trust Rin. For the first time since he was eight, he felt orphaned. Orphaned by Arashi.

Arashi-Sensei had broken his promise that he'd made to him when Kakashi was just starting out as a Genin. He promised that no matter what, he would never leave Kakashi to handle something that he couldn't. Kakashi clenched his fist so tight he thought that he felt his nails pierce his skin and he forced himself to open his eyes to check his palm.

"Kakashi, man, your eye." Asuma said gently. "It's a mess. You're bleeding." He told him as he fished around for something to apply pressure with.

"Goddamn it." Kakashi swore to himself softly as he cupped the damaged eye gently.

He then felt the wave of stinging pain that he hadn't felt since his last stay in the hospital. He hadn't only torn the stitch, he'd activated the Sharingan. His head spun as the eye recorded the three, sometimes four dimensional spaces of Asuma's house. It scanned for other presence and completely flipped out when it found Asuma, analyzing every inch of his Chuunin vest, demanding to figure out where all of his weapons were. Kakashi was stunned. He couldn't control it at all, it was like watching a T.V. screen. It had never been like that before.

With the bleeding, Kakashi wondered if he'd severed the main nerve, the one that connected Obito's eye to him.

As another wave of intense pain hit, Kakashi felt himself slipping into unconsciousness.


	18. Goodbye Love

Kakashi groaned as he came to in the hospital, feeling very disoriented. He managed to inhale, smelling the sterile cleaning products of the hospital that he hated. He wondered briefly for a moment where exactly he was and what he had done to land himself here. He couldn't remember anything as the grogginess of the anesthesia began to wear off. He blinked a couple times, feeling himself start to wake up. He tried to sit up, but couldn't find it in him to pull it off. His anxiety rose at the near paralysis. What had happened to him?

" 'Kashi?" A familiar, fear-stricken, feminine voice asked. Suddenly his vision focused to see Rin and Asuma standing over him.

He looked around the room, confirming to himself that he was, indeed, in the hospital.

"Hey, man." Asuma greeted slowly. "You all right?"

"What happened?" He forced out in a weak tone, knowing that his voice wouldn't work as well as it should.

"You passed out at my house, remember?" Asuma told him, attempting to jog his memory.

He'd wound up in the hospital with very little memory before and knew how terrifying it could be. These days, it was practically a hobby of Active-duty shinobi.

Asuma had to admit that even worse than taking Kakashi to the hospital was trying to console Rin. She'd convinced herself that Kakashi wasn't ever going to wake up again and that it was somehow her fault. She was the only person that had ever made him actually regret calling them. She was so terrified that he would die in simple operation- no matter what he did to try to reassure her. He'd never seen anybody that afraid before and he'd been in battle.

Kakashi shook his head, reaching up to his face and gently prodding the facial muscles under his eyes, trying to better stimulate consciousness. "Don't 'member." He grumbled.

Rin remained painfully silent as she took his pulse. Asuma gave her a strange look. After all the stressing she did since she'd gotten here- she didn't even so much as hug him. Whatever had happened between the two of them had apparently been enough to shock her into silence. Kakashi was right. There was something completely off about her. She _had_been with Nakaue.

Kakashi looked up at her when she took his wrist in her hands, giving her a silent glare. He clearly hadn't forgotten about what had brought him over to Asuma's house in the first place. She'd lied to him about working, and to make matters worse, he'd caught her with Nakaue. She'd lied to him.

She tried to ignore his glares, but it was painfully obvious that she felt them. It bothered Asuma to seem them interact this way when it wasn't even a week ago that they were laughing together because they were winning a board game against him and Kurenai.

"What'd they do to me?" He asked her harshly, running a single digit across the lower piece of medical tape that kept his eye thoroughly bandaged.

"The eye was damaged again from infection, and all the stitches were torn or damaged, so they had to completely re-do your surgery." She informed him stoically, as if he were a patient that she had just met.

The ironic thing was she wasn't even on duty. She was only taking his pulse and respiration to satisfy her own panic for his health.

He cursed. "That's perfect. So, what, I'm back at square one?" He asked her angrily.

"Kakashi, chill out." Asuma interrupted coolly. "She doesn't know. You can ask your medic when she comes to check on you."

Kakashi fell silent after Asuma's interruption. He couldn't believe that he was defending Rin. He was sure that it had been Asuma's doing that she was even here in the first place. He didn't have the sense to leave her out of the loop when Kakashi had originally come over to his house in a complete emotional wreck because of her.

"I'm going to go get somethin' to drink." Asuma announced. "You two want anything?"

They both politely declined and Asuma slipped out of the room, leaving behind an intense silence that made them both uncomfortable. Kaksahi shifted a few times, trying to relieve the pressure of the heavy air in his lungs. He hated surgery. He hated it more than he hated looking into Rin's big doe eyes and seeing the heavy guilt that harbored in them. He knew that she'd probably had that same guilt since she got Asuma's phone call.

"Asuma told me everything." She apologized quietly, looking at a carefully chosen spot in the floor. " I'm sorry, 'Kashi."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised." He commented surly. "Asuma always was a narc."

"I know that I should have told you-but Kakashi, you have to understand that I couldn't." She confessed. "I tried. I really, really did." She managed before her tears took control of her.

He blew air out of his nose in an exasperated sigh. He hated it when Rin cried. She wrapped her arms around herself and would hunch over like a defenseless little girl. He hated it because he wanted nothing more for her to have everything she ever wanted so that she would never cry again. He hated it because she was Rin-and he loved her.

He was silent for a moment or two. He couldn't come up with anything to say. He wasn't sorry and he didn't forgive her.

"Go back to Nakaue." He finally spoke. "Just leave me alone."

"W-what?" She asked, holding her hands to her face in a desperate effort to ebb the tears.

"I. Said. 'Go. Back. To. Nakaue.'." He told her harshly, forcing his voice to be louder even though it pained him.

" 'Kashi- please talk to me." She begged. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You know that I would never hurt you." She repeated.

"No, Rin!" He interrupted. "I _thought _I knew. I thought I knew a lot of things and it turns out that I don't." He said, pulling his fingers into a fist. "Obito. Arashi. **You**." He whispered, trailing off.

She came to his side, sitting down beside him when he wouldn't meet her gaze. "I know that it hurts Kakashi. I've watched you hurt for the past two years-even longer! I'm sorry for what I did. Please talk to me." She begged, holding his hand and lacing her fingers with his. "I-I love you. Just say that you'll take me back... ."

He finally looked up, but still refused to look at her. He inhaled through his nose, too afraid to open his mouth.

She hadn't showered yet. He could tell because with her this close to him, he could smell Nakaue on her. He could smell the ashen scent of is customs in her clothes. He could smell the sex. He never thought that he'd live to see a day when Rin appalled him. Rin, his only friend for the past year. He never thought he'd hate her as much as he did right now.

"No.." He whispered, jerking his hand back.

"D-Don't s-say that." She begged, pulling him closer to her, trying to hold him like she had so many times before.

"I said NO!" He yelled, shoving her away from him. The abrupt movement startled Rin, causing her to fall backwards.

"This year has been hell for me too!" She screamed back at him. "You didn't even like Obito before he died! He was the closest thing to a real friend-to family I ever had, I loved him! Then after he died, Tsume and Arashi-Sensei decided, without me, that it's perfectly acceptable to sell me to Collin Nakaue!" She paused to take a breath in, completely frazzled by memory. "You can't understand what it's like to be carrying life one minute-and in a split second have it taken away from you by some fault of your own!" She cried. "I-I just don't want to lose you over this.."

"I hate you." He mumbled.

She forced herself to look at him, tears staining her cheeks. "W-What?"

"You think that you're the only person who lost them?!" He asked harshly. "I fucking hate you! Do you have any idea what this has done to me, Rin? Do you?!"

" I'm sorry, Kakashi! You know that I am. Please! 'Kashi, we can get through this. I know we can!"

"I don't love you, okay?!" He yelled harshly at her, just wanting her to disappear. She'd never confronted him like this before and he hated it. "Just leave."

Stunned, Rin made her way towards the door. "Fine." She gave in and disappeared out the door.

* * *

Asuma was headed back to Kakashi's hospital room when he saw Rin running down the hallway in tears. He hadn't seen her this upset since Arashi had died. Instantly fearing the worst, he knew that he had to figure out what was wrong. Kakashi was really angry when he left.

Whatever had happened, he couldn't let Kakashi run Rin off. She was all he had to hold him together now, literally.

He put his drink in his Chuunin vest and caught her by the arms. There was no doubt she could barely see through her tear filled eyes.

"Rin, what happened?" He asked gently.

She didn't answer him for a few moments and gazed off towards the floor. "Rin?" He asked, shaking her gently to remind her of where she was. She was in complete shock.

" I've gotta go. He doesn't want me.. He does-doesn't love me." She told him softly. "Let me go." She pleaded. "Please Asuma. Just let me go."


	19. Love Is As Love Does

**A/N:Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter!**

After attempting to interrogate Rin for another five minutes, calming her down a little, and making her swear that she was going straight home, Asuma let her go. He didn't want to hold her in a place she didn't want to be.

Kakashi had really hurt her this time. Asuma had never seen her that upset in his life and he'd known Rin forever. The Inuzuka compound was only down the block from where his parents lived. For God's sake, they went to the same grade school before the Ninja Academy. She'd never cried that hard. Not even as a child had Rin cried as hard as she did when she'd had that fight with Kakashi.

"What 'as he done?" Asuma asked to himself.

It infuriated Asuma to no end as he stomped down the hallway towards Kakashi's room. Kakashi had no right to upset Rin the way he did. She'd done nothing but help him in the past few months, despite whatever it happened to cause her. It was in Rin's nature to care about people, even when they were as selfish as Kakashi Hatake.

As he threw the door to Kakashi's room open, he saw Kakashi standing by the window. He didn't seem to be aware of anything but himself and the ground three floors under him.

"You **miserable **son of a bitch!" Asuma cursed, his hands making fists almost autnomically. "What the fuck is **wrong** with you?!"

"Don't." Kakashi growled, turning away from Asuma and facing the window as if he would jump from it.

"Don't you tell me "Don't."!" Asuma demanded, crossing the room with speed and precise skill. Suddenly, he felt his hands catch Kakashi's throat and slam him against the nearest wall, dangling him inches away from the floor. "You didn't have to be so Goddamned mean to her! She didn't do _anything _wrong!" Asuma yelled.

"She didn't-tell." Kakashi managed to say between gasps for air, clawing at Asuma's arm for the room to breathe.

"How many times do I have to explain it to you?" Asuma asked frustratedly. "She was scared to tell you because she knew that'd you would react the way you did! She was SCARED to tell you, Kakashi! She's a Goddamned kunoichi, and she's scared of **you**!"

Without any thought or hesitation, Asuma swung at Kakashi before he could stop himself. It connected just below his post-operation eye. Kakashi cried out in pain, falling limp in Asuma's grasp. After the first punch had landed, Asuma couldn't help but swing again and again, finding it hard to stop. His fist found it's mark against his best friend's ribs, stomach and jaw with little remorse.

He finally forced himself to release Kakashi and watched him pitifully slump to the floor. He coughed weakly and had been roughed up, but he didn't look injured. Asuma had managed not to bring blood.

"I'm glad she left you, Kakashi! You don't deserve her, and you never fucking did!" Asuma told him, nudging him with his big boot. "You ran her off. You did this to yourself, now you've got to live with it. Don't dare to go see her or beg her to take you back! If you do, I'll kill you." He warned.

As he turned to leave, he threw the butt of his cigarette out the window. "I honestly didn't think you were that selfish." He mumbled, slamming the Hospital room door shut.

Once Kakashi was sure that Asuma was gone for good, he forced himself up from the floor into a sitting position. Kakashi brought his hand up to his face where it was stinging the worst. He felt like he wanted to die. As he saw the open window with the door swinging back and forth in the wind, almost in an inviting way, he thought about what he'd said to Rin.

_"I fucking hate you! Do you have any idea what this has done to me, Rin? Do you?!"_

Kakashi finally gave up trying to justify it to himself. He just was that selfish. He hadn't meant what he told her. He hadn't meant a single word of any of it. Rin Inuzuka was the only person who loved him in the **entire **world and he'd given it all up in a single argument. He'd driven her away because he had been afraid to lose her to Collin Nakaue.

He choked as his sobs grew stronger and he found himself back on the floor, right where Asuma had left him. "I'm sorry." He apologized as if she were next to him. But it was too late. She was gone.

* * *

Asuma knocked on the door or Rin's apartment just as the sun set. He wanted to check on her before he went home for the night. He had to leave in the morning for a mission. If she needed anything, he needed to know while there was still time for him to do something about it.

"Rin?" He called as knocked once more. "Come'on, Rin. I know you're in there...at least you better be."

The door finally swung open, even if he almost wished it hadn't. "Hey." She mumbled, not looking at him at all.

"Can I come in?" He asked, looking past her into the apartment. He couldn't stand to see how destroyed she looked.

"I'm sorry, Asuma, but I'm really, really busy right now. Y'know?" She asked him, scratching her forehead nervously. Asuma watched her closely and noticed that her normally bright eyes were dulled and dilated.

"Have you taken anything today?" He asked, pushing past her into the apartment, invited or not.

"Just something for anxiety." She told him quietly. "I couldn't breathe by the time I got home."

"What else?" He questioned, going through the collection of orange prescription bottles that laid on her coffee table in the living room.

"Nothin." She said, walking past him into her bedroom. She knew that it was futile to try and kick him out. Whenever things went sour between her and Kakashi, Asuma had always been the one to smooth them over. It was what he was attempting to do now, whether he knew it or not.

He followed her into her bedroom, uninvited. He was amazed by how much of Kakashi's stuff was here. He could almost feel his presence in the scent of the lingering cologne and air spray deodorants. Kakashi hadn't been kidding when he'd said that they were practically living with each other. He was caught off guard was startled by the demanding presence of Rins biggest suitcase lying on her queen sized bed.

"Are you going somewhere?" He asked Rin carefully.

She swallowed as she began to finish packing the suitcase. "I called Collin after I got home, and told him what had happened." She said in a soft and quiet tone, as if she were reliving everything Kakashi had said and done. "He offered to let me live with him, in the Castle of Fire. It's where he lives." She explained carefully."-and I told him yes, that I would love to."

Asuma forced his jaw from the floor and gathered his composure. The place she was talking about was at least two hundred miles away, if not more. "He didn't mean what he said, Rin." Asuma told her softly. "He's nothing without you."

Tears filled her eyes as he reached out to touch her arm. "There's nothing I can do for 'Kashi." She said strongly, turning back to finish packing. "He has to do that for himself."

Asuma nodded, knowing that it was the exact truth. "Keep in touch." He told her. "You have my address."


	20. Life Ain't Always Beautiful

**A/N: So, some of y'all asked me questions about the story plot because you were confused about some things...I answered those as best as possible and if there's anything else I can clear up please feel free to ask. If you didn't ask me but still have questions, go ahead and ask those too.**

Thanks to all of you who reviewed.

* * *

Kakashi was released from the hospital three days later. The first thing he did was get something real to eat that hadn't come in contact with the hospital. After that, he went to his apartment to get clean clothes since he knew that he shouldn't be at Rin's. He came home to find it stuffy since he hadn't been home in nearly three months, and the air conditioning had been off even longer. It felt like no one had ever lived there.

He found himself missing Rin.

Asuma had left for an important mission yesterday in order to get a better paying job outside of Konoha. He envied that. He'd kill to be able to go out on an ANBU mission or two right now. His problems with Rin were too much to handle and he wanted a way out of it. He was tired of fighting. Tired of arguing. He just wanted things to be like they were. He missed it.

The sad thing was that none of it was really either of their faults. Rin couldn't help what had been assigned to her. He couldn't help that Obito had made him promise to care of Rin. There was nothing that either of them could do about it. They couldn't control it-- only live with it.

He couldn't help but feel sick as the guilt sunk in his stomach. He hadn't felt this horrible since she'd first told him about what Lady Inuzuka had agreed to and they had their first big fight. He'd called her family weak. He'd undermined their system of command. He'd insulted her. He'd been hateful to her--all after he'd taken advantage of her.

_"I hate you." He mumbled._

_"What is it Rin? What about the Inuzuka clan makes them good enough for the Nakaues?" He demanded._

Obito would have killed him if he'd heard him talk to Rin like that. Obito would have killed him anyway. He'd done the exact opposite of what he'd promised to do, just like he always did. Kakashi had done a great job of hurting her more than any kind of foreign enemy could have.

He decided that what he and Rin needed was time away from each other. He couldn't be around her while she let this stranger take the ultimate advantage of her. It wasn't her fault and it wasn't fair for him to act like it was. As far as his promises went, they just didn't matter anymore.

He'd already failed Obito countless times; giving Rin some space would be on the bottom of the list of wrongs. Rin didn't deserve the way he had treated her. She didn't deserve any of the horrible things he'd said and done. For someone he claimed that he loved, he sure had a hell of a way of showing it.

He had to apologize to her. He had to at least try and make it right. He owed her more than his absence. He owed her more than he'd ever be able to give her.

He felt hurt that Rin hadn't come back to see him while he was in the hospital. It reminded him of when Arashi had skipped out on him after Obito died. It reminded him of the mission Obito died on. He reminded him of a lot of awful things that he didn't want to think about.

Suddenly, he was in front of her doorstep. He wasn't even aware that he had been close to her apartment.

He gathered all of his courage. In partial bravado, he quietly knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again, a little harder each time. He knocked again twice more, but there was still no answer. Silence. There wasn't even so much as the familiar noise of the puppy barking. The silence unnerved him. There was always noise coming from Rin's house. Whether it be the kettle whistling, Akamaru barking, or quiet music- noise was always present in her apartment. But now there was nothing at all.

The silence caused his anxiety to spike. If she wasn't home where could she be? Had he been so horrible to her that she would have moved away without telling him where she'd gone?

He was about to fish his key to her apartment from his pocket when Kurenai appeared from her apartment. She must have heard his panicked knocking.

"Hey, Kakashi." She said slowly, trying to gain his attention.

"Where's Rin?" He demanded to know.

"I'm..not sure." She told him warily, undoubtedly feeling uncomfortable with the apprehension Kakashi was exhibiting. She'd probably never seen a ninja lose his composure before. She'd probably never seen one knocking on a door like a panicking maniac.

After he couldn't find his keys, he looked over to the potted fern and hunted for the small key that was planted in the soil. When he couldn't find it either--he did something he hadn't done since his last mission with Obito-- he rammed the door.

"Kakashi." Kurenai said in surprise. "What're you doing?"

He ignored Kurenai and walked into Rin's apartment. He looked around the front rooms of the apartment, horrified by what he found. Everything was cleared out. All of her living room furniture was gone. All of her pictures were taken off of the wall. Even Akamaru's toy basket that used to sit in the corner was gone. It was all gone.

He wondered into the kitchen and threw open all of the cabinet doors. He marched into their bedroom, even looked into the small closet in the hallway looking for any sign of life in the apartment. Everything was gone. Everything was empty.

A cold feeling clenched his heart as he came to a horrible realization. Rin was gone and he didn't even know where to begin to find her again. She might be gone for good.

He turned around, startled by Kurenai sudden presence. "Are you sure that you don't know where she is?" He asked desperately.

Kurenai nodded. "Asuma might know." She told him with the sympathy he didn't deserve. "You can ask him when he gets back. He was here yesterday."

"You live next door to her, Kurenai!" He said in a meaner tone than he intended to. "Are you sure that you didn't see anybody moving her stuff? Akamaru? Anything?"

"The land lord was here yesterday to pick up her house keys-other than that no, I was gone most of the day." She said matter-of- factly. "You'll have to wait until Asuma gets home." She said flatly as she stomped out of the empty apartment.

Kakashi's breath hitched in his throat as the room widened from Kurenai's absence. He took a few uneven breaths, trying to calm his nerves. Suddenly it all felt so real. She'd taken all of her things without him knowing because of the way he'd treated her. His stomach knotted. He knew that he wasn't ever going to find her if she didn't want him to. She'd finally left him. Rin was gone.

"Oh, fuck." He gasped as he tried not to break down completely. He had to hold it together or he'd have to go back to surgery. "Rin.."

* * *

Three hours later, Kakashi was still in the empty apartment. He couldn't find the energy to move and he didn't really want to. He wanted Rin. He kept thinking of places Rin would go- places they'd been to together. He needed to know where she was. He needed to know that she was safe. He needed to know that she knew that he was sorry for everything he'd done to her.

He heard quiet footsteps approach him, but he still didn't move from his spot in the middle of the living room floor. "Um, Kakashi?" He heard Kurenai's semi-familiar voice ask. He turned to see her, noticing she had something in her hand.

"I checked Rin's mail when I went to go get mine. The flag was still up." She started. "There's somethin' in here for you." She explained handing something to him.

He looked at the piece of paper before opening it carefully. He wondered why there was something in Rin's mail-box for him. He felt his heart jump into his throat as he noticed Rin's neat hand-writing. She'd actually left him something.

Kakashi,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm safe. I moved out of Konoha, I think that it's better for the time being. We both know that you and I need some time a part. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I love you, Kakashi. I always will. I need to know that you're going to take care of yourself and be safe. I've asked Asuma to keep an eye on you, so please try to be nice to him.

Love always,

Rin

That was all she left him. That was all he deserved.


	21. Guardian Angels

Kakashi heard the door of his apartment swing open, but he didn't move. The locks had been taken off last week and he was now susceptible to any visitor. He'd figured out if he just lay still in his bedroom, people would think he wasn't home. If his intruder was somebody here to rob him, he didn't have anything worth stealing in his house anyways. Everything he cared about he'd kept at Rin's. When she'd packed it for him neatly into boxes, he couldn't bring himself to take them back out. They laid over in the corner, untouched.

Rin had been gone for a little over a month now. Even he had to admit that he was taking this better than he should have.

She'd been right about Asuma. He'd made it his life's mission to make sure Kakashi took care of himself. Kakashi had tried to lock his own door last week to keep him out, but that resulted in Asuma breaking his window in and removing the locks with a screw-driver when he got home from his mission. He didn't know when his relationship with Asuma had changed so drastically, but it was starting to grate on his nerves. Asuma used to stay out of his personal business-especially with women. Now, he'd kicked his ass over Rin and was trying to keep up with him like someone on suicide watch.

Which, given another history, Kakashi would have considered it. Life without Rin was getting harder by the day. The colors had faded to grey. Food had no taste. Nothing mattered anymore. He had all the symptoms of somebody who was trying to talk themselves into a lonely death.

"Kakashi?" A masculine voice rang throughout the pitiful apartment. "You said that you were going to get up today." He reminded irritably as he found his way into the bedroom.

"Forgot." He said simply. "There's nothing to do until they let me back on missions anyway." He said as he turned away from his intruder. He couldn't stand to look at Asuma anymore. It reminded him of what an idiot he'd been at the Hospital.

"Well, my day was fine. Thanks for asking." He said sarcastically as he sat on the edge of Kakashi's bed, lighting a cigarette.

"Your days are always fine, Asuma." Kakashi reminded, pulling a pillow over his head. "You wouldn't admit it if they weren't."

He shrugged. "May be true." He looked over to Kakashi. "Your days, however, always suck. You could be named the richest man in the Lands, marry the hottest woman ever, hell even be given your original vision back so you'd never have to have surgery again, and **still** you'd be the most miserable bastard on the planet." He stressed.

"What can I say, I'm a pessimist." He retorted, hoping that this little visit would be over soon.

"Yeah, on the subject of being the most miserable bastard on the planet. The Uchiha's want to know how your Sharingan is doing." He said quietly.

"Tell them they can shove it." Kakashi told him heatedly. "They barely gave Obito the burial he deserved. They don't deserve to wonder what happens with this piece of shit." He said, gently touching the cheek bones under his eye.

"Yeah. It's not like the Sharingan even works anyway." He agreed, putting out his cigarette on the heel of his boot in absence of an ash tray.

Thinking about Obito's funeral made Kakashi angry all over again. They'd paid for and held a funeral of a child instead for an honored shinobi. They didn't give him any of the medals or awards that they typically gave their wounded or dead. They didn't give a speech at his funeral. Barely any of the Uchiha's could be bothered to come but his biological parents and the head of the clan.

The Village Hidden in the Leaves mourned more for Obito than his own clan did.

They'd been upset with and shamed by Obito for giving the Sharingan to a non-clan member. The Uchiha's actually had the nerve to tell him that when Kakashi first came out of the hospital.

He was willing to bet that they had tried to shame Obito at his funeral, but Arashi-Sensei wouldn't stand for it as his Sensei. Being the Hokage had its perks.

" If it does, y'know, work. Someone's gonna have to teach you to use it." Asuma said, trying to sound like the voice of reason. "From what I hear, it drains chakra like water. It can kill you."

"Not interested."

"I'm just saying." Asuma said, finally standing. "I've got to get going. I'll come by later and bring you something to eat, okay?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Asuma left with that, leaving Kakashi to his peace, or whatever was left of it.

After about an hour of tossing and turning, Kakashi finally got comfortable enough to sleep.

Kakashi woke from a restful slumber, noticing that Obito stood over him as he awoke beneath the tree outside the Village. It startled him beyond recognition. He thought for a moment that maybe Collin Nakaue and Rin had returned to the Village before he came to his senses. Kakashi remembered this place. It was the place that Arashi-Sensei had picked when they had first been assigned to the same team.

Arashi had brought him out here a lot so they could talk in confidence. Kakashi had overcome so many of his demons there. He'd never felt more secure than he'd felt when he was surrounded by open space and his Sensei.

"Don't be afraid Kakashi." Obito soothed. "I'm not here to haunt you or anything."

"I'm dreaming right?" He asked his former team mate after he found his voice. "I've got to be dreaming."

"Well.." Obito said, his stare dropping to the left.

"Well what?"

"This is what the spirits call "an intervention"." He said gently. "I saw what happened with Rin." He explained. "He thinks that you need me."

Kakashi studied Obito's child like features. He always was the younger looking of the two of them. He was the one with a good heart. He was the team member who was late for a mission because he was helping the elderly. The more he thought about it, the more depressed he became. This was the wonderful person that Rin had turned down for him.

"Don't look so guilty." Obito tried to reason. "People would do anything for this kind of opportunity."

Kakashi knew that it was true. He'd do anything to be able to talk to all of the people that he'd lost. He'd never needed Arashi more than he did after he was gone. He probably wouldn't have been so horrible to Rin if he'd had his Sensei to be there to stop him.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "For everything. Fuck, Obito, I'm so sorry." He said, gasping for breath as emotion overwhelmed him. He could see it all so clearly in his head. The mission. The failure. The Rock shinobi who'd tried to finish the job after they'd crushed Obito beneath stone. Obito making him promise to take care of Rin no matter what. Rin's face when he told her he hated her.

That letter in the mailbox.

"Hey, hey. It's not your fault. You did everything you could." Obito reassured, wrapping his arms around Kakashi. He fell into his comrade's arms, returning the embrace. He wished that he'd done that so many times before. Of all the affection Rin and Obito had tried to show him in the early years, he couldn't be bothered to even say something nice to the young Uchiha. It was just true that people didn't know what they had until it was taken away from them.

"She left me. I finally ran her away." Kakashi confessed to Obito.

"I know." He promised. "Trust me. I know."

After Kakashi calmed himself down a little, Obito finished explaining the intervention to him.

"Arashi-Sensei decided that you needed to talk to me. He said that I was the deep root of your problems, besides y'know, your dad." He said uncomfortably. The two always made a concious effort to ignore the subject.

"Why didn't he come?" He asked with a sore voice.

"He can't. He's not the one you need." Obito explained patiently. "I know what happened with Rin. I just wanted you to know that I'm not angry with you at all. I know that it hurt you as much as it did her. But, it's not me that you need to apologize to." He said sheepishly. "She loved you, 'Kashi. In a way she always did."

"I know." Kakashi found himself saying. He'd heard it all from Rin before.

"I don't think that you know as much as you think that you do." Obito suggested. "Rin's number one concern was you. Now, it's herself and more importantly this baby."

Kakashi swallowed as he felt his stomach tighten. "She's pregnant?" He asked weakly.

Obito nodded. "-and when she comes back home, she's going to need you. More than ever. Don't let her down again, Kakashi. She can't handle it again."

"Okay." He said in a low whisper. "I will. I promise I will."

"Don't promise me." Obito corrected. "Promise yourself. Promise Rin." Obito told him, taking Kakashi's hand and pressing it against his chest, forcing Kakashi to feel his own wild heartbeat. "I'm never too far away, Kakashi. Just look inside you, to what makes you a person- a human being. "Just whatever you decide to do, don't give up."


	22. Guardian Angels II

**A/N: THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED! UM, TRY TO BE NICE TO THIS CHAPTER. I KNOW THAT IT PROBABLY SUCKS- BUT I HAD TO GIVE Y'ALL SOMETHIN'. IF IT SUCKS TOO BADLY TO BE DIGESTED, I'LL TAKE IT DOWN AND TRY AGAIN.**

* * *

Jiraiya carefully opened up a letter that had been addressed to him in perfect red cursive writing. He'd expected to hear from Isolde in the past few months but hadn't received any kind of news. Not about her. Not about the baby. Nothing.

He couldn't blame her. He knew her well enough to expect it. He wasn't sure if he himself could be asked to write to a Village who'd been reigned by the person he loved. He definitely couldn't write to the Sensei of the same someone he'd lost.

Still, he was holding a thick packet of papers, concealed in a neatly folded envelope that had been addressed to him. He could feel his heart pound wildly as if it were trying to to beat it's way out of his chest. He'd never been so upset over a letter before.

Whatever was in here rightfully belonged to Arashi and he had no way to give them to him.

He gathered up whatever was left of his courage and pulled the letters from their domain, realizing that some of them were actually pictures. He decided that he should read the letters before he looked at the pictures. It just seemed right somehow.

_Dear Jiraiya-Sensei,_

_I'm sorry that I haven't written yet. I've been really distracted by everything here and trying to settle down. But you would know that since you probably didn't expect a letter at all. True to your prediction, I had the baby before I even got the chance to unpack. I think that it was fate because he was born on Arashi's birthday. Isn't it odd?_

_Having this baby makes me realize how precious life really is and I hope that everything is going well for the Village and Arashi's students. I hope everything is going well for Naruto, and most importantly Sensei, I hope everything is going well for you._

_Because I knew that you would be upset if I didn't, I sent you some pictures of Tobias Arashi, my precious baby boy._

_You'll hear from us later, I promise._

_Love, _

_Isolde and Tobias_

He sat down the letter carefully as if he thought it would dissolve before his eyes if he wasn't careful with them. He took a breath before he tore into the rest of the package, looking for the pictures he had set down moments before. He wanted to see Arashi's son. He wanted to see the baby that Arashi had planned for. The child he was so nervous to be expecting.

He finally pulled them from the package. He flipped through them, looking at them closely for the baby and Isolde. A lot of them were of landscapes in Isolde's home village. She had a habit of taking pictures of even the simplest things that caught her eye.

He finally found the ones that had the baby in them. He noticed Isolde holding a newborn, looking exhausted and worn down, but she was beaming up at the camera with her same bright smile that he'd seen in the pictures she had taken with her husband only months before. He thought that this picture must have been taken shortly after Tobias was born. He looked at another one of the baby sleeping peacefully, wrapped up in a blanket with the Leaf symbol on it. Jiraiya couldn't help but smile. Their child was beautiful.

He saw the similarities between Arashi and the baby, but noted he looked more like Isolde. He had her gentle colored skin and dark colored hair. Though he undeniably had Arashi's bright blue eyes. It apparently was a dominant gene.

It had shown up in both of his sons.

* * *

Rin awoke in an extraordinary large bedroom that was the size of her whole apartment put together and probably a little bit of Kurenai's as well. It had taken a little while to get used to, but Rin was finally adjusting to life in the Castle of Fire. It was everything she'd imagined. It had beautiful works of art in every room and a maid to resident ratio of 3:1. The very first day she'd been there, Rin had been fitted for a whole new wardrobe.

She'd moved into Collin's wing of the castle which was about the size of a large stadium plus the Hokage Tower. She'd lived there for a month now and there were still rooms she hadn't been in yet. For somebody who had never left Konoha before in her life with the exception of the occasional mission, it was a huge adjustment.

Everything was a huge adjustment lately. Life was changing in front of her very eyes and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She couldn't control any of it and it made her feel desperate. She wondered sometimes if this was how Kakashi felt all the time.

She hated a lot of things lately which was something she never thought could happen. She felt lonely all the time. She felt alone in a room full of people, which had never happened to her. She used to be able to strive in any social situation. She used to be able to make friends out of strangers. She always had an optimistic nature. She used to be somebody that people confided in and appreciated-but that was all in Konoha. That life wasn't here in the castle.

She looked at the picture of Obito that she'd taken the year before last that she'd hung on the wall. She couldn't help but feel comforted by his bright smile. She always felt like he was looking out for her since she'd moved out of Konoha. For the first time in a long time, she felt his presence again.

"Hey, Rin-chan." A soft voice greeted timidly from behind her.

She whirled around, her eyes almost popping out of her head when she saw where the voice originated. Obito sat on her bed behind her in perfect health. He looked like he did the day of his last mission. He had the same charcoal faded jacket on, with the same nerdy orange goggles. She felt as if she'd fallen into a time warp and she was looking at him on that day. He was unscathed and his skin still held it's beautiful honey colored tan. Obito was perfect.

Her heart pounded in her chest so hard it felt like she was being stabbed. She lost her voice and most of her wind as her knees nearly buckled out from under her.

"O-Obi-Obito..." She managed.

"Don't be afraid, Rin. I'd never hurt you. You know that." He reassured. "We're just checkin' in on you." He said simply like he came to visit everyday.

"We?" She asked, knowing that she had to be about as pale as the walls behind her. "Who-Who's we?"

Obito rolled his eyes as he rose from the bed, stepping closer to her steadily as to not frighten her. "Try not to panic, Rin." He said comfortingly. "Sensei and I have been worried about you, and 'Kashi."

She felt her eyes practically glaze over. "He was horrible to me. I tried to reason with him, I really, really did." She told her best friend as her fingers curled into the fabric of his clothing when he put his arms under hers to help steady her balance.

"He's scared, Rin. Just as scared as you are." He said in his best mediator voice. "I know that I'm not exactly Kakashi's biggest fan, but the two of you need each other right now." He explained to her gently.

"He hates me. He said he hates me." She said as she swallowed thickly as she lost control of her breath.

"Listen to me, Rin. You have to listen." He prompted. "You're not going to make it out here. Not with what you've been asked to do." He stressed. "You're strong, Rin. But no one is this strong." He said as he moved a stray strand of her and tucked it behind her ear. He gave her a soft smile.

"I can't put this on him." She confessed to her best friend, giving off a dry cough. "He can't handle it."

"Yes, he can. We both know he can. What he can't take is being alone." He said as he supported her weight as she settled on the bedroom floor, unable to stand.

"I can't, Obito. Tell Sensei to ask me to do anything else. Just not go back." She cried shamelessly.

"I'm not asking for Sensei's sake. I'm not even asking for Kakashi's. I'm asking for yours and the baby." He said as he watched her arms wrap around her stomach protectively. "Do this for you. Do it for the baby. Do it for anything!" He begged. "You won't survive if you don't." He whispered as he gathered her in his arms in an effort to calm her.


	23. Bound by Fate

When Kakashi woke up, he had no idea what day it was. He had no idea what time it was. He had no comprehension of the last time he'd been awake, or what he'd done. His mind was so saturated with questions, he couldn't even think clearly. He suddenly heard the even rise and fall of someone's breathing next to him. He turned his head slowly almost afraid of what he would find.

His eyes landed on the person next to him. He realized that he knew her. He recognized her dark ember red hair and the honey-tanned skin. Her name was Akira. She was on his ANBU Black- Ops team before he'd gotten hurt on his last mission with Obito. She was also the second person Kakashi had slept with since Rin had abandoned any hope she had for him.

He felt his breath hitch in his throat as his chest tightened. He laid there, watching her breathe- lost in his own frustration. _Why_had she let him do this to her? Akira had always been smarter than that. Had she not heard of all the nasty rumors that had been started about the reason Rin left? Did she not remember how much of an arrogant, sorry bastard he was and always had been?

Kakashi forced himself out of bed. He was tired of lying down. Every muscle in his body begged for movement. He walked around his room a few times, picking up bits of shrivelled up paper and throwing them away. He'd ruined them by folding them millions of times in different directions to keep his hands busy when Rin weighed heavily on his mind, which was pretty much all of the time.

After he was tired of looking at the grey, tabacco stained walls of his bedroom, he ventured out into the living room. He looked around his own house since the day he'd moved in it. He realized that he had lived here for two years since he'd made Jounin. He'd paid rent on this very room for two long years, but he didn't feel like he'd ever lived here. It was like a strange place that he housed in during a mission. Just as unfamiliar. Just as stale.

He wanted to train, to exercise. He wanted to throw kunai and a few shuriken at a moving target. He wanted to be praised for his efforts as a Jounin. He wanted to feel like a ninja again. He wanted to feel alive again.

He changed into some clean clothes, not bothering with a shower. He couldn't stand the idea of standing still that long. He couldn't stand the idea of being inside this building for another mili-second. He just wanted to go outside, to feel clean air on his skin and breathe in the cold winter that had come from the horrible autumn that he had hidden from. Maybe with the first full freeze- everything horrible he'd said and done would die with the plants.

He wrote a note for Akira that composed of three sentences telling her that he'd left and hinting that she should be gone by the time he got back. He couldn't face another reason to feel guilty.

Things were finally getting better since Rin ran away. He was still miserable and he still felt empty. But in some unexplicable way, Kakashi felt better. He hadn't felt like this since she'd left him. He hadn't felt even remotely lively until today. This was the first time he'd wanted anything at all in close to three months. The last time he felt this way, he met Sensei, Obito, and Rin. The three most important people in his life.

As he stepped onto his front porch, he felt the freezing air slap his face and exposed arms. It hurt good.

It felt good to feel something with this much intensity.

He stepped onto the street and began a slow, steady jog, knowing that his stamina would have taken an embarrassing, plummeting drop since he'd hardly moved in nearly a full season. He hadn't taken care of himself either. He ate whatever greasy excuse for food that Asuma brought over if he bothered to eat at all. He smoked with Asuma so much now that the carcinogenic health hazard didn't even bother his lungs anymore. Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he'd actually coughed due to a cigarette.

If he made it a mile today, he would be surprised. To be a healthy shinobi, you had to train and live as a healthy shinobi.

Kakashi hadn't done either.

About half way down his path, somebody caught his eye. He stopped directly, coming to a hault from a near run to a complete stop. He noticed a girl that stood about five foot four. She had dark amber colored hair. Her dark ebony eyes nearly matched them. He remembered those eyes. He dreamed about them in his nightmares. He remembered them when they looked at him in admiration. He remembered them when they betrayed her worry for him when he was in the hospital. He remembered their gentleness when she reassured him.

Her skin was nearly flawless with the exception of the dark circles under her eyes. Her skin had lost it's caramel colored tint. She was nearly as pale as the white fence post she stood next to. She looked cold. She looked scared.

He knew that she was. She was wearing purple war paint on her face, something she used to do before missions. It'd been an Inuzuka tradition that was as old as the clan itself. It made her feel brave. She'd painted it evenly across both cheeks, a gesture that told him that she wanted to hide from someone.

As he stared at her, he looked for any of it that used to be familiar. He didn't see any of that in them anymore.

As his eyes travelled down her body, he noticed the heavy jacket she wore. He also noticed the way she carried herself. She'd gained some extra weight. He remembered what Obito had said during his intervention. Rin was pregnant.

His eyes stuck to the bump. Anxiety flooded his body. It was all he could do to breathe in the cold air that had moments before felt liberating. He forced himself to walk towards her. He couldn't make her approach him. He couldn't bring himself to make her make her be as afraid as he was. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.

As he stood behind her, as invisible to her as the air, he wanted to embrace her. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to confess everything he'd hidden from her before and have her forgive him for it. He wanted her to trust him again. He wanted to be with her again-- in all of the ways he wouldn't let himself be before.

He cleared his throat before he spoke to rid all of the fear from his voice. "Hey, stranger." He said softly.

She turned around to face him, her expression harboring all of her emotion as it always had. She had dreaded coming home to face him. She was relieved to see him, to see he was in one piece, that he hadn't destroyed himself. She was afraid that he would see all of the ways that she'd destroyed herself. How she couldn't hold it together another second if he asked her if she was okay or how she was doing.

Her eyes began to well up with tears as she threw her arms around him, holding him tightly. He exhaled slowly as he wrapped his arms around her, being careful not to cause any harm the baby. He couldn't help but remember all of the pain and suffering she went through because of her miscarriage earlier in the year.

"I didn't think you would ever come back." He confessed into her shoulder. "Rin..."

He felt her tears against the base of his neck, seeping into his shirt against his collarbone. "I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

He held her tighter, still all too aware of the baby. "Don't be sorry." He whispered. "Rin. You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault."

"He came to me." She continued, still sobbing heavily into his shoulder. "Obito."

"I know. I saw him too." He told her, "Rin. For everything I did. For everything I said. I'm sorry. God, I don't think I've ever been as sorry. I'm sorry. " He repeated. "If you gave me the rest of our lives to show you how pathetically sorry I am it wouldn't be enough. I screwed everything up. You did things for me that you didn't have to do..things I didn't deserve. Things I still don't deserve. I don't hate you." He continued, saying the last sentence as solemnly as he'd ever said anything. "I never hated you. I could never hate you. No matter what you do."

"I'm pregnant." She whispered, her voice wavering on the last word. "When I ran away... I didn't think you wanted me."

"I know. Rin, don't ever think that I don't want you. I always wanted you, I just didn't know it. The only thing I did for the whole autumn was want you. The whole Village can back me up on that! I've messed up to. I drank. I smoked. I didn't go to the hospital for rehab like I was supposed to. I didn't go to meetings like I should. I-I've slept with other women." He hated to admit all of this to her. He hated to admit weakness. It went against his nature, but he felt like he had to come clean with her. If he didn't he could never be honest with her, and they could never move forward from last summer. "Forgive me..._Please_, Rin forgive me.."

He waited for what seemed like an eternity for her to answer. She just stood in his embrace as he held her tightly against him..too afraid to let her go or to look at her for emotion. "Say something. Hell, say _anything_.."

"I love you." She said in a barely audible tone. "I'm sorry...for everything I did to you...

"Shhh, sshh." He soothed, pulling her back from him and kissing her. He had wanted this so badly he felt like he was in a dream. He would die if he woke up from this. "Let's just forget about it, okay? Let's start over."

"Okay." She agreed softly, in a quiet uncertainty. She leaned forward and kissed him again. He forgot the way she kissed. Softly, fully, emotionally. Her kiss reminded him that he was human too. "Okay."


	24. Baby Blues

Kakashi watched Rin with a feeling of uncertainty in the bottom of his chest. As happy as he was to have her back in his life, he could sense that there was an underlying cause for her return. She seemed constantly distracted. She'd moved in with him, but that was the end of her progress as far as reintegrating went. Rin had been back in Konoha for almost two and a half weeks, but she hadn't unpacked a single box. She hadn't looked around for a new apartment. She hadn't tried to get her job back at the hospital. She hadn't gone back to the Inuzuka compound. She hadn't done anything that insinuated that she even wanted to be in Konoha. She didn't act like the Rin he'd known. There was something wrong with her. Worse than knowing that something was wrong was that she wouldn't tell him what it was, no matter what he did to get her to do so. It caused him to second guess all of his actions around her, and it had put a lot of stress on their fragile relationship.

"Rin. I know that I've been a little, pushy, lately. I'm sorry." He rehearsed to the mirror when she came in.

She stood for a moment in front of the door. He noted her over casual attire she was wearing. A pair of sweat pants and an over-sized shirt, her hair pulled up into a messy pony-tail. "Apology accepted." She told him softly, picking a matching jacket from the clothes that Nakaue had bought her.

He hated the aspect that Nakaue had bought her anything, let alone a whole new set of clothes. He tried not to let anything come between them, especially not things as petty as that. He did everything he could to not to let his discontent show. He tried not to look too hard into the face of change. He tried his best to ignore all of it. Every time he took a step towards progress, Rin took two steps backward. That bothered him more than anything else. That wasn't a part of who Rin was. Rin was innovative.

"So, you ready to tell me yet?" He asked, following her out of his bedroom as she pulled the jacket on.

"There's nothing to tell, Kakashi." She repeated. "I'm fine. Really, I am."

"So, why hasn't Nakaue shown up yet?" He asked. "You've got to go to the doctor soon. Don't you think that he should be here for that?"

"He didn't want to go back to Konoha. 'Said he didn't want to cause trouble for me." She explained as if she were hinting at something as she pulled on her shoes, still not meeting his gaze.

"Y'know what? If I raised as much hell as he did over the prospect of having children, I'd be damn sure I protected the investment." He told her feverishly as he threw on his ANBU uniform. He had an interview today since he had finally been cleared by Lady Tsunade. Someone had to make money. At the rate Rin wanted to go, they'd both be out by the month's end.

"It's not any of your business!" She told him angrily. "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it!"

He froze at the edge in her voice. The foreignness of it stung. Rin wouldn't have spoken to a dog like that, let alone him. Ignoring her remark, he straightened out the jacket, rubbing his palm against the fabric of his pants. "I'll talk to you later." He told her calmly as he closed the front door behind him.

Rin sat down on the arid couch, resting her head in her hands. She hated feeling this way. She hated feeling like she didn't belong to Konoha or Kakashi anymore. She hated feeling like she was foreign to her own home village. She'd known Kakashi since they'd been Genin, yet she couldn't be honest with him even when he begged her to. Everything she'd faulted Kakashi for in the past, she was now guilty of.

She felt a tightness in her stomach as a sob swelled in her chest. Her hands drifted down towards her abdomen. She hated feeling fat and tired all of the time, even though she was only in her fourth month. The more weight she gained, the harder it became to deny the fact that she really was pregnant. That she really had gone through with what Arashi-Sensei had needed her to do. That in keeping herself together for the health of her baby, the more Kakashi let her push him away.

"I'm sorry." She cried, crawling into a defensive position on the couch. She knew that he wasn't any where around to hear it, but she apologized anyway.

* * *

Kakashi stood in front of the oldest man he knew, probably the oldest man in the Village. He had asked to see Kakashi personally before the Captain of ANBU met up with him. He wanted to explain the "complexity" of the situation. As if Kakashi needed complexity explained to him, but he humored the old Hokage anyway.

"Kakashi, you know that the Captain of ANBU has traditionally been held by a member of the Uchiha clan, right?" He asked the young ninja.

Kakashi nodded. "Yes sir."

"With your..adjustment, maybe it's better if you hold another position." He suggested. "To avoid conflict."

Kakashi shook his head. "With all due respect sir, I've been an ANBU member since I turned Jounin. That's been two years now. I deserve my rightful position back. I worked hard for it, I could have been promoted before my accident!"

The Hokage held a hand up to silence him. "I thought you might say that." He said, giving Kakashi a small reassuring smile. "That's why I have the captain waiting outside in the lobby for us. I'd like to supervise your interview and field applications."

"Sir, if it's all the same to you, I don't need a baby-sitter." Kakashi told him, trying to make it sound as respectful as possible.

He fell silent, seemingly considering Kakashi's word. "Okay, Kakashi. You win. On the condition that you wait outside in the lobby while I have a word with Itachi."

"Itachi?" Kakashi was shocked at the prospect. The last time Kakashi had seen Itachi, he was pulling Obito from his graduation reception early to go on an "A" ranked mission that afternoon. Itachi hadn't seemed to notice when the two sneaked craftily towards the back, Obito whining for all he was worth about missing the party for his little cousin. "Isn't that kid like twelve?" He asked, unable to believe that his superior was actually younger than he was. "What happened to the other one?"

"He retired. After the Nine-Tails attack." Sarutobi informed dutifully. "Itachi, despite his age, was the logical choice. Chosen by Oniko Uchiha himself."

"I see." Kakashi agreed. "That's fine, sir. I'll come back tomorrow."

With that, Kakashi dismissed himself.

Kakashi came home after the tedious meeting, expecting to find Rin packing up her stuff in some temperamental fit like he did when he came home from Asuma's house last week. He hated to admit to himself that he and Rin were having so many problems when she hadn't been back very long. He knew that it wasn't anything personal to him. Lady Tsunade had even warned him that she would start experiencing wild and uncontrollable temper tantrums around her fifth month. Still, he felt guilty. He felt like he wasn't supportive enough. He still felt like something was wrong. He still felt like nothing had changed. He wouldn't be surprised it she went back to Nakaue the next time he came to check on her.

He came home to an emotional melt down. She had crawled into a defensive position on his horrible excuse for a couch, sobbing. Tissues surrounded her in a random order, suggesting she'd been that way for a while. Her face was red and tear stained. Her nose was running and her palms has marks where she'd dug her nails into them from habit.

"Rin? What's wrong?" He asked, kneeling next to her. He gently placed a hand on her back, prodding her to tell him. He was worried something was physically wrong.

"I make everything so much worse." She told him, almost hyperventilating. "I always say something mean to you. I'm sorry."

"Is that all?" He asked as he rubbed her back. "Rin, you don't have to apologize to me. You're going through a lot right now." He reassured her.

She looked at him curiously. "You're not mad?"

He shook his head. "I'm not mad." He told her seriously as she hugged him.

He looked up at the calendar behind her and noticed that a date was circled. Two days from now would be her first appointment since she'd moved back. It was an OBGYN appointment. For the baby.


	25. Friendly Banter

Kakashi woke up harshly, not having slept well last night or the night before that. He swore he could hear someone rummaging through his apartment. He jumped up from his bed, grabbing the nearest weapon, which happened to be a stack of shurikens. He quietly opened the bedroom door, praying it wouldn't squeak and give away his position. He was fairly sure that nobody was in his house to harm him--even if they were, he wasn't sure that he would care. He'd been face to face with his worst nightmares, there was nothing about someone breaking-and-entering that would scare him. But, it was different, Rin was living with him and he had to keep her protected.

It was then that he saw his intruder, who really wasn't an intruder at all. It was his best friend, running across the living room and his excuse for a kitchen, looking frantically for something. He watched in silence as she tore through several boxes that she hadn't unpacked yet. He was trying to decide whether or not he was going to unpack them today when she left. He was tired of looking at them and thinking in the back of his head that she was planning her escape. He would rather look at a huge pile in the floor of his apartment than those tan, haunting, boxes.

He noticed that her clothing was different from her normal attire. She was dressed casually in a pair of sweat pants and a loosely fitting red tank top, that framed her slowly expanding stomach. Her hair was pulled up in a tight, high pony-tail that swung back and forth as she continued to furiously hunt for whatever she had lost.

"Rin." He finally spoke.

She spun around to see him in the doorway, leaning against the panel and watching her. "Oh, Kakashi. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." She apologized.

"You could just say "Good morning"." He mentioned as he moved over to help her organize her things into what she had and hadn't looked through.

"Good morning." She told him softly as he passed her.

"Where are you goin'?" He asked her, as she handed him a small photo album to put in a stack that she had already created.

"I have to go to the doctor." She reminded. "-I've had an appointment saved for two weeks and I'm gonna be late because I can't find my damn insurance card. I mean, how's that gonna look?" She asked, releasing an exasperated sigh in frustration. "I mean, I'm having a baby, but I can't make sure that I've got my frickin' insurance card that Collin gave me!" She berated, burying her head in her hands and groaning.

"What time do you have to be there?" Kakashi asked gently, trying not to add to her mania.

"Oh, five minutes ago." She mused, looking at the analog clock that hung crookedly on the front wall next to the solitary window.

"They know you there." He reminded gently. "Why don't you just go down there and get it taken care of and then go back with the insurance that Nakaue gave you and finish the information." He suggested.

She didn't seem to hear him for several moments before she abruptly looked at him, a worried look casting a shadow over her normal apperance. "I don't want to do this, 'Kashi." She confessed quietly. "I'm not ready for this."

He sighed as he drew her into his arms, holding her tightly. "It's going to be okay, Rin." He reassured, even if he wasn't sure how he could back up his words. "You should have woken me up this morning. I would have helped you look for it." He told her.

"I wanted you to sleep. You seemed restless lately." She explained as she pulled back from him, studying his facial expression for a moment. "I love the way you look without the mask." She told him for the hundredth time since they'd known each other, looking at his face as a whole and not just the contrast between his eyes as most people tended to do since his surgery.

"Rin, I've always worn the mask. It's not like it's something new." He retorted, feeling like he was under some sort of scrutiny over the fabric.

"I know. I'm just saying." She told him as she grabbed her coat and walked by the mirror one more time to make sure that her hair was the way she wanted it, and walked out of the door.

"Call if you need anything." He mumbled as he started turning the boxes upside down and emptying them. It was an end of an era. These boxes would be a pile of ash by the time that Rin got home. He wasn't going to let her go again. He had grown since Rin had gotten pregnant, so much so that he could tell. If getting rid of the boxes symbolized that, he should have done it days ago.

Then, a loud knock raqueted through the small apartment from the heavy front door. It sounded harsh, but not nessarily worried or distraught--for once.

He forced his way towards the door through the large pile that Rin had already created looking for her card that Lord Nakaue had given her. Thinking about the man made Kakashi's skin crawl. He hated anybody who would entertain the idea of putting Rin through everything that she was going through. The worst part was that he wasn't even man enough to stick through her for the worst part of it. As far as Kakashi could tell, all he wanted to do was show up when the kid was born and take it with him when he left. He hated to think about that, especially that way. It seemed pessimistic and unfair.

"Who's there?" Kakashi called before answering the door.

"The only stupid bastard who would come see you on a regular basis!" He heard the familiar voice call . " 'Mon, man, open the door! I just got home, what's with the third degree?"

He cracked the door open slightly, catching a glimpse of the youngest member of one of the oldest families in Konoha. Asuma Sarutobi.

"All the way." He coaxed sarcastically. "I heard that your woman is back in town." He mentioned suggestively, raising an eye brow in suspicion.

"Yeah. She's been home about a month and a half." Kakashi confirmed.

"She really knocked up?" He asked quietly as he stepped into the apartment, looking around for a third party.

"Who told you that?" Kakashi asked, examining Asuma's nervous behavior.

He looked at him for a moment, a dull expression on his face. "My father is the third Hokage, who was actually just reinstated. What that means for you is that he is back in charge and I get first access to all the records, duh." Asuma explained like Kakashi was the most idiotic person he knew. "There's a whole file dedicated to that girl. Even though that you still got her beat by a good three or four incident reports." He said, plucking a cigarette from the carton and lighting it. The carton looked like it was running short, which meant that either his father had restricted Asuma's access again or the mission went worse than he thought.

"No privacy in Konoha." He remembered, knowing that Asuma wasn't the only person with access if they wanted it bad enough.

"Nope. So, how's it going domestically? You ever get your interview?"

"I'm going tomorrow. Did you know that Itachi Uchiha is the new captain?" He asked Asuma, rubbing his eye where the bruises used to be.

Asuma's smirk fell from his face as if it had been a force of gravity. "Don't take his age as an indicator, Kakashi. He's not a joke." He warned, more serious than Asuma had ever said anything. "I've been on missions with that kid. He's a freak. He could give the Generals a run for their money. Whatever the Uchiha's did to him, if they keep it up, Konoha will be one-hundred percent under their control. He graduated the Academy at eight for a reason." He warned. "When did _you_ graduate?"

"Twelve. Like most." Kakashi answered. "I made Chuunin and Jounin pretty early though. "

"So did the rest of us. We've been at war, if you haven't noticed." He said, pointing to Kakashi's mismatched eyes.

Kakashi sighed. He really didn't need reminding, even for a second. His hate for himself still laid semi-dormant in the bottom of his chest. His guilt for Obito drove him to drastic behavior. All of that a direct result of casualty and war. If anybody needed to be reminded, it wasn't Kakashi. He didn't appreciate Asuma insinuating that he did.

"You might want to talk to your Sensei , and get some time off." Kakashi hinted as sensitively as he could manage. "You haven't been home for any amount of time in a while, and you seem on edge. I'm worried about you." He confessed. His comrade in front of him had pulled him through one of the most trying times of his entire life. If Kakashi could help him in any way, he would without question.

Asuma took a deep, shuddering breath. He didn't speak for several moments before he turned back to face Kakashi. "I can't." He started. "-I need to be with the other shinobi out there, at least until the walls get rebuilt." He gave the cigarette one last deep drag before putting it out with the fingertips of his leather glove and putting the remnants back into the cigarette carton. "Who knows. If you do good enough, maybe Uchiha will put you back on the ANBU squad, and you'll be back on the front lines." He mentioned to Kakashi, knowing he had worked tirelessly trying to get his old position back.

Kakashi sighed. Asuma needed a break. Kakashi recognized the signs of battle fatigue. He'd been through the phases himself. "Asuma." He tried.

"If you want, I can talk to my father for you. If you think it'll help." He continued, seemingly like Kakashi had never said a word.

"Asuma." He interrupted, louder this time. "I can't." He informed regretfully. "I can't go right now. I ne-need to stay inside."

"Wh-" He stopped, knowing his own answer, eyeing the piles of Rin's possessions on the floor. "I get it, bro." Asuma spoke softly. "I know, I know what Rin means to you. And you're right. She needs you right now. Just make sure you take care of her right this time." He said as he opened the door, showing himself out.

"Asuma, you don't have to go. You can stay for a little while if you want." Kakashi offered, catching him by his shoulder to stop him from moving.

"No. I gotta go. I still haven't stopped by Kurenai's yet, and I promised I'd take her out to lunch." He said, his gaze dropping off towards the left in a classic lie. "See ya."


	26. Different Time

As Kakashi sorted through the remainder of Rin's possessions, he couldn't help but wonder if what he was doing was really the right thing. On one hand, from a military point of view, it seemed selfish and He was as good as he was going to get at this point without some serious rehabilitation. Rehabilitation that wasn't going to be available for at least several months, if not years. The Nine-Tails attack had done such horrible things to the Village that the hospital was up to their necks in humanitarian effort. He was lucky that they still had their obstetrician section of the hospital--for Rin's sake.

As an ANBU operative, he had a duty to do everything he could, even if that meant leaving Rin alone in the Village for a few months. He couldn't get the image of Asuma out of his head. He'd been so tired, practically dead on his feet. He looked hurt, wounded somehow, even though he had no visible wounds. At least, none that were fresh. He was painfully home sick, probably lonely too. Kakashi remembered feeling like that back when he was still on Active duty. Asuma was better than he was.

He was better because he didn't pull his rank as the Hokage's son to get time off like nearly everybody else would. He hadn't been home at all except to take messages back and forth for at least four or five months. Still, he got up and did his missions loyally and with respect.

He was a Jounin for a reason. He'd more than earned it. Kakashi wondered if he still earned his rank. He hadn't left the Village since the war. The Generals kind of took it easy on him since the Hokage had been his Sensei.

When he came across the picture of the old team, Team Arashi, he knew that he had his answer. Obito and Arashi knew the risks. They woke up everyday and saw them in the mirror each morning. They knew that they could, and most likely would, die young.

"Why is it so hard for me to understand?" He asked the picture, running his thumb over Obito's bright goofy smile.

When he went to see Itachi later today for his assignment, he needed to go ahead and place his name for missions. There'd been a time when all he could think about was missions and money. He'd met his best friend because of missions. His entire personality had to do with what he had been through during his missions. It was his duty to the Village-to his home-to Rin.

* * *

Rin sat in the waiting room of the obstetrician practice, her hands shaking furiously from high anxiety levels. She was worried about her upcoming appointment. In all honesty, she didn't want to be here. She didn't want to see a doctor. She didn't want to be expected to sit patiently as he asked her all of the personal and private questions that could possible pertain to the health of the fetus. She had helped doctors when it came to pregnancy, but she had never before been on the receiving end of the deal.

Her mind reeled from all of the things that could go wrong during the long nine months, during the first and second trimester especially.

Her child was an anomaly to begin with. It's father wasn't someone from the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

That probably meant an entire round of blood work just to check for foreign bacteria and illness. "Joy." She thought sourly.

Then an intern came up to her with a bright, soft smile. "Good morning, Ms. Inuzuka. Dr. Xesn is ready for you." She informed her professionally. Rin remembered when she used to smile like that. She even used to sound like that. She would practice in the mirror every day before showing up for clinicals. She wanted to make a good impression for her future patients and employers so bad that it hurt.

"Thank you." She thanked the intern as she followed her into an exam room. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She had to do this in a mature way- she owed it to this child.

"Ms. Inuzuka, I presume?" A tall doctor that Rin didn't recognize asked. She noticed that his accent was different from what she was used to, indicative that he wasn't from around Konoha. They had been short on help recently, Tsunade must have given in and asked the allies for any available doctors. Now that she thought about it, Xesn wasn't a familiar Konoha name.

"Medic Inuzuka." She corrected. "-and yes."

"Really?" He asked as she situated herself on his exam table. "How long?"

"Nearly three years now..in the field." She told him as he felt of her neck, making sure that her lymph nodes weren't swollen.

"Impressive." He complimented as he unwound the stethoscope from his neck to check her vitals. "They say that some of the hardest work to do as a medic is field work."

She didn't say anything for several moments. She didn't know exactly how to respond to that. Before Sensei and Obito had died, she used to say that it was rewarding and that she could never imagine doing anything else with her career. She used to say that she loved her team and would gladly follow them to the ends of the earth. She used to say, that no matter where she went, she knew that she was a kunoichi at heart, and that it was her duty to help people where ever she could.

Now?

Now, she hadn't practiced medicine in four months. She hadn't touched it since Sensei had died and she had moved in with Collin. With all of the destruction that the nine-tails had brought and with all of the terror that the Village was facing, she didn't touch it. For once, Rin had put herself first. She would have destroyed herself if she'd stayed, regardless of what Kakashi had said or done. If she hadn't have gone with Collin, she would have left eventually. She was too far into self-destruct mode not to.

"I'm sorry if that was in any way inappropriate." He apologized at her prolonged silence.

"Oh, no. It's not you. I was just thinking about something." She reassured as she took a deep breath in when he placed the metal pad of the stethoscope on her chest.

"Yeah, my mom thought a lot too." He told her warmly. "Did you know that Xesn is a Land of Fire name?" He asked.

As curious as she was to know exactly how he had found out so quickly about something that was supposed to be 'top secret', there were other things she wanted to know even more. She wanted to know what it was like to be a child from the Land of Fire. More than anything, she just wanted to know what to expect.

"Really?" Rin asked genuinely. Looking at him, she would never have pegged him for that kind of ancestry. He had strawberry blonde, nearly red, hair and bright amethyst colored eyes. He seemed too unique to be indigenous to the Land of Fire. They all looked more or less like the Uchiha clan. Dark hair, dark eyes, olive colored skin. She had felt so close to Obito while she had been there because of that.

"Yep." He confirmed. "Born and bred. My mom and I lived in the Village Hidden in the Sand for a while, before the latest Kazekage came into power." He noted like most ex-citizens of the state. The current Kazakage was going to drive the Village Hidden in the Sand into the ground with the depression that gripped them, if Rin understood it right.

"That's a lot of travelling for a child." She commented as he pumped the blood pressure cuff, causing the limb to turn a lighter shade of pale as her skin purpled from the lack of blood supply.

"It wasn't too bad." He told her quietly as he took down her blood pressure. He seemed very open with his patients. Rin had never seen that in anybody but Tsunade herself. "You've got great blood pressure for this stage in the pregnancy." He informed her as he finished his exam. "The bad news is-" He said as he spun around and grabbed a tray of test tubes, plucking three of them out. "Blood test time. Gotta test for all of those icky foreign diseases." He informed with a wide, warm smile that made Rin smile for the first time since she'd been home. "Are your veins good or bad, Medic Inuzuka?" He asked in a child like, playful tone.

She rolled up both her sleeves, extending her arms out for him to see. "You decide."

He gently leaned over her left arm, holding it with his right hand as he flicked and toyed with a visible vein. "Hm." He said softly, biting his bottom lip. "This one looks pretty good."

Rin bit the inside of her cheek as he tied the latex band around her bicep to made her vein more prominent. She watched his face as he concentrated on the procedure, feeling as if she could completely trust him.

"Why did you ask me if I knew that you were from the Land of Fire?" She asked him before she could pierce her vein with the butterfly needle.

He looked at her questioningly, giving her a small smile in reassurance. "Lady Tsunade gave me your file, and I looked through it so I wouldn't have to ask you a ton of embarrassing questions." He answered. "-that, and, you are pretty much the gossip of the entire hospital." He said, an irrepressible smile on his face.

Lady Tsunade realized how much of a strain this had been on Rin. That she was grateful for. She was grateful that at least someone in charge realized what this meant to her.

She looked at Doctor Xesn, realizing that there was so much about the Land of Fire she didn't know. There was so much about the Nakaues she didn't know.

"Why did your mom leave the Land of Fire?" She forced herself to ask. Her voice felt heavy. He looked at her, his bright amethyst eyed wide and serious. She almost wished she hadn't asked.

"She never told me." He said softly. "-but, my father was asked to help the Leader, Minister Nakaue, after he had a serious aneurysm. He was honored, he accepted, and, he healed him. A week after that, my mother picked up and left my father with me and my sister in tow." He exhaled. "Long time ago." He shrugged.


	27. Everybody Leaves

Rin exhaled slowly, trying to keep her thoughts straight. She couldn't bring herself to ask Dr. Xesn anymore questions. It just seemed too personal to talk about. As much as she wanted to learn about the darker side about the Land of Fire, she wasn't ready to hear them just yet. Not from a stranger anyway. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready for the pressure. She wasn't ready for all of the fighting. She definitely wasn't ready for this baby.

As she signed out of the obstetrician clinic, she thought about Kakashi. She knew that it was unfair to ask him to come with her today, which is why she hadn't, but she really wished she would have. She'd built so much of her identity around Team Arashi, she felt like a shadow without them. There was nothing too personal that she couldn't tell Kakashi. They lived so closely on the edge of the end of life as they knew it, the secrets had just faded away into nothing. She only wished that it was as romantic as it sounded.

"Rin?" She heard Lady Tsunade's voice call. "Hold on a second."

"Ma'am?" Rin asked respectively. She admired Lady Tsunade's work. Lady Tsuande was probably the only person to single-handily change the medical profession since Hippocrates-it was hard not to admire someone like that.

"How did everything go?" She asked softly, her tone showing genuine concern for Rin's well-being, making the already emotional day worse.

"Fine." She said with a remarkably straight voice. "My blood pressure is phenomenal." She told her superior, trying to remember exactly what Dr. Xesn had said regarding her actual reason for being there.

"That's good. That's really good." She told Rin, giving her a warm smile. "Listen, if you ever need anything, or you want a different doctor, you just let me know, okay?"

"Okay." She told Tsunade. She felt uncomfortable with Tsunade's tone. It was as if it was saturated with concern--concern that someone should have had long before now. Concern that she was tired of hearing. "But I think that you should know, I'm comfortable with Dr. Xesn. I want to keep seeing him if it's okay with the Hokage." The last word felt foreign to her. She still wasn't used to the Third being the Hokage. She didn't think that she would ever be able to. Since she was old enough to understand the ranking system, it had always been Arashi-Sensei's position. He was, and always would be the Hokage to her.

"Really?" Tsuande asked, surprise evident in her expression. "That's fine. There's no reason you can't. Dr. Xesn is one of our most fastest rising doctors. He was personally lent to us by the Nakaue family; they paid for his schooling. He did his residency in the Village Hidden in the Rocks. He's very brilliant." She boasted. It was obvious that Lady Tsunade took pride in having people like Dr. Xesn in her Hospital.

"Thank you." Rin said, an apologetic tone in her voice. "Listen, ma'am, I really have to go. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no, problem." Tsunade told her. "By the way, Rin. It's Tsunade. You don't have to call me ma'am."

Rin smiled for the first time in what felt like a year as she left the Hospital. This wouldn't be so bad after all, so long as she had people to support her.

* * *

Kakashi waited at home for Rin, trying to steady his nerves from the turbulent experience with Itachi. Apparently what one Uchiha knew, the entire clan knew. This kid, who was barely eleven years old, had taken Kakashi for a hell ride through his own mind. He had never seen anything like it. Everything was fair game when it came to war, but his mind had never been blatantly violated and plundered through before. He knew that Obito wasn't exactly a "Grade A" Uchiha, but he had sorely misunderstood their ability to degrade another person's soul the way that Itachi Uchiha had. If that was what Kakashi had to learn by mastering the Sharingan, he wasn't interested.

_"What makes you think that you're strong enough for Active Duty?" The younger boy asked dully, swinging a kunai around his finger in a lazy motion._

_"What?" Kakashi asked, surprised that he was being asked that kind of question. Everything Itachi needed to know about his physical problems was all in the medical file that sat in between the two of them. All he had to do was ask Tsunade what he wanted to know. There was no reason why he had to be faced with that question. Besides, from the looks of hopelessness on the faces of the Shinobi; the situation was too desperate for anyone to turn away volunteers. Even the mighty Uchiha's._

_"You heard me." Itachi told him, hs voice carrying an edge much older than he was. "I bet you think that you're something special, having the Sharingan."_

_Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek at his statement. He had bet on this coming up, but no matter how many times he had rehearsed it in his head he still wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready to explain himself. He shouldn't have had to. If Arashi were still alive, he would have covered every crack and crevice of the suspicion-people would even be barred from asking him about it. Kakashi wouldn't have to stand in front of a member of the same clan of the person he had been directly responsible for and act like he wasn't guilty. _

_He wanted to go back to the way it was before. _

_There was a time nobody questioned his ability to participate in missons. In fact, he was regularly offered the ability to lead them in ANBU. He turned them down to go with his Genin team and Arashi-Sensei. He learned more on those missions than he did with others of his own rank. Regardless, back then they sure as hell didn't ask him if he thought he was special. Kakashi learned a long time ago that being special was nothing more than a nuisance. He knew nothing about the Sharingan besides it's name and it's reputation. That's all he wanted to know. He didn't want the Sharingan to define him as a person or as a shinobi._

_Itachi smirked when he saw Kakashi freeze for a moment. "You don't even know how to use it, do you?" Itachi toyed. "You're as good as a child."_

_Kakashi felt his arm mechanically reach out and grab Itachi from behind the desk that he sat at, snatching the kid roughly. " You don't know me." Kakashi told him through clenched teeth. "I've been playing the game a little bit longer than you have. I don't care what family connection you pulled to get this job." He said as he dropped Itachi, hearing a pleasant sounding thunk as he landed on the hard oak of the desk. "I'm an ANBU operative, damn it."_

_Itachi shrugged as he studied Kakashi's face, staring for what felt like eternity at his mismatched eyes. "What was his name?" He asked, his own cold charcoal eyes began to bleed into crimson, undoubtedly some jutsu, forcing Kakashi to look away. _

_"Who?" He asked, forcing his voice to stay steady._

_"Your team mate. The one who "gave" the Sharingan to you."_

_"You don't know the name of your own family?" Kakashi asked, pulling the mask back across the Sharingan eye. He felt like he needed to protect it somehow. Itachi looked at it as if he considered ripping it from his skull, but it was all a front. They were angry that Kakashi, an outsider, had their Kei Kei Genki. More importantly, Kakashi knew they were trying to get to him. They'd love nothing more than to prove Kakashi unable. He wasn't going to let them use Obito to do so. Even with him gone, Kakashi wasn't going to let any body use him that way. Obito deserved to rest in eternal peace, not be used as some bargaining chip. Especially not by a fellow Uchiha. They couldn't bother with burying him properly. Kakashi wasn't going to let them deframate him anymore than that. _

_Itachi was quiet for several moments. Too quiet. When he finally spoke, Kakashi had to refrain from jumping. "He was weak, right? Everyone kept talking about him being weak."_

_Something inside Kakashi snapped. "I'm not talking about this." He berated the Captain of ANBU. "You can let me back in or you can tell me that I'm wasting my time."_

_"I can already tell you that you're wasting your time." Itachi scoffed. "The ANBU you knew is part of history. We face real threats. Real problems. The times of just letting any bastard that can hold a kunai help us is over. Shinobi like you, for instance, with medical problems are nothing but a liability."_

_"Talk to your predeccesor. I was-_

_""Exactly, Hatake. Was." He interrupted. "In the past, you were a reliable shinobi. In the past, you were taught by the Fourth Hokage. In the past, you were confident of your skill and your ambition. Now look at you. You see doubt in everything you look at. You shouldn't have even made it past the Third-"_

_"You don't know me." Kakashi growled. "You don't know me. All you see is my eyes.-_

_"Eye." Itachi interrupted, closing his fist around the kunai in his palm. "Eye." He corrected. "They don't both belong to you. Technically saying "eyes" is incorrect. The eye you were given will never work the way it should. It shouldn't have ever taken to your body in the first place!" He said angrily. _

_"I didn't ask for this eye. I didn't steal from him." He said, his voice uncharacteristically even. "He was my friend, and when he lay dying he wanted a part of himself to live. He asked the kunoichi on our team to do that for him, and she did. End of fuckin' story. You got it?"_

_Kakashi didn't have time to blink before Itachi grabbed his chin with one hand, forcing Kakashi to look into his murderous stare. "The job is yours because the Third made it so-but you're going to wish to hell that you just stayed at home."_

He wasn't scared of some eleven year old. He didn't care what clan he came from or what powers he had. The worst part of his life was over. He'd lost his father. He'd lost Obito. He'd lost Arashi. He'd lost Rin, and was still losing her in certain aspects. He even lost himself for awhile. He'd gone through countless surgeries, countless rehabs. He'd gone through hell and he'd made it back. He was never going to let some spoiled brat from the Uchiha clan take that from him.

"Kakashi?" Rin's voice called. "You here?"

"Yeah, I'm here." He answered, making his way towards the front room. He still hadn't told Rin what he intended to do, he didn't want to worry her before she had a chance to go to the doctor and make sure that the baby was okay. "What did the doctor say?"

"Everything is fine. I have good blood pressure. I just have to make sure that I eat right." She told him, unable to really concentrate when she noticed the way he looked at her. He looked guilty somehow. He looked really tired, unexpectedly anxious.

"That's good." He told her, forcing himself to relax as he drew in a deep breath. He heard himself ask the one question he swore he wouldn't. "Have you talked to Nakaue yet?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Rin, you have to talk to him. He needs to know." He tried to reason. "He's-

"I know, Kakashi. Okay?" She interrupted. "I'll call him tonight. Right now, I just need a break." She sighed as she sat down next to him, her deep amber eyes looking at him with concern. " 'Kashi, you know that I-

"I went to the ANBU Captain today." He interrupted, trying to hold his anxiety level down. He needed to look like he was confident of his decision. "-I went to get placed back on Active Duty after Asuma came over."

She didn't say anything, so to fill the silence, Kakashi continued on. He tried to ignore the fact that her eyes seemed to glaze over as she bit the side of her cheek like she did when she was hearing something she didn't want to hear. It was the same look she gave him when he told her that Arashi had died in the Nine-Tails' attack.

"I've gotten orders for next week. I'm going back on missions to help out until everything stabalizes." He simplified. There was no reason to tell her exactly what had happened in Itachi's office. He didn't need to give her another reason to worry.

"Why?" She asked in a small voice. "Kakashi, you're not completely better. Something could go wrong, and there's nothing they could do for you in the field!" She argued. "You can't do this to me. To us!"

"I'm as good as I'm going to get right now, Rin." He tried to explain to her, even though she already knew. He didn't want to fight with her. Even though he thought that it was a pretty hypocritical thing of her to say after she had just packed up and left with another man barely two months ago. He didn't care what the legality of the situation was, Rin leaving him was one of the most torturous things he had ever experienced.

"I don't want you to leave." She told him, her voice cracking. "I can't do this by myself."

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly against his chest as she started crying. "I'm going back on missions, Rin. I've already been assigned. It's the best thing for the Village. It's the best thing for us." He told her quietly, knowing that nothing he could say was going to make any of this any easier for her.


	28. Love Hurts

**FORGIVE ME FOR THE SHORTNESS OF THIS CHAPTER! I'M TRYING DESPERATELY TO KEEP THE THOUGHT CLOUD BREWING WITH THIS STORY!! I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE WORTH READING!!**

**OH~! AND THANKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED THE LAST CHAPTER!**

* * *

Once she had finally cried herself into exhaustion, Rin had slept more soundly than she had in the days before her appointment. She couldn't stop thinking and worrying to do much else before, and now if felt like the same anxious feeling had been amplified by ten. She spent every waking hour, desperately trying, and failing miserably, not to worry about Kakashi. She didn't have the temperament or the energy to keep up with that level of misery--it wore her out. She felt like she was caught in some sort of unheard, suffocating grey area of existence. She didn't have the privilege of naivety like some of the women in the Village. She'd been out on missions countless of times. Most of her medical expertise came from the battle field. She'd lost her best friend on the battle field. It was how she'd met Kakashi to start with. She saw, in full detail, the ugliness of war. It was the primary and most important reason she was having this baby. A Nakaue heir would open trade between the two countries. With the new resources, the Village Hidden in the Leaves would be able to conquer any offending Village and probably become a leading power again.

She didn't understand Kakashi's decision when all he had to do was play out the waiting game. Not even the Hokage was taking missions seriously right now; just renegade work to make it look like they had it under control. She couldn't ask him not to do what he had already signed up for. She knew that at some point he would have gone back to Active Duty, but she didn't expect it to happen this way. He had told her on several different occasions how he could never see himself doing anything else--no matter what the consequence or the heart break. He was, and always would be, a shinobi. She knew and respected that. She just hoped that maybe he would have stayed with domestic duties to look after her, considering the circumstances. She would have done it for him without thinking twice about it. Now that she thought about it, she _did_ do it for him and didn't think twice about it. The consequences of that decision was still undecided. There was still a rift in between the two of them. It was something that nobody could see. It was something that she wasn't even sure she understood. She just knew that it existed.

Most of her time was spent occupying her side of the bed in Kakashi's apartment. She felt awful. She looked awful. Under circumstances like that, she didn't want anything from anybody. She only wanted to be left alone, and it was the one thing Kakashi wouldn't give her. He came home three times during the day to make sure that she ate--not much said between them.

"Kakashi." She finally said one say, so tired of being isolated and living with the one man she had probably ever had genuine feelings for at the same time.

"Hm?" He asked, swallowing whatever he had bitten in to. The details weren't really what mattered to Rin Inuzuka lately. She was satisfied with the fact that he was eating; it probably went both ways. Since she had gotten pregnant, Rin felt like a completely different person. She was someone she didn't even recognize.

"I think that it might be better if I moved back to Collin's for awhile." She suggested to see how he woud react. She had spent all day trying to form a conversation in her head about how she wanted to approach this, but every time she had an idea it felt inflated and fake. As much as she hated to resort to drastic measures, she thought about the one thing that would crawl under Kakashi's skin more than anything. Her baby's father.

His eyes seemed to visibly dull as he looked at her oddly. "Why?"

"You'll be gone a lot." She reminded, sounding a lot more vindictive that she felt. She had no intention of making him feel bad about his decision, but it was clearly what happened. His eyes saddened as he shifted his gaze towards the food he had in his hands, making her feel the guiltiest she had ever felt in her life. She forced herself to keep going. "I'm just not comfortable being by myself."

"Rin." He interrupted.

"It's no big deal. I can pack tomorrow since he'll be here on Friday to talk to the Third." She rambled, trying not to get any more upset than she already was. The anguish in her voice hit Kakashi just as well as if she'd plunged a kunai into him.

"Rin." He said again, trying to get her attention.

"He really didn't want me to go anyway. It'll be no problem-

"Rin!" He shouted, grabbing her wrists and holding them tightly-jerking her towards him abruptly. "Stop it." He told her softly. He held her gaze, amazed by how hurt she looked. He would have waited a little longer to re-enlist if he had known she would have been in so much turmoil because of it. It wasn't that long ago that they were comrades. He really didn't think that it would hurt her. He knew that she would worry, but he didn't think she would actually be hurt. "Stop it." He repeated.

Tears started to fall down her face, running across the tips of his thumbs as he held her face to make her look at him. "I love you, you know that right?' She asked between sobs.

He pulled her closer to him, holding her tightly as she started to lose control of the rest of her composure if there were any. He had known Rin for years. They had been through some of the darkest times of their lives together, but he had never felt as guilty as he did now. All the tears that soaked into his shirt were tears he had caused. He wanted to take it all back. "I love you too." He murmured into her hair, realizing he hadn't said that to anybody since his father died. That was all Rin had wanted to hear when he ran her away. It had been so impossible for him to say it before and now it was the most honest thing he'd ever said to anybody. It'd been months since Kakashi felt this conflicted.


	29. Never Say Never

Kakashi woke the next morning to an empty bed. Rin was no where to be found as he looked around the room. They had spent almost all of the night before talking. Kakashi had never been big on communication, or at least not on verbal communication anyway. He didn't like being put in a vulnerable position. He especially didn't like not knowing what to say. Having said all of that, he was glad Rin had finally come clean with him. He didn't know when exactly it had happened, but Rin had become one catastrophe after another. She was more insecure than she had ever been, and that had gotten Kakashi in the heart. She had always been a bright and beautiful person. At some point in his life, he'd let her become his only sunlight. Maybe that had been too much to ask of her.

"Rin?" He called, climbing out of bed, her duvet tangling around his waist. "Damn it." He cursed the comforter. "Rin?" He called again.

It was then that something caught his eye. A note with Rin's favorite pen lying across it to make sure it didn't fall from the side table. He picked it up, reading a few simple words that were contrary to the half novels that she used to write in her notes for him.

_"Kakashi, I've gone to Tsume's. I'll be back soon. Love, Rin."_

"Great." He thought, shifting against the pillows as he drifted back off to sleep. She had somehow gotten up from bed, gotten dressed, and left the house without so much as stirring him. He must have been more exhausted than he thought.

* * *

Rin pulled at the sleeve of her maternity shirt nervously. She hadn't come to see Tsume at all since she'd gotten back from the Castle of Fire, despite the several invitations she'd received. She used to be close to her Clan mother. When she was younger she used to spend any time that she was allowed around Tsume. She remembered helping Tsume care for the many Clan puppies that she raised to help insure a clean blood line. That was when she first started getting into medicine to start with. Tsume used to let her come with her to "help" when the Inuzuka puppies and dogs were due for annual shots and such. Inuzuka puppies were baby-sat exactly like Inuzuka children were. It was forbidden to leave them alone in a house or yard for fear of them getting into something poisonous-just as if they were children.

Thinking about children made goosebumps crawl against her skin as her hand hand consciously floated toward her swollen abdomen. She vaguely wondered when it would start moving, not that she wasn't freaking out enough as it was. She drew in a slow breath, and knocked on the door. Loud, wild noises of dogs and small children instantly responded to the sound, a scramble headed at full speed towards the front door.

"You guys go play outside!" She heard Tsume's voice orchestrate over the insistent noise of the kids, both human and otherwise. "Now!"

"Come on, mom." She heard little Hana's voice beg. "I wanna see who's here."

"I know very well who's here." She told her daughter. "Now take Kiba and the other kids outside and play."

"Yes ma'am." She said in a tone older than she was. "Come on, Kiba. Hikari. Guys!" She ordered, much like she'd heard her mom do. If anything happened to Tsume down the road, Rin would be more than willing to vote in Hana, providing she was old enough for the daunting responsibility. They were a big clan with a lot of competition and a lot of inside problems, probably things that she didn't even know about. She could never see herself taking on that role. As much as she loved the other Inuzuka's, she could never be asked to lead them. Rin could barely handle being pregnant. There was no way she would ever be able to be a sufficient Clan leader.

She was interrupted from her thoughts when the door finally swung open to reveal the tall older woman. This was the same woman who Rin had looked up to her entire childhood. Tsume was her role model, even though it didn't seem as true anymore. She had trusted Tsume throughout her entire life-- and for the most part, she still did. She came from Tsume's clan--as much of an Inuzuka as Tsume or her children. Rin had come to Tsume's partially because of the numerous invitations, but partly because Rin wanted to feel a fragment of what she used to feel.

She used to belong somewhere. She used to come from a clan full of people who loved her and wished her well. She used to have a Sensei and a team that, no matter what the obstacle, always had each other's backs.

But that life felt like it was a million miles away from her. Rin stood there on the front porch, much like she had when she first find out exactly what it was that Arashi-Sensei and the Clan leader had agreed her to. She was frozen, scared, anxious, all of these things that seemed to never go away. She was nothing more than a nervous wreck and everybody who knew her knew that.

She watched as Tsume smiled at her. "Just when I thought I was going to have to give you a direct order." She told her niece warmly. "Come inside, Rin." She invited, her tone neutral.

"I can't stay very long." She started, closing the door behind her. "I-

"You can stay as long as you want, Rin." She interrupted, looking back at the young girl over her shoulder. "You know that."

Rin started to pick her sentence back up, but forgot what she was going to say. She settled for a deep sigh, followed by a quiet "Yes, ma'am." as she followed Tsume into the kitchen.

Rin looked towards the back yard where the several Inuzuka children and animals could be seen playing outside. She felt a small, half smile pull at the corners of her lips. It was already starting to feel like home again- little by little.

"Have a seat, darling." She instructed Rin as she went over to the counter and poured some drinks. She could tell that Rin hadn't come of her own free will. If that were so she wouldn't have come dressed with the intention of making Tsume think she had some place to go. She could sense Rin's nervousness. It would be a lie to say that she didn't carry some as well. She hadn't talked to Rin as all since the younger Inuzuka had gotten pregnant. She knew that Rin had a lot to be stressful about long before the baby. She knew that a part of Rin blamed Tsume and the Fourth for everything she'd been through in the past year, and maybe even before, even though Rin would never admit it. Knowing how sensitive the situation was, she thought it best to give Rin the opportunity to come home first. She stole a glance at Rin as the medic played with the sleeve of her shirt.

She had to have been five, maybe even six, months along by now.

"What brings you back to the compound, Rin?" She asked softly, hoping to jump start the conversation.

She handed Rin a glass of ice water, sitting down on the opposite side of the table. Rin stared at the drink, unsure of whether or not she even wanted it. She didn't really find herself that thirsty. She looked up at her Clan leader. She noticed that Tsume was holding a big coffee mug full almost to the rim of hot coffee.

"Masako told me that you wanted to see me about a week ago." She reminded Tsume of the invitation. "Would you like me to come back later?"

"No, no." Tsume dismissed. "Now is as good as then." She told Rin. "Drink some of your water." She instructed Rin as if she were still a child when she noticed that it went untouched.

"Why not tea?" She asked, hoping not to be disrespectful. She knew that Tsume always had tea on hand because it was the only thing that Hana, or Kiba for the matter, would drink. They asked for it at every family gathering they had ever been to, every time Rin had come to dinner. It was irrefutable fact.

"You're pregnant." She said simply. "You're not allowed coffee, or caffeine period, until the child's born."

"Dr. Xesn said tea in moderation would be fine." She told Tsume.

"Small amount of caffeine." She informed the younger Inuzuka. "Better you not risk it."

A moment of brief intense silence fell between the two Inuzuka women. "In two days I'll be six months along." She informed her stand-in mother quietly, watching the kids play outside the window. The four Inuzuka kids, Kiba, Hana, Hikari, and Viggo were chasing the dogs around. She bet it was good exercise chasing kids around like that.

It wasn't so long ago that she was one of the children that played in Tsume's yard, playing for never ending hours before dinner. It saddened her to think that all of the Inuzuka kids her age and older had been touched by war, and were never, ever going to be able to go back to that point of their lives. They were never going to be the children in Tsume's yard, playing with the dogs again, where fear, devastation, and uncertainty could never touch them.

"Rin." Tsume interrupted her chain of thought. "Don't let your mind take you there." She warned with complete seriousness. "If you ever wanted to know what destroys a shinobi faster than anything, that's it." She said with complete conviction. "Those kids outside are a different generation from you. Two completely different generations." She told her. "You know as well as I do that each generation has it's own intricacy and it's own problems. With the help from the Nakaues after this child is born, who knows? Maybe Viggo and Hana won't see war. Maybe Hana will be a veterinarian like she wants."

"Kakashi's got an assignment." She told the Clan leader, tiring quickly of hearing about war. "He volunteered for it, actually."

"You expected something different?" Tsume asked after a while. "His father was a shinobi. His grandfather. It's all he knows."

"No." She said dejectedly.

"Isn't it a good thing that he's well enough to go back on missions?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What's wrong then?"

"I can't go with him." She answered. "I'll be alone."

Tsume reached across the table, squeezing Rin's hand. "Look at me, Rin." She told her softly. "You might have felt isolated." She started. "-but you were never alone."


	30. Not So Far Away

When Rin came home, she realized that something was definitely off. As she gazed towards the clock, she didn't realize how late it was by the time that she got home. She was almost sure that she would be met with a neurotic Kakashi when she opened the door. He had been paranoid about her since Obito died, and it had only gotten worse after the Nine Tails Attack. So, just leaving with a note the way she had earlier, she had expected a fully orchestrated panic by the time she got home.

But it was the polar opposite. Nothing.

" 'Kashi?" She called. He might have just gone over to Asuma's after he woke up. He randomly did that, just to keep from feeling alone in the drafty apartment.

"In here!" He called back to her.

His voice sounded like it came from their bedroom, and as she followed it she couldn't help but notice the distinct smell of paint. She couldn't even so much guess as to what he was doing as she continued. He hadn't mentioned any new projects to her lately. Actually, he had been pretty sedentary compared to everything he normally did. He must have simply forgotten to mention it to her. It wasn't like they were having any major break throughs when it came to communication lately. Kakashi was too frustrated. She was too everything else.

As she came in, he slammed the closet door, standing in front of it protectively. She immediately noticed the sweat stains on the collar of one of his old shirts and the pink tint in his face. She watched as he put a hammer back into his tool belt that he had hanging loosely around against his hips. It was obvious that he had been working for a while, probably since she'd left. Rin couldn't help but notice the smile under his mask.

"Close your eyes." He told her, his voice laced with excitement as he put one hand against the closet door to make sure that it stayed closed.

"What are you doing?" She asked, looking through the assortment of construction tools littering the bedroom floor. "What is all of this?"

"Close your eyes." He repeated. "Come on, trust me."

She sighed as she closed her eyes, trying not to smile at his impatience. Whatever he was hiding in the closet, he had taken great care to make sure that she hadn't seen it. She hadn't even had so much as a second thought about the small room. She kept her clothes in the bigger hallway closet where they would all fit. She simply brushed it off when Kakashi's clothes showed up one day a week or two ago in the same closet.

She listened to the small squeal of metallic hinges as the closet doors swung open. She felt Kakashi's hand tug at hers, urging her forwards a little. "Come over...here." He decided, holding her there by her shoulders.

"Can I open my eyes now?" She asked, trying to hide her amusement of the whole situation. Kakashi hardly ever showed emotion. It was nice to see him excited about something for once.

"Yeah." He said softly in her ear. "Go ahead."

When she opened her eyes, she felt the breath literally leave her lungs. Whatever it was she might have expected, it surely wasn't this. A nursery. Kakashi had built her a nursery. A _baby_ nursery.

"Please tell me you like it." He asked softly after her silence got to be more than it could take. "I've been working on this since about three weeks after you came back home."

She was frozen in place by the room. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. He had extended the small room so that it was about three times it's normal size, she wasn't sure how he had done it. The walls were painted a light shade of purple, one of her favorite colors. He had installed a crib, a dresser, a changing table, a toy chest, and a rocking chair. All of the furniture had been painted white to match the color scheme of the room. He'd even hung an extra window in the room to let sunlight in. It had all been neatly arranged--all picture perfect. All of it.

She turned to face him, hoping that the tears that stung at her eyes weren't visible. "I- She paused for a moment, gingerly touching his wrist as he fumbled with the uneven ruler that hung close to his side. "I love it, Kakashi." She said genuinely. "It's beautiful." She threw her arms around him, squeezing his shoulders in a hug. "Thank you."

"I just wanted you to have a place for her." He murmured against her hair. "She might not be mine, but I want to help you take care of her. I've been thinking a lot about it, you know?"

"When did you do all of this?" She asked after she released him, completely in awe of his creation. She looked around some more, noticing that he had stenciled in an orchid pattern across the panel of the toy chest. She couldn't believe what he had done.

Before he had changed it, Kakashi's closet had been a miniature storage closet. He kept all of the things he'd inherited from his father in the space--packed neatly in boxes, untouched. She wondered vaguely where it went. He had held on to all of that stuff for years. It held a kind of sad, sentimental value to him. It was all he had of his family.

"I told you, I've been working on it since you've been back." He reminded. "Asuma's been helping me with some of the construction. Notice the rockin' chair?" He asked her, pointing to solitary chair that rested under the window. "Tsume gave it to me to put in the room when I told her what I was doing. She said that it was your mom's when you were born."

"Really?" Rin asked disbelievingly, taking a closer look. Most of the furniture from her mom's old house had been willed away to other Clan members when she died. Rin had figured that the chair had been no exception.

"Swear." He said, grateful that for once his chest wasn't painfully constricted when he talked to her about the baby. He loved to see her eyes light up again. He loved to see a shadow of the the optimism she used to have. He loved to see her as anything, so long as she wasn't depressed. He hated to see her that way. He didn't want to think that she had the capacity to even feel excruciating pain and depression.

"Oh my god.." She trailed off, looking at the rocking chair. He thought for a moment she was going to cry again. She seemed so entranced by it, he was wondering whether or not it was such a good idea. But he knew that it was something Rin would want when he picked it up. He had painted all of the furnishings to match it.

She came over to him, gingerly touching the fabric of his mask with the tips of her fingers. She slowly pulled the cloth-like material away from face, searching his expression for clues to his mood. She was the one person who could touch his face without him flinching or shying away. "I love you." She said, feeling uninhibited for the first time in months. It was the first time since she'd told him that since she'd been home, excluding the signed notes.

"I love you too." He said honestly, without conflictment. "I mean it." He said softly as he pressed his lips against hers.

* * *

"So, Kakashi's really goin' on a mission with Rin six months along?" Kurenai asked as she folded clothes out of a laundry basket. "Wow."

"He finished the nursery yesterday. I think he's going to let her see it today." He mentioned as he tapped ash from the end of his cigarette.

"Stop trying to change the subject." She scolded lightly, throwing a pair of socks at him playfully. "I need to go see Rin soon." She reminded herself. "She hasn't been very sociable lately."

"Well, like you said, she's pregnant, and it hasn't been that long since Yodaime died. She's got a lot to work through." He shrugged, eyeing Kurenai as she drew her legs under her and resumed folding clothes. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"House work. I have no clothes for tomorrow, and I have to teach."

"I know that, but why are _you _doing them?" He asked. "I've never seen you fold clothes or anything like that."

"You're gone a lot, Asuma." She reminded gently. "There's a lot that I do that you don't necessarily witness."

"Oh, like that is it?" He asked sarcastically, trying not to notice how short she was being with him. He had to leave the day after tomorrow with Kakashi. He didn't want to leave Kurenai's house arguing with her. He just couldn't leave like that.

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "It's just-I hate the way things are right now. It seems like half the Village is out on missions. I feel like I'm alone a lot, I guess."

He blew air through his nose. The truth was, half of the Village was out on missions. The truth was she was alone a lot. The truth was they were hanging on by a thread until Rin's baby was born.


	31. Hormonal & Overdue

She couldn't get comfortable. No matter which way she turned, no matter where she went, she couldn't get comfortable. Kakashi had been gone for two days, and already she was a wreck. She was almost seven months pregnant. Every time she crossed a day off of the calendar, it amazed her even more. In less than three months, she was going to have a baby. **Her** baby.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

She hated the way everything echoed in Kakashi's apartment. No one so much as closed a door without everybody in the room knowing about it. She admitted that it bothered her more than it should have. Everything bothered her more than it should have.

Dr. Xesn had reassured her that sensitivity was a normal side effect of her elevated hormone level, but there was only so much that she could stand. At this point, she was getting on her own nerves. She had no idea why Kakashi just didn't abandon ship. Technically, he had no real reason to stay around. He wasn't the baby's father--but he still wanted to help her raise him or her. He'd even said it himself. He'd built him or her a nursery. She was still processing that. She sat in the nursery for hours the day he left for the mission. She loved Kakashi more than she ever had. Really loved him. It wasn't just the school girl crush she'd had when she first met him. She truly, honestly, and forever, loved Kakashi.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

_"God, go away already." _She thought to the persistent knock.

She had already made up her mind that she wasn't getting up today. She didn't want company. She just wanted to be left alone to sleep while she could. The baby refused to stop moving at night since Kakashi left.

"Rin?" A familiar voice called. "The door was unlocked."

She literally felt all of her muscles freeze. It was Collin. "_Shit." _She thought to herself, kicking at the duvet that tangled around her legs. He wasn't supposed to come to her place. He wasn't even supposed to know where it was. Kurenai probably told him, thinking that he had simply gotten lost. She hadn't talked to Kurenai since she'd been home. She hadn't been up to it.

"Hey, Collin!" She hollared towards the door. "I'll be out in a minute." She said, hoping that he would stay in the front room.

She came out to meet a very surly-looking, obviously upset Lord. "What are you doing living in Kakashi Hatake's house?" He asked simply, his expression guarded. He looked at her like she had done something wrong. She hated that look. His eyes were too much like Obito's for her to ever feel comfortable with that gaze.

"I moved in." She said, not looking at him directly. She was trying to figure out his angle. She hadn't expected that question. She had expected a million other questions, but not that one. He had no right to tell her where she could and couldn't live, or as far as she knew. He wouldn't have let her come back home if he'd had that kind of authority.

"I _thought_ you were going to get your old place back." He said, accusation dripping from every syllable.

"Someone else is all ready renting it." She answered calmly, her eyes still refusing to meet his.

"There's other apartments." He stated. "I don't want you here, living with Kakashi Hatake."

"Why do you always have to address him by both names?" She asked, her neck miraculously working again. "He's my friend. He's my team mate." They had this argument a million times. At first it had started out playful, but lately it had gotten out of hand. It felt like he resented her for her close friendship with Kakashi. He resented her for wanting to live in Konoha instead of with him in his castle. It felt like he resented her for everything.

"He also told you that you didn't matter." He reminded, popping his knuckles the way he did when he got agitated about something. "-or have you simply forgotten everything he did?" The expression on her face told him everything he needed to know. He scoffed. "That's convenient."

She was shocked. Completely shocked. Of all the people who had talked to her with that kind of irritability, it had never been Collin. He didn't get that right. He had the right to their child. He had the right to their friendship. He did _not_ have the right to talk to her that way. Ever.

"Get out of my house." Rin told him softly, her voice completely complacent. She wasn't going to let him upset her."Talk to me with respect or get the hell out of my house."

"No. I'm not leaving." He told her sternly. "You're seven months along and you're by yourself, Rin." He said, motioning to the empty apartment. He acted like she'd lied to him. He acted like she'd done him wrong somehow. "I mean, what are you doing? You don't call. You don't answer. Have you even gone to an O.B., yet?" He asked, looking as if he was about to re-negotiate the terms of the contract with Tsume all over again. He acted like she wasn't taking care of herself for the baby's sake. Every accusation got to be more than she could take.

"Yes, I've been to an O.B." She said, getting ready to call ANBU. She didn't want him here in Kakashi's house. She would meet him anywhere else, but she didn't want him here. It didn't feel right. He shouldn't be here.

"How come I haven't received any payment records?" He asked, watching the pregnant Inuzuka. He was amazed at how much bigger she'd gotten. When she had left, she'd had a small bump to signify that she really was pregnant. Now, her abdomen had swollen to the size of a watermelon, extending out in to her range of motion. She was huge compared to the last time he'd seen her. She was pregnant with his baby.

"I don't know!" She told him, reaching into her purse and fishing out Dr. Xesn's card. She stomped towards the young Lord who easily had an extra foot of height on her, shoving the little paper card against his chest as if she were threatening. "His name is Dr. Xesn. You can call him and talk to him about it. Now, get out of my house. I'll meet you some where for lunch tomorrow."

He looked at the business card, seemingly satisfied that she was telling the truth. His composure was different, his eyes softer. He seemed almost sorry for his attitude--like all men did. _Almost_ sorry.

"Okay." He resigned, his voice soft and gentle like it was the first time she'd met him. "I'm gone. Just let me ask you one more thing."

"What?" She asked, frustration starting to bubble in her chest, making it constrict.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" He asked, carefully placing his palm over the swell of her stomach. She could feel the baby move under his touch. It made almost ever muscle in her back spasm. The baby moved. It **moved**.

"I don't know yet." She told him gently, taking a few steps back as she released a pent up breath . "Now, please, Collin. Please. Leave."

"I'm gone." He repeated. "I'll see you at the diner tomorrow at twelve-thirty. Okay?" He asked, his eyes silently pleading with her to just show up and not make a big deal out of it like she was prone to do. It was in blood. All Inuzuka's were boisterous.

"Okay."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Goddamn it!" She yelled towards the eggshell white door, Collin still standing in the living room. "Who's there?!"

"Ms. Inuzuka. This is the ANBU." A masculine voice identified from the other side of the door. "We need to speak with you."


	32. Don't Take Him Away From Me When I need

She probably hadn't moved fast since before she found out she was pregnant. She swung the door open like it was some sort of transparent object and not something that was intended to keep people out of her apartment. Had she not been one step away from hyperventilation she might have realized she'd just called Kakashi's apartment "her" apartment. Had this been any other time or any other place, she would have thought about a lot of other things.

"Yes?" She asked, vaguely aware that Collin stood directly behind her.

She could tell by their expressions that whatever they had come to talk to her about was serious. Their faces were sullen. Their eyes were glassy. Their jaws were set. They probably looked like that when Arashi-Sensei had ordered them out to the Uchiha compound to tell Obito's parents that he was dead. They probably didn't look like anything else since the Nine Tails attack. She could never imagine having their jobs.

"You're Ms. Inuzuka?" He asked. "Rin Inuzuka?" The taller officer confirmed, suspicious of the man behind her. He looked like an Uchiha. He would have believed it if he didn't descend from the clan himself.

"Yes, I'm Rin." She said, growing frustrated and more terrified by their silence. "What is it? Tell me what's happened!" She pleaded, her heart beating against her chest like a wild bird caught in a cage. She knew that it was always a possibility that they'd show up at her door. She remembered the ANBU in her childhood. She remembered them at the compound. She remembered the funerals that happened after they'd delivered the life altering news. But this was different. All of her kin she'd lost, it had hurt to lose them, but they weren't Kakashi.

She'd never been so terrified in her life before. They were here about Kakashi. She knew they were. She didn't have anybody else for them to come and tell her about. Everybody else had already died.

"Ma'am, we regret to tell you-

She couldn't breathe. She'd been within earshot a million times before at the hospital when shinobi died. She could hear the words.

"_We. regret. To. Tell. You. That. Kakashi. Was. Found. Dead. Today."_

No. She wasn't going to listen. She wasn't going to lose him. Not today. Not ever.

"He's not dead." She interrupted, her voice jagged and broken, her eyes blurring from the unshed tears. He couldn't die. Not yet. They had their whole lives ahead of them.

They were supposed to live to see the restoration of Konoha. They were supposed to spend time together, just the two of them alone. They were going to go somewhere, far away from Konoha. They had planned it for after the baby was born and after he had time to re-cooperate from the missions. Kakashi wanted to take her to the beach. She'd never been before.

He used to talk about how he couldn't wait to see the moon light on her skin when they walked down the beach together. Kakashi wanted to help her with the baby. She wanted his help. She wanted to take pictures of them together. She wanted to see Kakashi hold her. She wanted her to know Kakashi as somebody other than a lack of a smile in a familiar picture. She didn't even really care what they did or where they went. She just wanted _him_.

"Kakashi's not dead!" She yelled, tears finding their way down her cheeks. She'd never felt this way before. Not when she lost Obito. Not when she'd lost Arashi-Sensei. Not even when she lost her mother as a little girl. She felt Collin pull her into an embrace. "He's not dead.." She sobbed into the fabric of Collin's shirt as his grip tightened around her. Collin could only look to the young ANBU officers for some guidance-hoping that what Rin said was true.

"What did you come to say?" He asked them, his voice falling back into his traditional Lord tone. If Rin couldn't handle it, he wouldn't ask her to. She'd been through enough in the past year. She'd lost Obito and her Sensei. Not to mention what she'd been through with the miscarriage.

"Kakashi Hatake, Asuma Sarutobi, and Sarlo Haruna haven't checked in with their squad leader in over seventy two hours. They've officially been moved to Missing. In. Action status, and it's our duty to inform family members." The taller of the two answered solemnly, watching Rin as her sobs grew stronger when he finally delivered the news. He hated his job.

"-and since he's the last of his clan, his information was changed to his last surviving team member." The other finished, feeling guilty for his very existence as he noticed her protruding, pregnant, stomach.

"What's the chances of finding him alive? Have there been any messages on foreign networks?" Collin questioned. People went missing in his Land often enough that they had set regulations on how to handle the situation-even if it came to the negotiation.

"Not that we're aware of, sir." He answered. "They're only reported from the field after forty eight hours without contact."

"Why in the hell would you wait so long?" He asked, shocked. Forty eight hours was more than enough time to kill three shinobi. Especially when two of them were practical royalty.

"Because they're on a classified, co-vert mission." He reported. "They've infiltrated an important target, and if we reveal them-" He couldn't finish his sentence.

"You guarantee their death." Collin completed, sighing in frustration. He couldn't imagine why you would send those particular shinobi in for an infiltration. Everyone in Konoha knew their name. The Villages living in the Land of Fire had known their names for generations. Hatake. Sarutobi. Uchiha. They were as old as time.

There was no doubt about it, even with the little amount of information he'd received, that this had been a poorly planned mission. If anything had really happened to Kakashi-he would see to it that every single person involved in sending him to his death paid a similar price. No shinobi, especially not those as honorably serving as Kakashi, deserved slaughter.

* * *

Kakashi sucked in breath after breath, trying to level his increasing adrenaline as he hid in a broom closet with his team mates, feverishly looking for some type of antiseptic he could use for bleeding wound that seemed to grow with every pain-filled groan that Asuma smothered against the bandana that Sarlo had bound him with. Kakashi had no idea what kind of power it took to give someone a spreading, painful, bleeding wound. The truth was he didn't even want to know. He just wanted to stop it before it killed his best friend.

Kakashi hadn't been found out yet, but Asuma and Sarlo had been busted. He wasn't sure when, but it must have been recent. He knew that because they were still alive.

"There's nothing in here!" Sarlo yelled at him, his voice full of panic, looking around the ancient shelves at the solvents. "Hatake, what are we gonna do?!"

"Shut up and apply the damn pressure!" Kakashi demanded. "I'll find something..."

He looked back at Sarlo and Asuma. As badly as Sarlo was taking this, Kakashi knew that he was probably grateful he wasn't in the third member of the team's position. Asuma was blanching, very, very quickly. He knew that it meant that he was losing blood, and by extension blood pressure. He would probably start to lose consciousness soon, but not nearly soon enough. He was in too much pain. He'd never felt so sorry for someone before. Asuma didn't deserve this.

He watched as Sarlo tried to soothe Asuma, but to no avail. Tears streamed down his cheeks, his eyes dilating as the pain only intensified. Kakashi could see the marks on the bandana from where Asuma had bitten down so hard, he'd bitten through the fabric.

He grabbed the pack he'd bought when they were in town last, after Sarlo had burned the hell out of his hand when they were cooking. It was called Yarrow, and it was only good to keep swelling down, but it was better than nothing.

He tossed it to Sarlo. "Grind this." He instructed, resuming his search for an antiseptic. He knew that even if he found what he needed to treat Asuma, that he faced bigger problems. The mission had failed. Just because he hadn't been discovered yet didn't mean that they wouldn't soon put the pieces together. The three of them had arrived at the same time, impersonating a group of nobles.

It was safe to say that the mission had failed. His only hope was that their team leader had called them in to ANBU headquarters. They were long overdue for M.I.A.


	33. It All Comes Together When It All Falls

**Make sure that you read the foot note!**

* * *

"Why wasn't I informed at twenty-four hours?!" The Third's strong, commanding voice demanded. "I sent those specific men with specific instructions!"

"Yes, sir. We just- we can't afford to blow their cover." The superior General tried to explain, watching as the old man gently lower himself into the big chair that sat behind a familiar desk. Arashi had occupied that same place barely six months ago. "The mission-

"My son is out there." He interrupted him, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. "My youngest son."

"We're doing our best to recover them, sir." The General answered respectively, only being able to imagine what his leader was going through. He had four young children himself. Three of them were boys. His oldest was almost of age to enter the academy, and he wanted this hell to be over before he did. He wanted his sons and daughter to be ninjas in a time of peace--if they chose the same career. He didn't want to bury his children. He'd buried enough of his shinobi.

* * *

Kakashi's search was suddenly halted when he heard Asuma start to suck in air instead of breathing as his panic grew with every wave of pain that grasped him. Kakashi listened for a moment as Sarlo tried to soothe Asuma, but fruitlessly. Unable to handle it any longer, he turned around to see Asuma finally give into his desperation as the wounds in his abdomen grew deeper and wider with every passing second. He started to sob as his fingers curled into the fabric of Sarlo's ANBU vest, partly from the excruciating pain and half from something else. Kakashi could tell by the fear in his eyes that Asuma knew he had a good chance of dying here.

"Don't just sit there, Sarlo." Kakashi said in a hushed tone, pulling Asuma away from the wall so that he was parallel with the floor. "Didn't you ever have a medic on your team?" He asked, pushing Asuma's head back as to not construct his airway. Even though Asuma had yet to pass out completely, he was long past the point of being able to think clearly enough to consider things like his respiration rate.

"Yeah, but I never bothered to learn anything." He admitted freely, unwinding the young Sarutobi's fingers from his vest; his only protection. If he hadn't been wearing this, he might very well be in the same predicament as Asuma was now. "She was a bitch." He mused, thinking of the girl he'd known for barely six months. They'd fought non-stop about ridculous things like children often did. That was before they were moved to bigger leagues. That was before they weren't considered children anymore. It was crazy to think that he might miss her.

"-K-kashi was t-he b-bitch on h-his team." Asuma struggled to say, giving Kakashi optimism for their situation. If he was coherent enough to pick on him, then he was coherent enough to use his own Chakra. It meant that he and Sarlo wouldn't be forced to use what very little they had left to compensate for all three of them.

"Yeah, you're fuckin' hilarious, Asuma." Kakashi encouraged, a hand still holding Asuma's head back as the other strayed towards the gauze that had been placed over it as more of a cover than a bandage. "Stay with us."

"Tell Rin-te-ll her, n-not to n-name her kid af-fter me, if-if I-I get left out here." Asuma said, his voice deathly serious. He sounded like Obito the day he'd made Kakashi promise to take care of Rin for him. The chill alone made Kakashi abruptly stop what he was doing.

"Don't put me in that position, Sarutobi." Kakashi ordered, even though they were technically the same rank and he had no business saying so. "Understand?"

Asuma cracked a giddy, disoriented grin. "Yes'sir." He told his friend, bringing his hand to wrap around Kakashi's wrist as Kakashi increased the pressure to try to stop the bleeding that had started at what had resulted of the fragmented lower sternum. As insignificant as it was, the contact was more comforting to Kakashi than it was to Asuma. It brought him a solace he couldn't explain. He had never gotten to touch Obito--when it happened. He'd been forced to leave him under than conglomeration of boulders and rocks to die alone. Nobody had held his hand. Nobody had craddled him when he cried out from the fear. The bravest person Kakashi had ever known had died an undeserved death. Kakashi never got to console him as he drew his last breath at fourteen years old. Nobody was there with him when it happened. It was, and always would be, one of Kakashi's greatest regrets.

"You're gonna be all right, Asuma, okay?" He forced himself to assume. "If I bury you, I'm burying you because of those damned cigarettes, you understand me?"

He chuckled a little before giving off a rough, aspirated cough. "Living hurts." He gasped.

* * *

Rin was already awake by the time Collin had come to check on her. She wasn't sure if she had even gone to sleep. She just knew that she was lying in the bed she had shared with Kakashi. She was holding the pillow that still smelled faintly like him and that she was staring at the blades of the ceiling fan as they turned in fast circles. It was the first time in nearly a week that the baby had been still, but Rin couldn't fathom sleeping. She couldn't bare the thought of having a good dream, knowing that Kakashi was out in an enemy nation with no reinforcement.

After the ANBU had come to deliver the devastating news, Rin couldn't do anything. She'd been so inconsolable that she couldn't even take her own self to bed. Collin had to practically carry her as she fell to pieces. She'd been trained to hold it together in all instances, but they'd never said anything about what to do in the instance that she was hormonal and alone and an emotional wreck. All she could think about was how this could of happened to Kakashi. Her body didn't work. Her limbs felt like lead. Her chest felt heavy, like her heart was enlarged and crushing any available space to her lungs.

"You hungry?" He asked, standing in the door way. She could tell by his voice that he was surprised to find her awake. "I'm thinkin' about getting a pizza."

She swallowed. "No." She answered simply, her throat raw and painful from the past six hours of unrestrained tears.

She heard him sigh, felt his footsteps as they vibrated into the wood of the bed frame from floor as he got closer. "C'mon, Rin." He encouraged. "You haven't eaten since they came. Are you sure you don't want anything from town? I'm going anyway."

"You've been here the entire time?" She asked softly, turning her head to look at him even though the muscles in her neck ached.

"I'm not going to leave you here alone, Rin." He told her like it was one of the most obvious things in the universe. "Now tell me what you want or you risk me bringing something you don't like back." He said.

"I'm not hungry." She told him quietly, unable to return the comforting smile he gave her. It hurt down to her soul to even look at him. He shouldn't be here now; reminding her of what she'd lost. Those beautiful onyx eyes only harbored one thought when she looked into them--and that one thought didn't have anything to do with the man Lord Nakaue really was.

"All right, fine." He conceded. "Is there anything else you want?"

She thought back to what Kakashi said about the mission. He was talking about hoping that Asuma brought what he needed to and didn't forget about his cigarettes like he did on the last mission they were on together. Kakashi had done everything possible not to relate back to his very last mission and Rin didn't say anything either. The air around them seemed to be so thick with their apprehension of the subject. The few days leading up to his leave, it was hard for them to even look at each other for the memory of what had really happened.

She loved Obito. She really did, but it just wasn't fair to talk about him to Kakashi. Whenever she had wanted to talk about the friend she'd lost or about any fear she held--she talked to Kurenai.

"Call Kurenai?" She asked, looking up into his Uchiha-like eyes in tears. "Please?"

"You got it." He told her, stepping backwards towards the door. "Yuuhi, right? Kurenai Yuuhi?"

Rin nodded, her palm sliding over the swell of her abdomen when the baby finally shifted. The tears escaped as she remembered that she was supposed to find out what gender the baby was soon-- and that Kakashi was supposed to go with her.

"Collin?" She called through the tears before he got out of earshot. "What do you want the baby to be?"

The question made her feel even worse. She hadn't kept her promise to Collin. She hadn't included him on how the baby was doing, knowing "it" was his child as much as it was hers.

She should have known better than to do what she had done. She should never have shut him out of her life just because she was angry at the way things were. He'd done nothing but be gentle and understanding through the awkwardness. He'd honestly thought she was older when he had asked Konoha that the Inuzuka clan bear him a child. He had the genuity to be honest with her no matter how painful it was for him and she had repaid his kindness and the kindness his people were going to do for her Village by trying to exclude him from the development of his first son or daughter. She should have known better. She should have remembered the misery she'd gone through from her own father's anonymity during her developmental years as a child on the compound. She shouldn't have thought she could act like Collin had never been a part of her life. He always would be. Every time she held their child, Collin would be a part of her life, and she should have at least tried to adjust to that.

He just smiled softly at her with his Uchiha like smile. "A girl." He said, his voice scarcely above a whisper as the tips of his fingers ran across the swell of her abdomen. "I want a little girl."

* * *

**A/N: So! I've been racking my brain for the material for the next few chapters, and then I realized, what would be better than getting the fans of the story in on it?**

**Leave reviews for:**

**A- The gender of Rin's baby.**

**B- The name of Rin's baby.**

**C- Anything else that you feel needs to be included in the review.**

**Gracias.**


	34. Baby boy

Kurenai had been over in less than five minutes after Lord Nakaue had called. She and Rin had been close friends when she had lived next door, but she had to admit that she had been surprised by the call, to say the least. Before the pregnancy, before everything--Rin used to confide in Kirenai about everthing. Rin's demenaor had made her an easy person to trust with her own secrets as well. She had even slept over a time or two when the dreams about Obito and Kakashi had become too much to take. They had been such a mess for so long that they had just fallen together easily as friends.

When Rin had left and Kurenai didn't have that anymore--she'd become distant from everything. She wasn't even recognizable as the person she'd been and all Asuma had been able to think about during that time was how Kakashi was taking her extended absence. The difference between she and Kakashi was that the person she saw herself with for the rest of her life always stopped by her house on his way home to tell her good night. His masculine, ashy smell always seeming to cling to her clothes and skin when he hugged her, holding her close to him a little longer each time. When she laid in bed that night she thought of him and what he might be doing. He hadn't left her to live with some child of royalty that would be able to give him everything that she couldn't. No, Kurenai hadn't experienced that level of personal hell and she hoped that she never would. She wanted him to come home to Konoha and stop by every night. She longed for the quiet tap on the front door. She found it hard to sleep without it.

"Where is she?" She asked the young Lord, softly bowing to him in respect. Rin and Kakashi might not have seen him as the descendant of the Fire Nobles, but it was a fact that Kurenai couldn't ignore.

"In the bedroom." He answered quietly, his eyes flickering with concern. "She won't talk to me. I mean, not really."

"I've got it, don't worry." She told him, proceeding towards the bedroom, mentally preparing herself for what she might find. She knew that Rin hadn't done so well since Arashi died, but that didn't make her any less Kurenai's friend. There was more than

"Wait." He stopped her. "-Kakashi, I don't know if you know--he and his squad are M.I.A." He told her, staring intently at her eyes. She was used to it by now, but the way he did it sent shivers up her spine. People normally just looked at the crimson red tint of her eyes, but he stared past the abnormal color and into her soul. It was like he could see her heart shatter as her brain fully registered the weight of those words.

"Asuma and Sarlo, too?" She asked, her voice wavering. She suddenly felt ill. She hadn't heard that the whole team was gone.

"I'm sorry." He said genuinely. "I just wanted you to know. I didn't want you to be suprised like she was."

Kurenai didn't say anything as she quietly spun on the back of her heel, and headed towards Rin's bedroom where the quiet sobbing became more and more audible. She must have heard Lord Nakaue tell Kurenai what had happened, reaffirming the horrible truth.

She carefully opened the door, her back muscles seizing as she heard the omnipresent squeak of the hinges that Kakashi had never fixed. "I'm here, Rin." She identified, unsure of what else to say. It was bad luck to say that shinobi's that were M.I.A were okay before they could be confirmed, but she desperately wanted to hear it herself.

* * *

The wounds had finally stopped advancing, much to the relief of all three of them. Asuma had lost conciousness shortly after they had made it to the border of another Village, out of the jurisdiction of the one they'd secretly infiltrated. They were out of reach. They were safe. Kakashi had to tell himself that countless times. They were safe. No one was dead. They were safe.

The air around him felt heavy and damp, but Kakashi had never felt so relieved in his life. Not even when he had seen Rin in the middle of town that day when she had come back after nearly four months without her. They'd been found out, but nobody had died due to that grave mistake. He couldn't believe it.

He was supposed to be keeping guard while Sarlo caught some shut eye. Kakashi could hear his gentle snoring over in the corner coming from the shinobi curled against the corner of the abandoned cabin, using his right arm as a makeshift pillow. No one had slept well since they'd started the mission.

He was snapped out of his in between mental state when Asuma gave off an aspirated cough, trying to take in an even breath in his unconious state. He carefully crawled over to Asuma on his hands and knees, reassuringly placing a hand over his chest. He still felt cool to the touch, despite the seven blankets they had layered over him in an effort to keep him from going into shock until morning when they could send for help.

He looked Asuma over, he was a ghostly white--as if he'd been drained of nearly all his blood. His unruly hair had been matted to his scalp by the sweat from the humidity in the air, and his breathing was uneven, so much so that there was a time or two that Kakashi was sure that it had stopped. Kakashi could picture the state of the wounds under the blankets, raw and clean since Kakashi had bandaged them in an effort to keep Asuma from touching them in instinct and getting an infection of some kind. The bandages would have soaked up all of the excess blood, making them rust-colored and old looking even though they had been placed there less than twelve hours ago.

Rin had given a whole speech about pathogens and infections one time when Obito had clumsily tore a gash in his arm during a fall.

"It's okay, Asuma." He soothed, unsure of whether or not the young Sarutobi could even hear him. "We're out of the Red Zone. We'll go for help in the morning. You're gonna be all right, okay? Just hang in there for a few more hours."

He couldn't help but feel like he owed his protection to Asuma somehow, past their bond as occasional teammates. They'd been friends as long as Kakashi could remember. Asuma had been the only soul to make sure that Kakashi didn't grieve himself to death after he ran Rin away. He'd forced Kakashi to shower, to eat, to move around so he didn't become bed-ridden. It was Asuma's place that Kakashi went when he wanted to hide from something. He couldn't help wonder what Asuma thought, each time he had shouwn up on his door-step over the years.

Kakashi had never been turned away. Not once.

It was his turn to repay that kindness. He wasn't going to let Asuma die; not like Obito. He wasn't going to die before his life really even started in the middle of enemy ground somewhere. That wasn't Asuma's destiny. Not as long as Kakashi had something to say about it.

"Rin's supposed to find out what the kid is tomorrow." He murmured to his unconcious friend as to not wake Sarlo. He realized that she would be at thirty-six weeks in two days, and it wouldn't be long until the baby was born. If things went how Arashi had planned them, then the missions would slow down. Peace would be more tangible. Everything would be okay with the Nakaue's resources pouring into Konoha.

The baby wasn't even biologically his, but he already felt an attatchment to it. He already felt love for it. He didn't know why that was and he wasn't even sure that he cared. He'd done everything in his power to make sure Rin knew that he'd do whatever it took to make sure that he was a positive influence in its' life. He was going to be twice the father that the White Fang was, to a baby that wasn't even his.

"I want it to be a boy." He confessed to Asuma, a fact he hadn't even told Rin. "Rin and I would do better with a boy." He mused. "We could teach him jutsu's and he could play at the Inuzuka compound like Rin did when she was little. She still tells stories about those days, or atleast she did."

Maybe it was because of his feelings for Rin. Maybe it was because he had been more involved in her pregnancy than he had ever imagined himself being. He'd read books about it. He was the one she talked to about the future she wanted for it. He had built the nursery for it. He didn't know what had caused his change of heart from his attitude from the summer before, but he loved the baby. He was genuinely excited about it's birth. It was like Collin Nakaue didn't even factor into the equation anymore.

"They have big gatherings during the holidays, the Inuzuka's. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the biggest clan in Konoha." He continued talking to Asuma, gingerly running his fingers through the matted hair that Asuma had normally always kept up and clean to get it out of his face. Every time Kakashi started to talk, he eyed Asuma for a complete respiration. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

He wasn't going to lose anybody else.


	35. Rescued

Rin took a deep breath in as Dr. Xesn rubbed a cool gel across her enlarged abdomen in preparation for the sonogram. She was about to find out what the baby was alone in a cold dark room. Kakashi was all she could think about, like normal since he'd left. Collin had offered to go with her, but she had politely refused it. It wasn't that she didn't want _him_ there, it was that she didn't want _anyone_ there. Since Kakashi had left, she didn't feel comfortable around other men. She felt like she was being dishonest to Kakashi, especially when it came to Collin. Even though she knew that it wasn't true, she still felt her stomach turn into knots with guilt every time Collin touched her.

"That, Rin." Dr. Xesn started, pointing to the lighter shade of grey that resembled the body of a baby. "-is your....son." He said, smiling brightly at her. "Congratulations."

Rin brought her fist up the tangle in her hair, keeping it away from her face as she felt the tears leak out of her eyes. The baby was a boy. He was real and alive. All of the emotion and the pain of the past couple of days came to a climax as she heard the sound of her son's healthy heart beat as Dr. Xesn reached over towards the computer and turned on the audio of the sonogram. She had never fully accepted this pregnancy, convinced that something would happen to it just like the first. She knew--just knew-- that somehow this baby would be taken from her too and she just couldn't put herself through that again. She couldn't go through that kind of heartbreak again. She just didn't have it in her anymore. To add insult to injury, nothing really assured her as far as people's reassurances went. The only thing that gave her a glimmer of hope was when she grew a little bigger each month. She was only assured when she felt it, him, move.

"He sounds good too." He observed as he listened to the quick pulse like beating of the baby's heart, watching the screen in correlation to each beat. "Lungs look good. The heart is structurally sound." He said, pointing to the muscle that could be clearly seen. "By all accounts, Rin, he's a healthy thirty- four week old fetus." Dr. Xesn told her brightly.

"So, only another three to five weeks?" Rin asked, her voice small. She thought it would be hard to imagine him, the baby, here, but it wasn't. She couldn't wait. She couldn't wait to set eyes on him, to hold him, to feel him in her arms. She already had an idea of what he would look like.

"Most likely three." Dr. Xesn replied, rubbing some to the excess gel away, causing her to breathe out. She looked over towards the printer, knowing that he had taken some pictures from the computer for her to take home. "I have to ask. How long has Lord Nakaue been in Konoha now?" He asked, trying his best to keep intentions from his voice, failing miserably. It caused her to giggle a little in her state of euphoria as she came away from her blank stare at the printer.

"About two weeks, not even." She answered him. "He should be leaving soon. He's got a meeting out in the Village Hidden in the Sand sometime this week."

He gave her a small assuring smile. "-and, I know it's none of my business, but what are your plans regarding the baby?" He asked, looking at her intently.

Rin logically knew that Dr. Xesn was from the Land of Fire. He had told her that the first time she'd met him. Knowing that didn't keep her from treating him like someone from the Leaf Village. She felt like she knew him as someone from the Leaf Village instead of a young doctor that was on loan to the Village by the Nakaues themselves. She felt like he was the man she ran into at the market, no other way. But he was from the Land of the Fire. Those people were his people. She was carrying a member of the ruling family. It was only natural that he would want to know what it was that she and his father had planned for it. She couldn't blame him for his curiosity, especially after he had gone above and beyond the call of duty to take care of her.

"I'm keeping him until he's old enough to communicate well, until he can be taught." She cleared her throat. "And then, Collin's going to take him back to the Castle, and we'll set up visitation arrangements along with the negotiations for trade in Konoha, but by then it'll be more like re-negotiations, cause trade would have opened up the day his birth certificate is signed."

"So, Lord Nakaue's going to oversee his education?" He asked, bringing her back to the baby. She nodded, a little wary of where he was taking this conversation.

"We thought it would be the best." She said softly, practically able to feel his apprehension. "They have a better academic school in the Land of Fire. Konoha really only has the Academy."

"So you don't want him to be a shinobi?" He prodded.

"If he wants." She defended, noticing how he started to sound like Kakashi. She and Kakashi had this same arguement when she and Collin had first started to talk about their plans for after the baby was born. That was before Kakashi had built the nursery, telling her how much he loved her and that he wanted to be apart of the baby's life in some small way. "-but I want him to have the option."

"Fair enough." He recounted. "I'll see you in three weeks." He told her, helping her off the table.

* * *

Kakashi found himself being shaken awake by Sarlo, the first light of morning shining behind him. He had fallen asleep along side Asuma after Sarlo had gotten up and went out in search of some clean water. It was then Kakashi recognized other voices. The voices of the other men on the mission.

"Come on, Kakashi. We gotta go." Sarlo said hoarsely. "They're shipping us all back to Konoha. We've all been "medically compromised"."

Kakashi pulled a face, groaning as the dull ache in his neck gave a painful twinge. That didn't make any sense. "We don't all need to-

"Don't argue with them, Kakashi, I already tried it." Sarlo interrupted. "-besides, wouldn't you rather go back with Sarutobi?" He asked, motioning towards the blanched, barely alive shinobi.

Kakashi couldn't argue with that. This way, he could watch over Asuma. He'd be back by the time the baby was born. This way, it wouldn't have to feel like his whole life had changed while he had been gone from it.


	36. In the Arms of those you love

Rin held the sonogram picture in her hand, carefully running her thumb over what she was fairly sure was the baby's skull. She could already see the indentations where his eye sockets and nasal cavity were. He looked, even while still a fetus, like an Inuzuka baby strangely enough. He wasn't born yet, but Rin could already tell that he was going to favor his mother in looks. She couldn't wait to show Tsume.

She slowly rubbed the top of her protruding stomach, biting her lower lip as tears started to well up in her eyes. This was a big moment for her. She was going to be the mother of a beautiful little boy. She wished Obito were here to experience this with her. She could picture him talking to the baby, reading to it, singing to it when he thought that she was asleep. She could see it so clearly, like it was an actual occurrence instead of a fantasy. She could picture him buying odd trinkets for him, asking with an boyish grin if he could help her think of names.

She probably would have made Obito the baby's godfather if he were still here.

Goddamn it, he should still be here. If she hadn't been stupid enough to let herself get kidnapped, he would be. Goddamn it, it should have been her. They were nearly at the two year anniversary of his death and she still couldn't get past the one thought she'd been thinking since they buried him. It was her fault. Kakashi might have wasted unnecessary time fighting with him after Obito had already decided that he was going after her, but it was Rin who had put all of the events of that night into play.

Kakashi and Arashi-Sensei had both taken personal responsibility for it. She had helped them both assuage their guilt over that night. She remembered all the nights she'd stayed up with Kakashi. She could still see the changes in personality since then. Kakashi was a more loving person. He finally accepted his humanity, acknowledged his own soul and his own anguish instead of just the mission at hand. She felt an overwhelming amount of pride for him. She was proud of him, of the person he had finally become, even though she'd gotten hurt in the process. She loved him.

"Rin!" She heard a little girl's voice yell as she neared the white fence that kept in all of the puppies and small children. She snapped out of her self-induced trance, looking up to where the voice had originated to see an eight year old with bright brown eyes and an even brighter smile. Hana.

"Hey honey." Rin greeted, giving her a warm smile. She couldn't help but giggle a little as the little girl's eyes fell on her enlarged stomach, her mouth a gape and her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. Rin had almost forgot for a moment that Hana hadn't seen her since she was around four or five months along, a considerable difference from now. She must have looked huge to the little girl, unworldly. She held her arms out to her baby cousin.

"I'm not gonna bite you." She assured when Hana started to hesitate. This was the first time Hana had ever not thrown herself into Rin's embrace, open or not. "Come give me a hug."

"I just don't want to hurt it." Hana explained sheepishly, her eyes still glued to Rin's swollen belly.

Rin sighed softly in-spite of herself, looking at the little girl, touched by the concern that she openly exhibited. "You can't hurt it." She said, extending her pinky towards the little girl like she used to when she swore something to Hana. "I promise. " And after her promise was accepted by her cousin's little finger wrapping around hers. "In fact, I came to show your mom some pictures of it- him." She corrected. "Would you like to see them too?" She questioned the younger Inuzuka.

She nodded, pulling at the hem of the white shirt she was wearing in a nervous matter. Rin held her hand out to her, her angst over Obito's sudden death temporarily set to the side. Life was for the living. She owed Hana her attention, undivided.

"Come on then." She said softly to the little girl. "Where's your brother?" She asked when she noticed the toddler's absence.

"He's inside. Mommy said he couldn't be outside until he got over his cold."

This alarmed Rin. It was the first she'd heard of Kiba ever being sick. "How long has he been sick?" She prodded the eight year old.

"Not very long." She said, shrugging as she pushed open the door with her hip. "Mommy says he's just building up an immunity. She said that we all have to. It's what keeps us from getting sick."

"That's right." Rin confirmed, surprised that Hana even knew the word "immunity", let alone it's definition. "It keeps you from getting sick."

"Mommy! Rin's here!" She hollered into the house that smelled like honey and lemons, a sign that Tsume had made her homemade, yet very powerful decongestant. Rin had even recommended it to some of her patients with Tsume's permission. It had the power to knock the phlegm out of mucus itself. The only problem was that it took about fifteen minutes to work. An eternity if you were sick. A lifetime if you were a child and convinced that you were going to die before it kicked in. Rin grimaced as she heard the sudden screams of a three year old. Rin listened carefully to the sobs. She could tell by his languid coughs that Kiba really was sick. He sounded worse than she thought he would.

"Oh, Kiba, son." She heard Tsume plead. "Please calm down. You have to wait for the medicine to work, baby."

Rin carefully made her way down the hallway that was filled with pictures and tables filled with knick-knacks, trying desperately not to knock anything over. "Tsume?" She asked.

"I'll be right there, Rin." She yelled, not realizing that Rin was also in her son's room. She turned around to see there intruder. "Oh. Hi." She told her niece.

"Having fun?" She asked her Clan Leader , feeling sympathetic for the red-faced, still screaming three year old that laid on the changing table, his mother rubbing some vapor gel on his chest to better open up his nasal cavity.

"You'll find out." She said confidentially as she picked up the toddler, cradling him close to her own body as she started to bounce him in a soothing way, shushing him as she ran a gentle hand over the back of her head. Rin was amazed at how fast Kiba had settled down once Tsume picked him up. She could see it in his eyes that he felt comforted and secure. She couldn't help but wonder if she ever looked like that as a toddler when her mother had held her.

"I had a sonogram today." She said, her throat suddenly feeling raw at the thought of her mother. She held up the pictures in her hand. "I brought some pictures by."

"We'll look at them as soon as I get him to sleep." She told the heavy pregnant Inuzuka. "Go ahead and help yourself to what's in the fridge." She said simply. "You really shouldn't be on your feet so much."

As if on cue, the arch of her left foot gave a subtle ache. "Okay." She resigned. "C'mon, Hana, you can show me the new T.V. I saw in the living room."

* * *

Kakashi sat quietly in the corner of the sterile white hospital room, staring off into space as he rested his chin against his knuckles. He was nearly lulled to sleep by the steady pulse of the monitors they had hooked to Asuma to make sure that he stayed in the stable condition that Kakashi had barely managed to hold on to long enough to get him to a hospital. They had told him personally had he not been so quick to react, Asuma most likely would have died before they even had a chance to get him to a decent hospital. They had even talked about honoring him with a medal of some sort during the next festival, but he politely declined.

Asuma's life was thanks enough.

He didn't know why he was still here. Asuma probably wouldn't wake up until tomorrow at the earliest with the drugs they had him on. Even he was, he wouldn't be much company in the shape he was in. But, the fact remained that Kakashi was still sitting with Asuma with subtle differences. He was clean and bandaged instead of dirty and bleeding.

He had checked in on Rin soon after they had released him from care only to find that she had an early morning appointment and had left the hospital hours ago with sonogram pictures.

She was probably home right now, wondering where he was and if he was okay. He had very nearly lost control when he had heard that they had told a very pregnant Rin that he had been lost in a war-torn enemy country. That kind of news could have hurt her or the baby. They shouldn't have bothered her until he was confirmed dead and had been brought back to Konoha and already prepared for burial and not a second before.

Obito's family, the Uchiha's, he wondered for a split second how they would feel if they were to hear that Kakashi had died. The unclean, non-clan member that had the Sharingan that he couldn't even use. He wondered how his death would affect them, if even at all. The only Uchiha's who had cried over Obito were his parents and the Clan Leader. Everyone else had come out of obligation. They were stone-faced. Kakashi had nightmares about that stare in the first month or two he'd been home after the funeral.

What did it take to be that heartless?

He swallowed thickly, refusing to sit here and feel sorry for himself another damn second in front of Asuma. He owed the people in his life better than that. He stood up, readjusting his mask so that his Sharingan eye was covered. It had a bad habit of becoming active at inappropriate times since he'd been back on friendly ground and he didn't want to tempt it. He ran his fingers across the clean bandages on Asuma's chest, comforted by the warmth that was given off by Asuma's body. He was alive.

"I'm gonna go see if I can find Rin." He told Asuma even though he was even more unconcious than he had been before. "I'll be back tomorrow, maybe even later tonight, to check on you, okay?"


	37. I Will Love You Like I Always Have

Kakashi struggled to take in a deep breath as he waited patiently, sitting in the corner of the waiting room of the E.R. He could feel his grief, his anxiety, his worry start to choke him. He looked down numbly at his hands, damning himself for his actions of the last few hours. He'd let her down this time, he knew he had. He always had. He should have known something was wrong. He shouldn't have gone to sleep that night with her so restless. He should have stayed awake, stayed with her. He should have woken up instead of resisting her gentle touch as she tried to shake him awake. God, how long had she been calling to him, begging him to help her?

He had been here for no more than two hours, but it felt like a century.

Twice? Four times? He just couldn't remember. He'd been so tired when he'd finally gotten home. He hadn't rested for nearly two weeks, and had spent most of the day next to Asuma while he laid in the hospital bed in a near coma after that. He couldn't bring himself to wake up once he'd been left in the peace and serenity of his home with her, her scent surrounding him in the pillows and blankets. But once he had, he had found himself in the midst of a nightmare. He only remembered the feeling of her blood on his skin, her deep amber eyes filling with terror as the tears started to fall.

"It hurts." She'd whimpered against his skin, her tears soaking the base of his neck. "Oh, God, 'Kashi it hurts."

That was all he needed to know, all she needed to tell him, until he'd wasted no time getting her to the hospital--to someone who could help her.

He remembered Tsunade taking one look at her before she demanded he leave, so they could operate on the young Inuzuka girl.

And he hadn't heard a damn thing since.

_"Someone call Dr. Xesn, right now!" Tsunade had ordered, her long fingers running over Rin's forehead in an effort to calm her while the medic across from her pushed some drug through the IV they started the moment she'd come in. "You're gonna be okay, Rin." She assured Rin as she struggled to speak, her almond colored eyes looking over the blanched, sweat-streaked, unnaturally cool skin."It's gonna stop hurting soon, Hikari just gave you something to make it go away.__"_

_She unwound her stethoscope from her neck, putting the pad against her abdomen. Her look didn't do anything to reassure Kakashi at all as she moved it to different locations on Rin's belly. _

_"How long has she been bleeding?" She snapped at Kakashi, looking at him from the corner of her eye--not taking her attention away from Rin as she writhed under her touch from nothing but pain._

_"I don't know." He'd been forced to admit. "She was-" he paused, unable to force himself to say "bleeding". "-like **this** when she woke me up."_

_"Where the hell is Dr. Xesn?!" Tsunade shouted at the medic she had sent to contact him, causing the green employee to jump nearly out of her skin._

_"Right here." He said, appearing from no where as he stepped out of the smoke created by his jutsu." It's three in the morning, I'm not due in four another three hours. What's the em-" It took one look towards his patient for his expression to match closely to Lady Tsunade's. "Rin, honey, what happened?" He asked, his voice full of concern as he stepped closer to her, checking over both vitals. _

_He tore his stethescope out of his ears, releasing a low sigh. "She's abrupt." He told Tsunade. "Most likely complete. She needs to be in the O.R." _

_"I was afraid you were going to say that." Tsunade said sadly, turning slowly on her heel towards the young shinobi that stood behind her. "Kakashi, you need to go wait outside. Someone'll come get you as soon as she's stable." _

_"What?" Kakashi asked, unable to understand why he couldn't stay. "I did what you told me to do. I stayed back!" he yelled, trying desperately to make his point so he wouldn't have to leave. "I'm not leaving her!"_

_"Kakashi." She said sternly, grinding her teeth. "I order you. Go over there, tell her she's going to be okay, and that you'll see her when she gets out."_

_"But-__"_

_"Stop wasting time!" She berated in a low voice so only the two of them could hear. She didn't want to make a bad situation worse by raising her voice where Rin could hear. _

He left her. Just life that. After little argument with the woman who had lived longer than his Sensei, Kakashi walked over towards her as she laid on the hospital cot. It was the longest few steps of his entire life. His limbs felt like jelly as adrenaline flooded his entire body. He had a sinking feeling in his gut as he looked at Rin, really looked at her. She'd never looked so far beyond him, in a place where he couldn't get to her, before.

Not even the time when she'd nearly bled to death during the first week they were on Arashi's team together when she'd cut her leg. Arashi had rushed her to the hospital, worried endlessly about her until he got to see her after they'd sewed her back together. She had nearly died then, and everyone knew it even if they didn't say it.

Kakashi barely knew her then. He didn't care the least bit about her at all. Back then, she was just someone he knew--as every bit important of someone he saw checking their mail everyday. It wouldn't have mattered to him it all if she had died that day. It would have made no difference to him so long as her place on the team was replaced. He was heartless then. Now she meant everything to him and he couldn't live without her. He couldn't even think about life without her as he felt her touch.

He forced himself to smile, his face bare since he hadn't had time to fully dress, let alone put on his mask.

_"They're goin' to take you to surgery. You'll be okay." He told her quietly, pressing a kiss to her lips as he wrapped his hand around hers. "I love you." _

_She gasped, struggling for breath. "I love you too."_

Kakashi waited, even though he saw Tsunade come out of the swinging doors of the E.R. He waited until she'd made her way over to him. He waited as she stood in front of him, practically hovering over him before he shifted. He looked up towards her heart-shaped face that was normally full of some strong emotion--and saw nothing. Nothing at all. That was when he felt his stomach turn itself into a hard knot, his ribs aching from the tightness in his chest. That was when he knew.

"We did everything we could, Kakashi. Everything." She began.

He squeezed his eyes shut, the sensitive skin around them giving off a short, intense pain. "Please, don't." He said so softly, she hadn't heard him. He barely heard himself. "Please."

She sat down beside him, resting a gentle hand between his shoulder blades. He did his best not to flinch under her touch. Rin always hated it when he did that. "Rin suffered what's known as a "placental abruption". It's what happens when they placenta comes away from the uterine wall before it's supposed to." She explained slowly, empathetically. "That's why she was bleeding so much."

Kakashi was silent for a long while, looking down at the tiled floor. Then, finally- "Did she see him?" Kakashi asked, swallowing thickly. He could feel the dread building in his chest.

"No, Kakashi. I'm sorry. She didn't see him." She paused, feeling a moment of grief for such a vibrant young medic. She'd given her life for the good of the Village, long before her time. But there would be time for her own emotion later, right now she had to worry about the shinobi next to her. It was what Rin would have wanted. "-but he's healthy, and despite the ordeal, he's going to be okay. Somebody's going to go contact Lord Nakaue-"

"Can-I-Ca-." He stopped for a moment to draw in a ragged breath. "Can I see her?"

Whatever she'd been expecting him to ask her, that hadn't been it. But when the guilt-ridden, grief-saturated, mismatched eyes that looked at her, she couldn't refuse. He'd been put through enough. She wouldn't deny him his request to say goodbye.

"Just, let me go make sure they've finished." She told him calmly, not wanting to know what he would do if he got upset enough right now.

It was in the silence of being alone when the truth really sunk in. In the course of under two years, a whole team had reduced itself to one person. Obito Uchiha. Arashi-Sensei. Rin Inuzuka. They were all dead. They were all gone forever. He was, for the first time since he'd been assigned to the Fourth Hokage's team, alone. He had outlived everybody he'd ever loved. It was something horrible to realize when you had barely rose above the rank of Jounin right before Obito died.

"Kakashi?" He heard a familiar voice call. He looked up to see a face that he would have thought was beautiful if he hadn't been slowly slipping away. Kurenai. She'd been with Asuma so that Kakashi could get some sleep. They'd been taking turns along with the Third so that Asuma didn't wake up alone.

He tried to stand, to assure her somehow, but he couldn't. He was too physically weak. He didn't understand why. "Kakashi, what happened?" She asked, concerned.

He couldn't hold it together anymore after she was close enough for him to realize that she and Rin wore the same perfume. How that had slipped by him in the past, he had no idea. He couldn't fall the Code of Conduct anymore. Without realizing what he'd done, he wrapped his arms around Kurenai. He pulled her close to him, pressing his face against her stomach. He broke down into tears, worse than he could ever remember breaking down. His throat was raw. His muscles hurt. He eyes burned. His heart broke. He felt sick. Rin was dead.

He had to live the rest of his life without her, when he couldn't even get through the four months they were separated in one piece.

He sobbed into the fabric of her shirt, sucking in a horrible excuse for a breath. "I want her to come home with me." He cried, his voice cracking. "I want her back."

* * *

It took three hours before someone had finally located Lord Nakaue--who had apparently left The Village Hidden in the Leaves without notification. During that time, Kurenai had managed to calm Kakashi enough to talk him into letting Rin rest in peace. She had convinced that he really didn't want to see her lifeless and that the image of her like that would haunt him for the rest of his life, just like all the other bodies he'd encountered did. Instead, she led him down the corridors of the hospital, his hand in hers as she led the way, towards the nursery.

Where new life began amidst all the destruction within and outside the walls of Konoha.

It took a few minutes, but Kakashi finally found who he'd been looking for. Nine pounds, seven ounces. Twenty-two inches long. Rin's son. Arashito Kakashi Nakaue.

He remembered how Rin went through baby book after baby book looking for a name that she felt would fit the baby. After she couldn't find a single one she even remotely liked, the two of them talked about naming him after someone. It hadn't been too long after Jiriya-Sensei had left in search of Arashi-Sensei's wife after she'd stopped sending him letters. With their deaths still fresh in their minds, they combined the names of the two people who had helped turn them into the people they were today. Arashi and Obito. Arashito.

He swallowed thickly as he watched Kurenai gingerly lift him from the makeshift bassanet. Adrenaline pumped through him when his eyes fell on the newborn's face. He watched in terror as he stirred gently when Kurenai brough him close to her body, totally unshaken.

"He's beautiful." She said, noting the big Inuzuka eyes and the flawless caramel colored skin.

He nodded mutely. "Like Rin."

* * *

El Fin.


End file.
